- Joined
- Jan 25, 2007
- Messages
- 9,745
- Reaction score
- 7,405
So, my partner and I have been searching to buy my first property since March. I accepted on an offer of £200,000 for a one bedroom, leasehold flat and I'm at the point where I've had the mortgage deed and the contract sent to me by post.
I've been torn on the property itself, as it seems like it's quiet, with plenty of parking, and my partner liked it initially. It's small however, so small that I won't really be able to do much with it. I'll be forced to use the traditional dial on the wall whilst sitting in the bath shower, instead of tearing the bathtub out and putting a walk-in shower instead, for example. I also don't have allocated parking that belongs to me, though there are bays dedicated to my block by the landlord and plenty of visitor bays. I also wanted a garage so that I could store a motorcycle, which this property doesn't have. Another issue is that both the main room and the bedroom face south and more importantly, face the communal garden. I don't know how busy that garden will be. The flat is in Sunbury, a mile away from Tescos, an M&S, a gym and a couple of other small things, but the area itself is unremarkable.
My partner, at this stage in the game, told me that I should pull out and find something else next year. The ground rent is included in the maintenance fees, but the maintenance fees are around £2370 a year. She also thinks that I can do better. This has frustrated the hell out of me, as a big reason for my initial push for the property was the fact that she really liked it and was supportive of me buying it. I needed that push. The mortgage? Around £950pcm for five years fixed, then it jumps to around £1200. I intended to rent the place out after five years and buy a new, nicer property, or sell it.
I have to be honest with my situation though. My partner is older than me by more than a few years, she's unable to have children and though we have been together for ten years, we've been complaining for most of them. The last few years in particular has seen the spark completely die out, and we've been living more as friends who nip at each other whilst sleeping in the same bed and living on top of each other, instead of living a passionate, adventurous life. I have become fat, yes, I have aged, yes. She has really suffered during her time with me though, aged physically and her teeth took a big hit a few years ago, when a passenger had swung a briefcase into her face at airport security. She had to get several teeth removed and replaced by these dentures that cause her problems as although they look fine, they're an imperfect fit. I know that it bothers her a lot. Her job is low paying and full of conflict between herself, her managers and her colleagues, but because of her age, she feels like she cannot find another job. She's stressed, she's miserable, she has a good heart but she's stopped being intimate, and I'm sick of being humiliated by being shut down over and over, and she doesn't want to do anything outside of work.
Over the last year or so, she's told me that she's going to quit her job, leave the country and return to her home country to live. She hates the UK, says that it's degraded and cruel, and misses where she spent the first half of her life. I can't say that I really like living here either, though I'm an HGV Driver and I highly doubt that there is work for me over there, and frankly, a big part of me wants to move on from this relationship anyway. She says that she loves me, I love her too, but it's clear that we should have moved on from each other, as we don't make each other happy anymore.
It's causing problems with the purchase as well, as she doesn't like us to be seen in public together. As an adult who could be living with me in this flat that I'm trying to buy, the mortgage lender wants her to sign a Lenders Occupiers Consent Form, which she has signed, but she won't find a witness to countersign it, so the process of buying this property has stalled. Finding a witness is hard enough for me, as I don't have friends outside of work and we don't have any mutual friends between us. She doesn't want to meet my family either. She has stated that she wants nothing to do with my purchase of this flat, that she's going to live with me for a year, then go back home. I'm thinking about pulling out of the sale, giving her some money and sending her on her way. I don't even know if I want her to be with me for another year, though. I'd rather just draw a line and move on. I'd still have to pay solicitors fees though, and I've already paid for searches and ID checks.
My lease on the flat that I'm renting expires in October and I have been asked if I wish to renew a couple of weeks ago. The landlord wants to take £100pcm off the rent, but I don't want to stay here. We've been here seven years, on a rubbish sofa bed, cramped together, with heat that is brutal in the summer and cookers that shut off the electrics after a few minutes. I'll also be paying for damages when I leave, no doubt. I generally care about things, but I've lost my temper once or twice since I've been here.
I am confused as to what to do next, and I don't know how much time I have left to play around with. I was supposed to go to the coast and sign some things today, but I pulled out due to feeling rough, having doubts, but I don't have the next five days because of work and time is already short.
