Help Me Understand This (Insane) Recent Encounter With A Female

from 'on the fence' to 'livid'.

something doesn't add up here.
 
ultramanhyata said:
But, again, wouldn't the reasonable thing be to just explain this? As opposed to saying "never contact me again" over one, single, humorous misstep?

And aren't there levels to injecting a word like "vibrator" into a conversation with a girl? Saying "a girl can always use another vibrator" is a lot different than saying something like "Do you like to use a vibrator when you masturbate?" right?

Had I said something like the latter out of the blue in a conversation I could understand a woman being rightly creeped out.
Click to expand...
I get what you're saying and we're all trying to apply logic to this. But her reaction to that comment probably wasn't thought out as much as it was a gut feeling. That intangible creep factor.
 
Am I the only one that lost hard at the nice scented Sagittarius candle from Amazon? I can't be the only one come on guys.
 
I'm just impressed so many posters ITT actually sat there and read all that

<mma4>
 
TS you’re either really creative or a really weird guy
 
Here is your problem TS. She was initially curious about you, but when she hung out with you, she lost interest. If you had made a similar lame joke while in the store where you two met, she would've thought you were funny.

The reason why the other guy can say those derogatory things to her and get away with it is because she still has feelings for him.

It's about context.

The underlying reality is that neither of you are attracted to each other, so don't take her rejection personal. If you want to feel better about yourself, you rejected her first by not making a move on her when she came over.
 
Last edited:
TS,

You fucked up with the joke, you were playing the courting game in fine fashion until your hormones got the better of you when she was having the warm fuzzies about you buying her a gift. She told you that stuff to see if you were some religious zealot who would judge her not, the intent wasn't to invite you to become vulgar (like her married pals) with her when she was close to having a moment with you.

She was hoping to build a relationship with you, and women in that mode are very cautious and waiting for some trait to surface with a new guy being abusive or an asshole. You don't know how long, and how many interactions she had with her other male friends to reach that level of familiarity dude. You overreached yourself. No big deal but learn from it.
 
Last edited:
It would've been even funnier if you said the same thing, but sent her this:
iu
 
Painful to read. You've been MeToo'd, there's no going back from this. Tell one girl to bang herself with a scented candle and you're a pervert for life.
 
ultramanhyata said:
So I was pricing dog food in a supermarket in expectation of potentially buying a puppy for my kids. A girl was picking up some stuff for her own pup. We began to chat. I asked her if she might be willing to give me some tips on housebreaking as I have never done it before. She said sure. We exchanged numbers.

From a physical standpoint this female was not my "type". I am into girly-girls and this woman was more akin to a WMMA fighter. Tatted up and a little tough looking. But she did a nice job with her makeup and had what was obviously a fairly expensive nail job. And she smelled good. So, I guess, sort of a mixed bag.

I never reached out because, again, I had some conflicting feelings about my level of attraction to her. But about a week later she texted me. Just shared some brief, random shit - What she had had for lunch, sent me a pic of her (adorable) dog and a pic of her kids. She asked me if I had bought the puppy yet. I said "no" and that was about it.

Giving the whole thing some more thought I decided to text her the following day. I asked if she would like to come over to my place some night that week to hang out and talk. She said absolutely and showed up two nights later. We had some drinks and became more familiar with one another.

We talked about a range of issues but for the purpose of this post I am only going to share the pertinent piece. In telling me about her job she mentions that there was an older married guy she worked with whose nickname for her was "slutbags". He also called her "whore money" (a play on her name, Harmony). He also shared X rated memes with her on his phone almost daily. She told me how hilarious she found it all. Said she took no offense and was actually planning to eventually go on a fishing trip with this guy and several other men from work. She said she grew up as an army brat and knew how to be "one of the boys".

So, whatever. In my mind she loses points with this. But at least, I think to myself, she's not the kind of crazy, PC chick who is going to run to her HR because a man in her office compliments her dress. Maybe she's too far in the opposite extreme. If nothing else I feel like I have an accurate sense of where her boundaries are.

The evening ended. I made no moves and was not even slightly flirtatious. I was still completely on the fence about wanting to risk opening up that can of worms with this particular girl. Though she did strike me as cool and down to earth. As a thank you for her having come over and provided me with some housebreaking tips I thought it would be nice to give her a little gift. She had told me her astrological sign (which happened to be mine) so I ordered her a nice scented Sagittarius candle from Amazon and had it shipped to her house.

Between the time I ordered the candle and the time it arrived she and I shared a few more texts - about our kids, our schedules, the shut down, etc. She sent me some pics of her house and her backyard. She sent me some pics of a new smoker she had bought and a bunch of ribs she was soaking in preparation for it.

Anyway, the day she gets the candle she texts me and writes: Thank you so much for the gift. It's perfect. You are so thoughtful.

Attempting to deflect from the praise I decide to inject some levity: You're welcome. A girl can always use another vibrator. lol

She replies with what I assumed was a confusion emoji.

I write: Does the candle smell as good as the description made it sound?

She replies: I don't know. I haven't lit it yet.

But then I hear nothing else from her. A couple days later I text her and ask if she is free to meet me in the park that afternoon for a walk. No reply. I call her and get her voicemail and leave a brief message a couple hours later. She never texts or calls me back.

The next day I do get a text from her: I want to let you know that I intentionally did not respond to you yesterday. I found your text to me about the gift disturbing. It really creeped me out. I don't know whatever gave you the idea that you could say something like that to me. Please respect that I no longer want to communicate with you. Please do not call or text me in the future.

I replied: So the woman who thinks being called "slutbags" and "whore money" is hysterical was offended by a vibrator joke? Whatever. Enjoy your candle.

I cannot tell you HOW LIVID I am over this. (Maybe the fact I am making this long fucking post about it is the evidence.) NO WOMAN in my adult life has EVER accused me of being even slightly inappropriate - much less creepy to the point that they somehow feared interaction with me. I simply cannot wrap my head around this. I just can't let it go.

Can anyone out there shed light? Any insights from the men of the Berry? Thanks for letting me unload.
Click to expand...
She thought you were different, and was interested, and you proved her wrong with that completely inappropriate and off base candle vibrator comment.

way to go.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Latest posts

Forum statistics

Threads
1,282,566
Messages
58,447,558
Members
176,040
Latest member
ValeTudoPrideUFC

Share this page

Back
Top