Is it hard to make new friends?

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amplus

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30 now and still got my old friends (group of 5 or 6 of us) who I go away with once a year. But due to work, family, drifting apart, etc we only see each once every 3 months now. Don't really have that many work collegues as they all live quite a distance away and the gym I go to is pretty anti social.

When I was at uni or school always seemed easy to make new friends. Now I haven't got the foggiest how you make new friend's or meet new people outside of the workplace as a grown adult.

I'm lucky in that I have a girlfriend of 8 years who I count as my best friend but tired of weekends stuck in with just my girlfriend be nice to go the pub or a bar with some lads and have a laugh which I can't do with my old mates no more.

So yeah how hard is it to make new friends in adulthood and how?
 
Be the creepy older guy at underage parties or just give up on friends IMO.
 
raconnor said:
do that. make friends. just go to places where people are and start talkin' man...it ain't hard
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Im from the UK man. Not sure if it's different in the US but as a young man we don't go to bars or pub's alone unless your a drunken old man. It's seen as weird. People here go to pubs in groups or as a couple so can't just walk up to a random group of people and start chatting to them.
 
What about a sports league or MMA gym? I've met lots of cool people in both of those environments.
I meet good dudes at my church too, but i know not a whole lot of guys on here are into that.
 
I've had this discussion many times before.

My conclusion is that it's both because of our age (30's) and the times we live in. Everyone is always choosing comfort over socializing or being outdoors, they want to get home to their netflix and their girlfriend/wife and go to bed. They interact with others over social media during the day and they've had their fill of people for a while.

Can't blame them, people suck. But still, you gotta make an effort and keep those friendships alive, I think.
 
In the last few years I've only made friends through other friends or through work. Basically, if i see people regularly enough, we just sort of become friends by default. I haven't tried to make friends since 6th grade.

If i moved somewhere where it's just me, I'm not going to lie, I'd be fucked. Id have to pray that there were cool people wherever i worked.
 
You just need to get Tinder and get friend zoned forever.
 
I have the opposite problem and I'm craving down time. Old friends, college friends, work 1 friends, work 2 friends, kids friends parents friends.....always got something and it's making me a drunk
 
amplus said:
Im from the UK man. Not sure if it's different in the US but as a young man we don't go to bars or pub's alone unless your a drunken old man. It's seen as weird. People here go to pubs in groups or as a couple so can't just walk up to a random group of people and start chatting to them.
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even at a sports bar? i have met tons of people just going to bars and shooting the shit. from my experience anytime i go to a sports bar and sit at the actual bar (not at a booth or some isolated place) everyone is boozed up, friendly, and likes to chat about whatever. sometimes having a laugh with a group of strangers is more fun than just going to a bar with 1 other dude anyway
 
amplus said:
30 now and still got my old friends (group of 5 or 6 of us) who I go away with once a year. But due to work, family, drifting apart, etc we only see each once every 3 months now. Don't really have that many work collegues as they all live quite a distance away and the gym I go to is pretty anti social.

When I was at uni or school always seemed easy to make new friends. Now I haven't got the foggiest how you make new friend's or meet new people outside of the workplace as a grown adult.

I'm lucky in that I have a girlfriend of 8 years who I count as my best friend but tired of weekends stuck in with just my girlfriend be nice to go the pub or a bar with some lads and have a laugh which I can't do with my old mates no more.

So yeah how hard is it to make new friends in adulthood and how?
Click to expand...

My situation is fairly similar - I'm 31, and while I have a group of friends I have known all my life, we see each other only a handful of times a year.

With that being said, I'm actually glad I don't have to go out every weekend, or that my plans aren't mapped out weeks in advance (where every Friday and Saturday, it was assumed we would all get together).

Sometimes a guy just wants to do laundry and bake on a Saturday night.

P.S: In my experience, the easiest way to make friends is at the gym. You are a group of like minded people showing up to the same place, at the same time (more or less). Alot of my friends over the years are people that I trained with.

P.S #2: It is so awkward when a new friendship develops as an adult. When a guy says "Bro, we should hit up the sushi place that just opened up", I don't know if they are asking me out on a date (flattered, but not gay), or just want to bro it up (which is only kind of gay)... either way, I'm down.
 
Three Gun Fish said:
What do you like to do? Other than masturbate, you can probably find other people to share your interests congregating at already familiar spots.
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Don't overlook masturbaters anonymous groups as a place to meet new friends. It worked for me, that's where I met @HELMER.
 
Finding good friends after school is difficult, and only gets harder as you age... it's like trying to find new music to listen to.

Most of the newer stuff you hear is shit, there may be a few songs you like, but finding entirely new bands you've never heard of is rare. It's even more rare that they compare to the ones you've listened to forever and known your whole life.

Social hobbies help, but as you get older, everyone has jobs, kids, wives/gfs or closer friends than you who limit the time you can spend with them greatly, getting past being more than an acquaintance isn't common.
 
I would prefer to have a couple real close friends than a bunch of "average" friends.
 
Friends? You mean people who post on the same message board as you? Ya, that's easy
 
TS, swallow your pride and read a few books on how to make friends and talk with people. I used to be an extreme asocial introvert, then I read one crappy generic 70 page rip-off of that Carnegie classic inbetween HS and college, with no intentions other than just to lazily skim through it and forget about it (which I did), and BOOM I got invited to parties, stalked by strangers who want to be friends immediately and ever since that I have to turn away a large percentage of them


[sounds sarcastic but actual tru story]
 
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