It's a shame the good never gets acknowledged

[spamking]

Serious question: Are you married?
If yes you should be well aware that you can't go a week without trying to work something out, even if exceptionally minor. No two people are perfectly in sync and it isn't unreasonable that they might grow increasingly out of sync with time.

I've been married to my high school sweetheart for almost 23 years. No need to tell me about the highs and lows of marriage.

 

[spamking]

I dont think anyone is getting divorced without trying to work things out. its kinda a pain in the ass. I see no reason to stay together when both people are unhappy though.

I'm sure most folks do try to work things out.

 

[panamaican]

I'm sure most folks do try to work things out.

True but sometimes people go through fundamental changes that make a continued partnership impossible.

I don't think people must get divorced over cheating but, in many cases, the breach of trust is so severe that they can no longer cohabitate peacefully. Those people are better off divorced. Or if one partner has fallen out of love with their current partner and fallen in love with someone else, divorce can be better than cheating.

Or one partner wants children and the other partner is completely unwilling to entertain the conversation (assuming that they were once in agreement).

 

[UpaLoompa]

I've been married to my high school sweetheart for almost 23 years. No need to tell me about the highs and lows of marriage.

Then you recognize the silliness of saying that people should try to work it out when the presumption should be that they have been.
12 years here.

 

[James Keith]

I don't think people these days have the foggiest notion what it means to actually put others (e.g. their kids) "first". Apparently it now means "next in line after all my self-centered needs, hopes, dreams, and personal weaknesses have been provided for".

 

[Dalarna3]

Based on what? Even on this, for which I don't see a clear connection to "the decline of western civilization", they're wrong. Divorce rates have been steadily declining since the early 80's.

Well, for starters, western peoples literally aren't having enough babies to maintain their existence.

By the way, a quick Google search appears to show that the divorce rate is relatively stable and has been since the mid 1990s.

 

[UpaLoompa]

Well, for starters, western peoples literally aren't having enough babies to maintain their existence.

Well that's a bizarre metric to look at for your point.

By the way, a quick Google search appears to show that the divorce rate is relatively stable and has been since the mid 1990s.

This data (no idea about the image source) shows up consistently across sites:

 

[spamking]

True but sometimes people go through fundamental changes that make a continued partnership impossible.

They do. Just like outside influences can damage a relationship beyond repair.

I don't think people must get divorced over cheating but, in many cases, the breach of trust is so severe that they can no longer cohabitate peacefully. Those people are better off divorced. Or if one partner has fallen out of love with their current partner and fallen in love with someone else, divorce can be better than cheating.

For sure. If you can't trust your husband/wife then why put up with the relationship?

Or one partner wants children and the other partner is completely unwilling to entertain the conversation (assuming that they were once in agreement).

I'm sure that has caused major issues for folks.

Then you recognize the silliness of saying that people should try to work it out when the presumption should be that they have been.
12 years here.

I don't necessarily know what folks have or haven't done when it comes to stuff like this. I assume they have tried but can also make the comment that with some couples the first time trouble shows up they bail on the relationship and don't try to work anything out.

 

[Dalarna3]

Well that's a bizarre metric to look at for your point.

Not really. If the people won't breed and are dying out, it's a pretty clear indication that their society is failing.

This data (no idea about the image source) shows up consistently across sites:

This one, with a source, points to a stabilization around 20%.

https://familyinequality.wordpress.com/2012/09/21/and-the-2011-divorce-rate-is/

 

[panamaican]

Not really. If the people won't breed and are dying out, it's a pretty clear indication that their society is failing.



This one, with a source, points to a stabilization around 20%.

https://familyinequality.wordpress.com/2012/09/21/and-the-2011-divorce-rate-is/

Most of what I've seen supports the dropoff:

http://www.familyfacts.org/charts/120/the-divorce-rate-is-declining-but-still-high

 

[UpaLoompa]

Not really. If the people won't breed and are dying out, it's a pretty clear indication that their society is failing.

Or not.

