Is it hard to make new friends?

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by amplus, Feb 18, 2016.

  1. amplus

    amplus White Belt

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2016
    Messages:
    82
    Likes Received:
    98
    30 now and still got my old friends (group of 5 or 6 of us) who I go away with once a year. But due to work, family, drifting apart, etc we only see each once every 3 months now. Don't really have that many work collegues as they all live quite a distance away and the gym I go to is pretty anti social.

    When I was at uni or school always seemed easy to make new friends. Now I haven't got the foggiest how you make new friend's or meet new people outside of the workplace as a grown adult.

    I'm lucky in that I have a girlfriend of 8 years who I count as my best friend but tired of weekends stuck in with just my girlfriend be nice to go the pub or a bar with some lads and have a laugh which I can't do with my old mates no more.

    So yeah how hard is it to make new friends in adulthood and how?
     
  2. raconnor

    raconnor Rebawk Belt

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2011
    Messages:
    4,346
    Likes Received:
    6,917
    do that. make friends. just go to places where people are and start talkin' man...it ain't hard
     
  3. Merlotte's

    Merlotte's Silver Belt

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2009
    Messages:
    10,810
    Likes Received:
    5,850
    Location:
    AK
    Be the creepy older guy at underage parties or just give up on friends IMO.
     
    Buff, Bonos, Jkaylor and 2 others like this.
  4. Flemmy Stardust

    Flemmy Stardust King of Lea

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2010
    Messages:
    15,529
    Likes Received:
    13,097
    You guys are my only friends
     
  5. amplus

    amplus White Belt

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2016
    Messages:
    82
    Likes Received:
    98
    Im from the UK man. Not sure if it's different in the US but as a young man we don't go to bars or pub's alone unless your a drunken old man. It's seen as weird. People here go to pubs in groups or as a couple so can't just walk up to a random group of people and start chatting to them.
     
  6. LaYLa & SaDiE

    LaYLa & SaDiE High on booty

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2015
    Messages:
    14,722
    Likes Received:
    45,444
    It's easy to make aquatinces but true friends are very rare to find.
     
  7. D Train

    D Train Silver Belt

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2007
    Messages:
    14,069
    Likes Received:
    4,268
    Location:
    Alabama
    What about a sports league or MMA gym? I've met lots of cool people in both of those environments.
    I meet good dudes at my church too, but i know not a whole lot of guys on here are into that.
     
    WandySaku2 likes this.
  8. blitzk

    blitzk Red Belt

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2010
    Messages:
    7,857
    Likes Received:
    2,715
    Location:
    Baja
    I've had this discussion many times before.

    My conclusion is that it's both because of our age (30's) and the times we live in. Everyone is always choosing comfort over socializing or being outdoors, they want to get home to their netflix and their girlfriend/wife and go to bed. They interact with others over social media during the day and they've had their fill of people for a while.

    Can't blame them, people suck. But still, you gotta make an effort and keep those friendships alive, I think.
     
  9. Cubo de Sangre

    Cubo de Sangre President of the War Room

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2014
    Messages:
    38,588
    Likes Received:
    41,050
    Location:
    Hell
    It doesn't seem to get any easier.
     
  10. Flemmy Stardust

    Flemmy Stardust King of Lea

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2010
    Messages:
    15,529
    Likes Received:
    13,097
    In the last few years I've only made friends through other friends or through work. Basically, if i see people regularly enough, we just sort of become friends by default. I haven't tried to make friends since 6th grade.

    If i moved somewhere where it's just me, I'm not going to lie, I'd be fucked. Id have to pray that there were cool people wherever i worked.
     
  11. Primitivo

    Primitivo Third World Prince

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2011
    Messages:
    10,414
    Likes Received:
    16,299
    Location:
    Dominican Republic
    You just need to get Tinder and get friend zoned forever.
     