I probably shouldn't have gone for this property in the first place, but here I am. Sucker.
I've been torn on the property itself, as it seems like it's quiet, with plenty of parking, and my partner liked it initially. It's small however, so small that I won't really be able to do much with it. I'll be forced to use the traditional dial on the wall whilst sitting in the bath shower, instead of tearing the bathtub out and putting a walk-in shower instead, for example. I also don't have allocated parking that belongs to me, though there are bays dedicated to my block by the landlord and plenty of visitor bays. I also wanted a garage so that I could store a motorcycle, which this property doesn't have. Another issue is that both the main room and the bedroom face south and more importantly, face the communal garden. I don't know how busy that garden will be. The flat is in Sunbury, a mile away from Tescos, an M&S, a gym and a couple of other small things, but the area itself is unremarkable.
My partner, at this stage in the game, told me that I should pull out and find something else next year. The ground rent is included in the maintenance fees, but the maintenance fees are around £2370 a year. She also thinks that I can do better. This has frustrated the hell out of me, as a big reason for my initial push for the property was the fact that she really liked it and was supportive of me buying it. I needed that push. The mortgage? Around £950pcm for five years fixed, then it jumps to around £1200. I intended to rent the place out after five years and buy a new, nicer property, or sell it.
I have to be honest with my situation though. My partner is older than me by more than a few years, she's unable to have children and though we have been together for ten years, we've been complaining for most of them. The last few years in particular has seen the spark completely die out, and we've been living more as friends who nip at each other whilst sleeping in the same bed and living on top of each other, instead of living a passionate, adventurous life. I have become fat, yes, I have aged, yes. She has really suffered during her time with me though, aged physically and her teeth took a big hit a few years ago, when a passenger had swung a briefcase into her face at airport security. She had to get several teeth removed and replaced by these dentures that cause her problems as although they look fine, they're an imperfect fit. I know that it bothers her a lot. Her job is low paying and full of conflict between herself, her managers and her colleagues, but because of her age, she feels like she cannot find another job. She's stressed, she's miserable, she has a good heart but she's stopped being intimate, and I'm sick of being humiliated by being shut down over and over, and she doesn't want to do anything outside of work.
Over the last year or so, she's told me that she's going to quit her job, leave the country and return to her home country to live. She hates the UK, says that it's degraded and cruel, and misses where she spent the first half of her life. I can't say that I really like living here either, though I'm an HGV Driver and I highly doubt that there is work for me over there, and frankly, a big part of me wants to move on from this relationship anyway. She says that she loves me, I love her too, but it's clear that we should have moved on from each other, as we don't make each other happy anymore.
It's causing problems with the purchase as well, as she doesn't like us to be seen in public together. As an adult who could be living with me in this flat that I'm trying to buy, the mortgage lender wants her to sign a Lenders Occupiers Consent Form, which she has signed, but she won't find a witness to countersign it, so the process of buying this property has stalled. Finding a witness is hard enough for me, as I don't have friends outside of work and we don't have any mutual friends between us. She doesn't want to meet my family either. She has stated that she wants nothing to do with my purchase of this flat, that she's going to live with me for a year, then go back home. I'm thinking about pulling out of the sale, giving her some money and sending her on her way. I don't even know if I want her to be with me for another year, though. I'd rather just draw a line and move on. I'd still have to pay solicitors fees though, and I've already paid for searches and ID checks.
My lease on the flat that I'm renting expires in October and I have been asked if I wish to renew a couple of weeks ago. The landlord wants to take £100pcm off the rent, but I don't want to stay here. We've been here seven years, on a rubbish sofa bed, cramped together, with heat that is brutal in the summer and cookers that shut off the electrics after a few minutes. I'll also be paying for damages when I leave, no doubt. I generally care about things, but I've lost my temper once or twice since I've been here.
I am confused as to what to do next, and I don't know how much time I have left to play around with. I was supposed to go to the coast and sign some things today, but I pulled out due to feeling rough, having doubts, but I don't have the next five days because of work and time is already short.
I probably shouldn't have gone for this property in the first place, but here I am. Sucker.
