Help, dealing with a douche bag

jaymitchnj

jaymitchnj

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I'm sure we all encounter some douche bag at our gyms. He is typically new, uses 200% of his strength and 0% technique. So I let him take my back, did not let him put either hook in and escaped but he proceeded to try to choke me when he did not have the choke, instead his forearm was across my face/nose region. I turned away from the choke and proceeded to drop a little forearm/elbow of my own on his face and neck area until he let go.

So, how do you deal with these type of characters? I want to teach them, but I also don't want to roll with kids like this.

Argh, so frustrated tonight!
 
I avoid them. Waste of my time rolling with them.
 
Is he a wrestler? The difference between a noob wrestler and someone who is a "real" noob is quite drastic. Wrestlers are used to practicing at about 95% of full speed and we have been trained to use whatever we've got, including strength. However, someone who is completely new to grappling will be using every ounce of strength they can muster. You might not actually feel that strength because they simply haven't got the leverage down yet. In any case, remember that everyone was a noob at some point including you, me, and all the other sherdoggers. A possibility is that you could have a little conversation about practice etiquette and explain to him that rolling is a time to practice technique. Since he's new, he won't have much technique to begin with. Think of him as a "project" instead of a douche and he'll thank you in the end.
 
So he was pulling the ol face/jaw lock nonsense when he couldn't get the choke?

That's pretty douchish, and the only thing you can really do is sit down with him and talk to him about what is acceptable and what isn't in training. Either that or just don't let him get your back, and steamroll him and tap him till he calms down. Or maybe bust out a good face lock/neck crank when you have his back. Give him a taste of his own medicine.

Also, if you want to get back at him without being a d-bag yourself, just get the 'teabag N/S' position, and stall. Hook the arm like you're going to kimura him, but just sit there with your ass and balls on his face until he taps.
 
jaymitchnj said:
I'm sure we all encounter some douche bag at our gyms. He is typically new, uses 200% of his strength and 0% technique. So I let him take my back, did not let him put either hook in and escaped but he proceeded to try to choke me when he did not have the choke, instead his forearm was across my face/nose region. I turned away from the choke and proceeded to drop a little forearm/elbow of my own on his face and neck area until he let go.

So, how do you deal with these type of characters? I want to teach them, but I also don't want to roll with kids like this.

Argh, so frustrated tonight!
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You deal with it just the way you did. If they go ruff and you cant smoke em quick, then you get ruff too.

You should appreciate it really. Far too much 'routine' after a while.
 
Just submit them repeatedly until they get frustrated and ask what they're doing wrong...

Then tell them.
 
Avoid rolling with him again....you will not learn anything from rolling with him and may in fact get yourself (or both of you)injured. There are always these types of people at every place who do not know how to leave their egos outside the dojo.
 
Thanks everyone for the valid suggestions, I will take all of it into consideration when (if) I roll with him next.

Especially the guy who said I should teabag him in N/S :)
 
when your rolling with someone you dont know, dont take them so lightly. That was your first mistake i think.

when i roll with someone for the first time, its not that i go hard, but i make sure to be super carefull as to not get hurt. Once I know how they roll, everything changes.

Thats why i would never give my back to someone who I dont know, i dont think thats the smartest decision.
 
To be fair, sometimes the douche bags don't realize that they're being douche bags. I rolled with a guy tonight who's about 230 to my 150 and when he was in my guard, he was constantly trying to cross face with his forearm into my jaw; grunting, huffing, and puffing the time.

I kept cross collar choking him and after the roll was over, I told him politely that he needed to calm down. He looked at me like he really didn't understand and said, "but I am calm."

I asked, "Then why are you grunting and trying to smash me like a bull that just saw red?"

"Was I?"

"Yep. Did you notice that I never tensed up? I just stayed calm and choked you while you were going 110 miles an hour."

He honestly didn't realize that he was spazzing around. Even though he was rolling like a wild animal, he thought he was being calm.
 
I think you did the right thing. Try to avoid rolling with people like that if you can help it, and if not just protect yourself as much as possible-we all know people who are total noobs can spazz out and start twisting and yanking on stuff out of the blue.

But if you get with someone who tries to rough you up, don't take that shit, you rough 'em up right back. Eventually they will figure it out.
 
