Help Me Understand This (Insane) Recent Encounter With A Female

[TKing]

Multiple times its mentioned you weren't attracted to her but you invited her over, bought her a gift, and made a very oddly timed dirty joke? Lots of mistakes on your part, if she gets treated weird by the other guys she probably enjoyed that you were normal up until that point.

 

[ultramanhyata]

I guess the Berry has changed. Back in the day one could have some semi-serious, informative relationship discussions.

Also for the illiterates - This isn't about having a broken heart. It's about having my reputation disparaged.

 

[drstrangelov]

That was a really unfortunate comment. For one thing, it doesn’t even make sense, for another the context of your discussion did not really allow for a safe turn to vulgar sexual discussion. It still would have been salvageable in a couple ways, either blaming weird autocorrect, or admitting you misread her sense of humor. Still, that was a dumb thing to say.

 

[Lovestorm]

Maybe asking how the candle smells after being used as a vibrator was a bad idea.

 

[ultramanhyata]

Multiple times its mentioned you weren't attracted to her but you invited her over, bought her a gift, and made a very oddly timed dirty joke? Lots of mistakes on your part, if she gets treated weird by the other guys she probably enjoyed that you were normal up until that point.

You sound like someone who has no female friends. I don't only hang out with women I want to sleep with. I have female buddies who joke about vibrators and dildos regularly. It's 2020, bro.

 

[TKing]

You sound like someone who has no female friends. I don't only hang out with women I want to sleep with. I have female buddies who joke about vibrators and dildos regularly. It's 2020, bro.

I actually have mostly female friends, but I havent had to make a thread wondering how I creep them out so yea.

 

[Shael]

Dis Marty Byrd-ass niga. Lol. Come on, dude. All your interactions with her you gave her a vibe that you wanted to keep it platonic. Then you blindside her by texting her a dirty joke without any kind of flirting beforehand. I know in your head it was funny but it set off her creep radar. Oh well. You had enough game to get her to come over, so just call it a bad day at practice.

 

[youngsteinel]

You seem to be downplaying how much you liked her. But either way, it sounds like she is a hot/cold type, so it's just onto the next one at this point.

 

[panamaican]

She told you about being demeaned sexually by other guys to get you thinking about her sexually. Those guys don't bother her because she doesn't really care what they think and they have a pre-existing relationship. But she doesn't want to you to sexualize her because she wants you to see her and treat her as a respectable upstanding woman. When you sexualized the dynamic, it made her feel demeaned in a way that the other people didn't.

Sort of like telling your boss about how you and your boys joke about banging each others wives and then your boss makes a joke about banging your wife. If you're not prepared for it, it can seem like your boss is crossing a line that you haven't let him cross yet. Yet to your boss, the fact that you mentioned it at all seems like the line has been crossed.

So, it's a misunderstanding based on perspective. She doesn't think she opened the door to that type of joke but you do. Honestly, I agree with you but I understand how she doesn't.

 

[steve38]

She friend-zoned you because you didn't bang her...thats why the dirty talk weirded her out. She's probably banging the old guy at work. After all, she's slutbags.

 

[ultramanhyata]

Dis Marty Byrd-ass niga. Lol. Come on, dude. All your interactions with her you gave her a vibe that you wanted to keep it platonic. Then you blindside her by texting her a dirty joke without any kind of flirting beforehand. I know in your head it was funny but it set off her creep radar. Oh well. You had enough game to get her to come over, so just call it a bad day at practice.

So you think a girl who goes out of her way to tell me how funny it is when a guy at work calls her "slutbags" and "whore money" shouldn't reasonably be considered a girl who can handle a vibrator joke?

 

[eighterumg5]

Where's the pics of the backyard?

 

[minute bull]

I don't know what her problem is, honestly. I mean.

 

[Pizza Werewolf]

Yeah I’m confused how he goes from candle to vibrator.

Maybe she fucked the candle?

 

[Shael]

So you think a girl who goes out of her way to tell me how funny it is when a guy at work calls her "slutbags" and "whore money" shouldn't reasonably be considered a girl who can handle a vibrator joke?

She can handle a vibrator joke and probably a lot more. Problem is it didn't come from one of her ball-breaking coworkers. It came from a guy she's only friendly with and based on your post hadn't gone anywhere sexual with her (jokingly or otherwise). You just made a leap too far without knowing her well enough. It happens.

 

[ultramanhyata]

She told you about being demeaned sexually by other guys to get you thinking about her sexually. Those guys don't bother her because she doesn't really care what they think and they have a pre-existing relationship. But she doesn't want to you to sexualize her because she wants you to see her and treat her as a respectable upstanding woman. When you sexualized the dynamic, it made her feel demeaned in a way that the other people didn't.

Sort of like telling your boss about how you and your boys joke about banging each others wives and then your boss makes a joke about banging your wife. If you're not prepared for it, it can seem like your boss is crossing a line that you haven't let him cross yet. Yet to your boss, the fact that you mentioned it at all seems like the line has been crossed.

So, it's a misunderstanding based on perspective. She doesn't think she opened the door to that type of joke but you do. Honestly, I agree with you but I understand how she doesn't.

Thanks. Appreciate the serious reply, Pan.

I guess it doesn't really explain the overreaction, though. Had she said (reasonably) "your joke offended me" that would have been one thing. But the whole "I'm scared. Never call or text me again" strikes me as borderline psycho.

 

[CrimsonFan]

Man lol.

Alright obviously the girl wanted to bang you.. that's why she let you get a legit number and came over to your house.

She leads you on with all sorts of comments, including that she is known as slutbag at work.

She wanted to fuck, you probably left her feeling like shit when you never made a move. She continues to text to you, even after you buy her a gift..

Dude her whole office knows shez a whore you dont need to buy her a gift. This isnt some girl you met at church.

She still wants you... that's actually kind of impressive you must have some game.


Then you make a really weird dumb comment. So she stops talking to you, and unlike most girls she actually has the guts to tell you why


And you just totally break down. Man rejection makes you stronger not every girl wants to fuck you. This one did.

My advise, stop being such a bitch you should have made a move. After you have sex with someone you can possibly tell them the candle you bought them is a vibrater or whatever..
And they've had a taste and will not be as creeped out by your dumbass text. Which everyone does. Sometimes you say or do things without thinking it happens.


.

 

[ultramanhyata]

She can handle a vibrator joke and probably a lot more. Problem is it didn't come from one of her ball-breaking coworkers. It came from a guy she's only friendly with and based on your post hadn't gone anywhere sexual with her (jokingly or otherwise). You just made a leap too far without knowing her well enough. It happens.

But, again, wouldn't the reasonable thing be to just explain this? As opposed to saying "never contact me again" over one, single, humorous misstep?

And aren't there levels to injecting a word like "vibrator" into a conversation with a girl? Saying "a girl can always use another vibrator" is a lot different than saying something like "Do you like to use a vibrator when you masturbate?" right?

Had I said something like the latter out of the blue in a conversation I could understand a woman being rightly creeped out.

 

[JOE QUEEF]

[QUOTE="ultramanhyata, post: 160095076, member: 308653]But the whole "I'm scared. Never call or text me again" strikes me as borderline psycho.[/QUOTE]

Struck you? YOU? Not her. You...

 

[Curmudgeon]

Lol, my god you're as clueless irl as you are online.