  12. I Am Legion

    I Am Legion Red Belt

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2013
    Messages:
    8,131
    Likes Received:
    10,449
    I have the opposite problem and I'm craving down time. Old friends, college friends, work 1 friends, work 2 friends, kids friends parents friends.....always got something and it's making me a drunk
     
    Jkaylor likes this.
  13. raconnor

    raconnor Rebawk Belt

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2011
    Messages:
    4,346
    Likes Received:
    6,917
    even at a sports bar? i have met tons of people just going to bars and shooting the shit. from my experience anytime i go to a sports bar and sit at the actual bar (not at a booth or some isolated place) everyone is boozed up, friendly, and likes to chat about whatever. sometimes having a laugh with a group of strangers is more fun than just going to a bar with 1 other dude anyway
     
    Rhett Henley MD likes this.
  14. Bobby Boulders

    Bobby Boulders My Lovin' Is Digi Platinum Member

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2010
    Messages:
    33,420
    Likes Received:
    51,434
    Location:
    The Slums of Shaolin
  15. Brampton_Boy

    Brampton_Boy Douchey Mc Douche

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2002
    Messages:
    6,871
    Likes Received:
    5,450
    Location:
    Brampton, Ontario
    My situation is fairly similar - I'm 31, and while I have a group of friends I have known all my life, we see each other only a handful of times a year.

    With that being said, I'm actually glad I don't have to go out every weekend, or that my plans aren't mapped out weeks in advance (where every Friday and Saturday, it was assumed we would all get together).

    Sometimes a guy just wants to do laundry and bake on a Saturday night.

    P.S: In my experience, the easiest way to make friends is at the gym. You are a group of like minded people showing up to the same place, at the same time (more or less). Alot of my friends over the years are people that I trained with.

    P.S #2: It is so awkward when a new friendship develops as an adult. When a guy says "Bro, we should hit up the sushi place that just opened up", I don't know if they are asking me out on a date (flattered, but not gay), or just want to bro it up (which is only kind of gay)... either way, I'm down.
     
    Organic Damage likes this.
  16. Rhett Henley MD

    Rhett Henley MD Orange Belt

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Messages:
    451
    Likes Received:
    410
    Location:
    Bizarre's hatchback
    Don't overlook masturbaters anonymous groups as a place to meet new friends. It worked for me, that's where I met @HELMER.
     
  17. Striderxdj

    Striderxdj Brown Belt

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2011
    Messages:
    4,725
    Likes Received:
    1,593
    Location:
    Charlotte, NC
    Finding good friends after school is difficult, and only gets harder as you age... it's like trying to find new music to listen to.

    Most of the newer stuff you hear is shit, there may be a few songs you like, but finding entirely new bands you've never heard of is rare. It's even more rare that they compare to the ones you've listened to forever and known your whole life.

    Social hobbies help, but as you get older, everyone has jobs, kids, wives/gfs or closer friends than you who limit the time you can spend with them greatly, getting past being more than an acquaintance isn't common.
     
  18. wonderbread

    wonderbread Stiff Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2007
    Messages:
    6,137
    Likes Received:
    8,491
    Location:
    New York City
    I would prefer to have a couple real close friends than a bunch of "average" friends.
     
  19. Jkaylor

    Jkaylor Double Yellow Card Double Yellow Card

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2013
    Messages:
    6,178
    Likes Received:
    10,598
    Friends? You mean people who post on the same message board as you? Ya, that's easy
     
  20. Reyesnuthugr

    Reyesnuthugr Dominick Reyes Belt

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2005
    Messages:
    10,234
    Likes Received:
    3,879
    Location:
    West Coast / Portland
    TS, swallow your pride and read a few books on how to make friends and talk with people. I used to be an extreme asocial introvert, then I read one crappy generic 70 page rip-off of that Carnegie classic inbetween HS and college, with no intentions other than just to lazily skim through it and forget about it (which I did), and BOOM I got invited to parties, stalked by strangers who want to be friends immediately and ever since that I have to turn away a large percentage of them


    [sounds sarcastic but actual tru story]
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2016

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.