Yeah, I think a gentle word is appropriate, especially for wrestlers. My first day, I got side control on a guy and used my chin in his chest for control. It's classic pinning technique with no stigma in wrestling. He got mad, starting chinning my in my jaw, and the teacher told us to cool off. Once I was aware of the etiquette, I never did it again, and that guy is now one of my favorite rolling partners. It's better, though, to go over basic rolling etiquette before you start rolling.

I do hate guys, however, who, when you're light rolling them, giving them position, letting them work submission attempts, or whatever, insist on trying to grind you. For some guys, it's not ignorance, it's just their style, and those guys you're better off avoiding.
 
Uh huh. If I give you side control, please do not try to twist my face off.
 
Sometimes I get amazed at a forum of tough guys that won't speak up.

"Dude, just to let you know, we try not to grind or tweak subs in if we don't get them properly. It makes training everyday easier so you don't get so banged up"

Odds are he might not know any better. Alot of guys come in and are intimidated and don't want to come off as soft or slackers. They, in turn, over do it. But just casually mention it to them and it should be fine. Only then if they don't wise up, follow the advice to stay away.
 
Cojofl said:
I avoid them. Waste of my time rolling with them.
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I agree. Talking to them about calming down is def the first thing to do, I always explain to people that, that type of shit does nothing besides piss off the guy your rolling against. I'm only 160 so most of the guys I roll with are bigger than me. If someone is being a dick, when I get a submission, I crank it. Or I hold the choke just a lil bit longer haha. Someone has to teach them some respect. I'm a really chill laid back dude but some people need to get beat up a bit before they learn to calm down.
 
I love these guys. It's good experience. They get a bad rap online.

Their rate of turnover is probably 10x a normal beginner, their rate of injury is probably 10x a normal beginner, and even without a physical injury the ego is destroyed and they never come back. I try to take advantage of the opportunity.

Obviously this changes if they are skilled, but everyone I've ever rolled with who goes 110% on something like a can opener from guard has been a total moron. I treat them the same as when I roll with guys who show up to open mat with no experience (not visitors from other gyms) or desire to pay to join. I'm not going to be nice or decide to work on escapes and give them the false impression that they "done did real good against them wrasslin' fruits."
 
jasond said:
To be fair, sometimes the douche bags don't realize that they're being douche bags. I rolled with a guy tonight who's about 230 to my 150 and when he was in my guard, he was constantly trying to cross face with his forearm into my jaw; grunting, huffing, and puffing the time.

I kept cross collar choking him and after the roll was over, I told him politely that he needed to calm down. He looked at me like he really didn't understand and said, "but I am calm."

I asked, "Then why are you grunting and trying to smash me like a bull that just saw red?"

"Was I?"

"Yep. Did you notice that I never tensed up? I just stayed calm and choked you while you were going 110 miles an hour."

He honestly didn't realize that he was spazzing around. Even though he was rolling like a wild animal, he thought he was being calm.
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I agree with this post. Personally i have been coaching and teaching for the past 5 years and im training almost 9. I have faced this problem maaaaaany times.
I think training with guys like this helps keeping things real becouse they are unpredictable and since we train martial arts is important to expect the unexpected and new guys do unexpected things. Since im teaching, avoiding anyone is not an option i have to be able to roll with as many people as possible... You have no idea how big pain in the ass is when you have a 220 pounds new guy with freakish strenght that everybody avoids becouse most are smaller and don't want to get injured and then i have to roll with him.. again and again hahahaha and im around 145 pounds. Still i believe that people like this help you keeping things real though you need to be carefull not to get injured. After training i always say to people like that to take it easy and relax and try thinking about technique... usually just saying it is the first step, it takes time for people like that to understand the term "RELAX". If you are a student you can avoid rolling with him if you don't want to risk having a bloody nose a tear or muscle spasms, or a black eye. But if you want to teach you can't avoid him you have to show him the right way and have patience.... LOTS and LOTS of patience....
 
you mean i cant cross-face someone's nose off once i start bjj? ):
 
FLMikeATT said:
So he was pulling the ol face/jaw lock nonsense when he couldn't get the choke?



Also, if you want to get back at him without being a d-bag yourself, just get the 'teabag N/S' position, and stall. Hook the arm like you're going to kimura him, but just sit there with your ass and balls on his face until he taps.
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OMG! LOL! I was wondering nobody actually kimura'd me my first week, they were being polite.
 
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