Tacticious
White Belt
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2005
- Messages
- 6
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Alright, so my attempt at not being super outgoing and getting chicks to hit on you. I'll precede this with a few things. I'm not even getting chicks any more, I got married 9 months ago. I don't really know why women have hit on me in the past. I really don't, this is just my attempt at expressing what I do in hopes it may help someone else. If not, sorry dude, I tried.
First off, I'd say be positive. 90% of people I've met have proclaimed to be positive. However, the vast majority are downers. People don't like downers in general, why the HELL would the opposite sex look for someone to shoot down their own ideas, goals, aspirations, etc? Let's say we're not talking about girls with daddy issues because, let's be real, I'm talking about substance not a fling. I work with a guy who, to him, everything is "stupid". He's good at his job and overall a pretty decent person, but he's abrasive. I don't want to talk to him for longer than I have to. Stay positive, keep things on a good note. Your good vibes will lead those around you to draw the conclusion that they feel uplifted in your presence.
Secondly, don't compromise who you are. A lot of people make the mistake of assuming that people want someone who agrees with them 24/7. A lot of the girls who have hit on me (including a girl I work with who is still trying to "win me over" - I'm married, wear my ring every day, and have a wedding picture on my desk, it's not gonna happen) in the past have at least this in common: I never "tried" with them, and never cared to win their acceptance. An observance I seem to have made is if you're not the one trying to win someone's acceptance, they will likely gravitate to that role. If you disagree (I do it in a funny manner, put your own spin on it) with something they say, oh well. I'm not saying just shoot them down constantly (see above), but if you truly dislike 50 Shades of Gray and she's talking about it, why not make a funny scenario out of it? Joke and poke fun. She'll likely bring something else up to try and get your acceptance. Don't analyze it or put too much thought into it - you don't want to get an ego thinking you're playing god and your acceptance is worth more than anything. It's not. You also have to accept it if this person couldn't give a shit less about your acceptance - that WILL happen.
Thirdly, be unique. How many people do you see every day? Do you know all of their goals, aspirations, talents, etc? No, you don't. What is unique? Allowing someone to know yours. I read a recent study that said women are more attracted to a man with a sense of humor than anything else (and another study claimed guys with a sense of humor are better in bed - and women subconsciously pick that up). There was a lot of theorizing regarding human psychology and how it typically means someone is smart, dominant, and is a deep thinker. If you're funny, make people laugh. Not just her, EVERYONE. Say funny shit. Let loose a bit. If you're not funny, what other trait do you have that sets you apart from the hundreds of people one sees a day? Be conscious of this whole section, as I'm not encouraging creepy shit. If what sets you apart is that you think people are all worthless and you have 3 human-skin lamp shades in your apartment, don't even consider it. What I'm saying is, set yourself apart somehow. The key thing here, though, is that if/when she talks to someone else about you, they're not saying "eww... seriously?" they're saying "RIIIGHT? He's so awesome!". If another woman agrees with positives one woman brings up, it's basically game on. A quick note: If you're not funny, try this. If someone says something that could be taken dirty (like "god that was so hard"), remember these two responses: "Sick" and "I thought you meant something totally different". You can be dry as HELL and if you say "Sick..." after someone says "god that was so hard", laughter ensues. I work with primarily women ranging from 22 to 50's and one thing I've noticed is if you don't actually SAY the super obvious comment ("omg you mean like a dick?? a hard dick right?? am I right??" - no, fail ass joke) and let their imagination do the work, it's an easy win. You'll fail a few times, but people don't remember two misfires out of ten hits. Also, don't over do it. Accept ONE win in the meeting. Accept ONE win while golfing. Accept ONE win at dinner. Once the scene changes, you can fire a bit more, but don't try to make everything funny. Jokes are funniest when they come from a completely unexpected source.
Fourth, don't care. Don't give a shit if she talks to you, messages you, whatever. Just don't care. If you do care, stop. Don't chase her down right after she talks to you and ask her out. There's nothing more obvious than desperation. If you wreak of it, you may as well just tell her "hey I'm desperate, wanna do dinner so we can fuck?" (that'd actually be pretty damn funny - I wouldn't say not to do that as she'd likely laugh her ass off). I'm not saying just let her go completely out the window, but if she's interested and you've done everything right, she'll let you know. You can start putting some moves on afterward, but you've got to get the early "wins" in first.
Not sure where else to go. A lot of it was theory crafting because I don't exactly know why I get hit on. I kinda just put my personality on paper.
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