This is a question out there for other sucky white belts like me. I weigh 134 pounds and I have three months of experience. The only guys who show up regularly are the blue and purple belts. On top of obviously being way better than me, they are all in the 155-175 pound range. So while I'm really grateful for the opportunity to train in a small school against a group of guys who can really help me, it sucks that I never really get to beat anyone (unless they let me) or even get position on anyone (unless they let me). They are great guys to train with and they give me openings and test me all the time, but it's still really discouraging. I find that it's kind of dulled any killer instinct that I have. The other day a guy all but put himself into a triangle....so I did everything that I could do close the triangle and get the tap, but in the back of my mind I knew that if he really wanted to, he could escape - and so he did. It's even worse when I'm just in guard (top or bottom) or half-guard (top or bottom) because I will try to pass/sweep but I know I'm not going to get it unless the person I'm doing it to decides to let me get one. I'm not saying I'm totally dogging it out there, but I think in a way I focus too much on slowly doing the right thing like we've been shown in drills instead of just exploding and seeing if I can really catch a guy by surprise and power through him. How do you guys deal with this when you are a beginner dealing with a way superior opponent? Do you still give it 100%?