This one, with a source, points to a stabilization around 20%.

https://familyinequality.wordpress.com/2012/09/21/and-the-2011-divorce-rate-is/

That's largely the same data. What I wrote:

Even if we accept your premise that people should just stick it out, divorce rates have been pretty steadily declining for the last 35 years.

35 years ago was when divorces peaked. Since that time they've been declining, though your figure excludes part of that span. Here's the link for the data I presented. The main discrepancy is that 2011 had an apparently high rate.
Edit: Sorry, forgot the link. http://www.stateofourunions.org/2009/si-divorce.php

 

[Blackened]

I hate to be that guy, but it's really shocking to me how for decades the religious and far right talked about the decline of western civilization and most people (including myself) thought that they were just being wingnuts. Nope, they were completely correct.

As an agnostic, I tend to agree. It's a new age, not one that I'm particularly comfortable living in. The internet has dissolved our cultural boundaries... it's good on some levels and weird on some levels. People still haven't learned to think rationally.

 

[Blackened]

Well that's a bizarre metric to look at for your point.

This data (no idea about the image source) shows up consistently across sites:

Well, marriages are somewhat strange in many cases (according to the way I was brought up) these days. I have friends from high school, about 1/4 are in "open relationships". I used to fuck one of the ladies, which was a weird experience. I kept looking at their daughter thinking "what the fuck are we exposing this little girl to"? I didn't meet my values so I stopped doing it. I mean, how strange is it mommy's friend goes in the bedroom for a while with her friend while daddy watches TV?

The older I get the more conservative I get.

 

[Cubo de Sangre]

35 years ago was when divorces peaked. Since that time they've been declining, though your figure excludes part of that span. Here's the link for the data I presented. The main discrepancy is that 2011 had an apparently high rate.
Edit: Sorry, forgot the link. http://www.stateofourunions.org/2009/si-divorce.php

Marriage rates are going down too. Makes sense.

 

[Forkfoot]

I don't think people these days have the foggiest notion what it means to actually put others (e.g. their kids) "first". Apparently it now means "next in line after all my self-centered needs, hopes, dreams, and personal weaknesses have been provided for".

My grandparents hated each other but stayed together "for the kids". They separated the day their youngest moved out. My mother has severe rage problems that made my childhood very difficult, and I think it's because she lived in that hateful environment. I wish they'd gotten divorced.

 

[Dalarna3]

Most of what I've seen supports the dropoff:

http://www.familyfacts.org/charts/120/the-divorce-rate-is-declining-but-still-high

That only goes to 2009...

 

[Dalarna3]

Or not.

In what world?

That's largely the same data. What I wrote:

35 years ago was when divorces peaked. Since that time they've been declining, though your figure excludes part of that span. Here's the link for the data I presented. The main discrepancy is that 2011 had an apparently high rate.
Edit: Sorry, forgot the link. http://www.stateofourunions.org/2009/si-divorce.php

Staying around 20% does not equal steady decline. Also, that was written with data only up to 2008. Also, "largely the same" does not equal the same.

 

[squeezewax]

I've always thought there must be a reason for all the news shows around the world being dominated by bad news. Maybe it has to be that way? Got no idea why of course, possibly to keep the populations of the various countries in a state of fear or something.

 

[7437]

I've always thought there must be a reason for all the news shows around the world being dominated by bad news. Maybe it has to be that way? Got no idea why of course, possibly to keep the populations of the various countries in a state of fear or something.

It's what people want to see. News is about ratings.

 

[UpaLoompa]

Well, marriages are somewhat strange in many cases (according to the way I was brought up) these days. I have friends from high school, about 1/4 are in "open relationships". I used to fuck one of the ladies, which was a weird experience. I kept looking at their daughter thinking "what the fuck are we exposing this little girl to"? I didn't meet my values so I stopped doing it. I mean, how strange is it mommy's friend goes in the bedroom for a while with her friend while daddy watches TV?

The older I get the more conservative I get.

Is it much more common than in the 60's or 70's? Personally I doubt it.
It also sounds like many of your friends never should have gotten married.