Help I think I'm getting divorced

[Revolver]

1st step is to start banging new sluts. Congrats.

 

[GSP_37]

Can you hide your assets and change all account numbers and passwords?

 

[gonads20]

Go on the offense. Hire a lawyer and get all of your money out of any joint accounts. This is now war because as soon as she gets to a lawyer he or she will plant a bunch of nonsense into her head that she was a victim and that she deserves all this and the kids should be hers but you should pay for the kids because you have a penis.

This is when it gets ugly but you can come out on top.

 

[D Train]

Do divorces ever end “well”? Honest question.

 

[LukeSkyrocker]

1st step?

Don’t get divorced.

Did you not declare vows to one another at your wedding? Did you promise “in good times and in bad”?

Don’t listen to this guy

 

[Stargazer Rex]

At least you guys don't own property.

 

[Law Talkin’ Guy]

Irl divorce lawyer checking in.

1. Get a lawyer

2. Pepper your angus. If she’s been making “next to nothing” and you’ve been together at least 13 years you’re almost certainly going to get stuck paying alimony for several years to come.

3. Try to get along as best as you can. I always tell my clients that they need to try to tolerate their ex spouses if there are any children, because you’ll have to be a part of each other’s lives for the rest of your lives, it doesn’t end when the kids turn 18. You’ll have to see your ex at your kid’s wedding. You’ll have to see your ex at your grandchildren’s birthday parties.

4. Try to settle quickly. The longer things drag out the more it will cost you.

 

[salamander]

Welcome to the club!

Life might be difficult at first, but trust me, once the callouses start to properly form around your heart (If they aren't there yet, they'll come. Give her time.) and the noose tightens around your wallet, you'll grow to enjoy this new chapter.

But whatever you do, don't go on a three day bender with three different types of drugs and then start drinking after the three day bender with no sleep and food and start writing emails to her... because those six-cop "wellness checks" can get hairy...especially when they aren't sure if you have a gun that you were just holding for a friend.

Good Luck!

 

[MadSquabbles500]

Does the stepson hate your guts?

 

[HARRISON_3]

The relationship is over start bringing strange hunks home even if she is there.

Good call!

 

[Alphaboy]

Do divorces ever end “well”? Honest question.

I hear some people have divorce parties and the divorces are pretty amicable... Dumbest shit I heard though.

 

[Mike]

Do divorces ever end “well”? Honest question.

 

[loyalyolayal]

Make it look like an elaborate accident involving 2 bears, a seal, chinese finger traps, a nail gun and a ball of yarn.

 

[IloveTHIS]

I hope this goes better for you than it does for 99% of men.

Shes a female, so theres a possibility of you owning her 10x your yearly salary in alimony

 

[Merlotte's]

Good call!

Black's on blondes FTW!

 

[MassDistortion]

Push her down the stairs.

 

[Smok3r]

Ok captain save a ho. Better hope the other person doesn't say fuck it, I don't care about the vows one day.

Are you calling TS’s wife a “ho”?

Pipe down, boy. You know nothing about marriage, and you’re not impressing anyone with your Mr. Cool Guy ignorant nonsense.

 

[Smok3r]

Damn, 10yrs like that? I guess you stayed because of your daughter?

No way you can work it out?

Oh snap, this ninja above me is really ripskater.

No, I am not @ripskater. You guys aren’t worthy of having Thee @ripskater on this forum!

 

[HARRISON_3]

Black's on blondes FTW!

 

[Pittie Petey]

1. Be assertive
2. Get a lawyer
3. Clearly state what you want and make sure it's realistic
4. Begrudgingly agree to equitable terms of monetary disbursement
5. End the relationship as the "good guy"



6. Cyanide

Seems like you've thought about this before