I have bed bugs

Get wasted every night before going to bed. Make sure your blood alcohol level is above .3 every night. Do this for 2 weeks straight and they'll all be dead.
 
All these people telling you to automatically throw out your mattress.. for all we know op has a King size trump delux comfort extreme mattress.


Sell you mattress and buy a new one.
 
Close all the windows, remove all curtains from blocking the sun. Make the house as hot as possible. Turn on the the heat. They start popping at 120 degrees, I think.
 
EL CORINTHIAN said:
So im pretty screwed guys. for the past 8 weeks i have been noticing these weird marks on my body and i kind of summed it up to an allergic reaction or something due to some new supplements i was taking.....big mistake. I went to the doctor after a while because it was getting out of control and he confirmed that they were bites. My left arm is completely covered with bites and im going fucking insane. for the past week i have researched where to find these bastards and for the life of me they cannot be located, they are the ultimate ninjas. Finally this morning i found one on my pillow and it was dead which with a certainty confirms its a bed bug issue.

I called the pest control services in my area and they quoted me at around $1200-$2000 which i do have but im gonna be broke as phuck. Do you guys think i should try and solve it myself or just get it taken care of?
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Do you by chance use meth or other recreational drugs regularly? Those people usually have this problem, cuz they live in filth.
 
I Am Legion said:
ewww STAY OUT OF THIS FORUM before we all get them.
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Lmfao, at first, when I read the thread title- I actually had some weird gut reaction to just not enter the thread, like there was bed bugs in it. Skipped over to another thread, read it, went back to the Mayberry front page, saw it and laughed at myself.

Now I'm in here itching with the rest of you. Heebee jeebees for all, and to all a good night.
 
I called another exterminator and he will do it for a fraction of the cost and apparently hes very good at what he does. Im gonna keep you guys updated. One of these things bit my freaking angus aswell and it hurt to wipe myself. For those of you who are making jokes i hope you guys get zika virus!
 
EL CORINTHIAN said:
I called another exterminator and he will do it for a fraction of the cost and apparently hes very good at what he does. Im gonna keep you guys updated. One of these things bit my freaking angus aswell and it hurt to wipe myself. For those of you who are making jokes i hope you guys get zika virus!
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I hope you fart out a few bed bugs on your couch tonight and they lay eggs there as well.
 
Put lots of german cockroaches in your house, they will eat the bedbugs
 
In all honesty, text all your friends and try to borrow as many portable heaters you can get. Crank every heater to its full potential, close your windows, put down a towel under your bedroom door, and turn your bedroom into a sauna. Once your bedroom hits 118 degrees Fahrenheit they will begin to die. I just spent a good amount of time googling bed bugs and this seems to be the answer.
 
TWO WORDS DIATOMACEAUS EARTH. BED BUGS BITE WHEN YOU SLEEP. POWDER YOUR BED WITH IT. FRAME, FOOT, MATTRESS, FLOOR, PRETTY MUCH ANY SURFACE THESE FUCKERS CAN CRAWL TO YOUR SKIN. BE THE BAIT, THEY CRAWL ON THE POWDER DRY OUT THEN THEY EVENTUALLY DIE. WONT COST YOU MORE THAN 50$. Moved to Brooklyn bed central when I was younger and aptartment was bugged out. Worse experience of my life. These fuckers are no joke . They would crawl to ceiling to drop on you.
 
How'd you get bed bugs? Someone has to bring them there....usually are from foreign travelers honestly. That's why you seem them in hostels, dorms, hotels etc.
 
A very simple and effective solution that worked for me was putting double-sided tape enclosing the perimeter of my mattress cover.
 
I've had kittens bring fleas into my house and it drove me to the brink of insanity. I don't think getting rid of pests is as easy as any of these suggestions. I've read bed bugs are way worse than fleas.
 
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Do not sleep on the couch. That will spread the infestation. They will be attracted to your co2 when you breath during sleep. They will bite you and be too fat to go back to your room and chill on or by your couch.
 
ripsta619 said:
Do not sleep on the couch. That will spread the infestation. They will be attracted to your co2 when you breath during sleep. They will bite you and be too fat to go back to your room and chill on or by your couch.
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Does that mean if TS goes to work, that he can infest his co-workers and workplace? If so, that's pretty cool.
 
fightingrabbit said:
How do you know? Have you gotten rid of them before? Everyone is saying you just need to get rid of the bed. But I thought they start hiding and getting into other stuff. I don't think they're just confined to the bed. I've read that even with exterminators it takes more than one treatment if you have a bad infestation.

Anyways TS. This nifty little invention should solve all your bedbug woes. Try it.

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When I was younger I had them and that is what my brother and I tried and it seemed to work. It could be that my problem wasn't as bad as the TS but I stand by my recommendation.
 
It's 2:41 Am and as I was going to bed I wanted to check for a bug just to make sure. Sure enough I saw the juciest adult bed bug with a full belly of my phuking blood crawling on my pillow. I'm sleeping on the couch tonight fuck that.....checked the couch, coast is clear. If you don't hear from me tomorrow tell my mom I love her for me.
 
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