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Having THE TALK with your instructor

Discussion in 'Grappling Technique' started by the_Dark Knight, Oct 29, 2010.

  1. the_Dark Knight

    the_Dark Knight Purple Belt

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    By THE TALK I mean telling them your switching academies. I have recently decided to leave my school of 2 1/2 years the reason mainly due to distance issues and family responsibilties. (it takes about 50Mins with traffic to get there plus I have to take a toll both both ways and use three freeways and well getti g home at ten isn't cutting it). I've talked to him about the distance before biut now I'm switchin and the pla e is way closer. I feel nervous for some reason and was wonderi g when is the best time to tell him? Before or after class? How should I bring it up? I'm due to make my next payement in about 2 wks should I stay w him another mth out of respect for him or end before? Thanks for the input.
     
  2. chino3

    chino3 Purple Belt

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    save money and get a new keyboard
     
  3. Wow Exuberant**

    Wow Exuberant** Banned Banned

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    I'd just tell him the situation ASAP, and tell him you'll ride out your membership till it ends in 2 weeks. I'm sure he'll be understanding. Be polite about it.
     
  4. Threetrees

    Threetrees The Voice of Reason

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    Make sure if it gets emotional you say "It's not you, it's me"
     
  5. 879lexus

    879lexus Blue Belt

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    This.......It's not rocket science...Just tell him. He may try to convice you to stay, but it sounds like your mind is made up...so hold your ground and be respectful.... 2 weeks notice is more than enough...
     
  6. esl21

    esl21 Orange Belt

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    Your reason is totally legitimate. I mean you are only acting out of love for Jiu-Jitsu in general. If your instructor is a man who loves Jiu-Jitsu (you probably know the answer to that) then he will understand.
     
  7. Bathwater

    Bathwater Let me clean you with my love

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    I had the sex talk with my instructor as well. It was weird because I was 27 and honestly didn't know him very well. He also insisted we both wear vale tudo shorts and he was in full mount the whole time. We were also in the back of his van. And the water he gave tasted funny and I fell asleep.

    I walk funny now.
     
  8. the_Dark Knight

    the_Dark Knight Purple Belt

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    I'm typing on a blackberry it sucks. I hate this fucking phone.
     
  9. the_Dark Knight

    the_Dark Knight Purple Belt

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    Oh another thing... Were having a seminar and promotion this wkend and I MAY be getting a stripe. Would it look bad if I got one and turned right around and told him I'm leaving?

    Also when changing schools the GI I use has my team patches should I buy new one now out of respect for the new academy?
     
  10. Podgorny

    Podgorny Green Belt

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    Did he at least pin a dollar to your rash guard? If not, its time to find a new instructor homie.
     
  11. SuperSuperRambo

    SuperSuperRambo Senior Moderator Senior Moderator

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    Tell him before the contract expires. Maybe at a time that you don't have class, and when he's not teaching but in the academy. If there is no time like that, then after class is probably the way to go. You have legitimate reasons.
     
  12. Gerbiljiujitsu

    Gerbiljiujitsu Purple Belt

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    dont worry about the stripe. Just let him know ASAP.
     
  13. knoxpk

    knoxpk Black Belt

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    I was thinking the SAME thing, the old "It's not you speech.."
     
  14. Wandgun

    Wandgun Orange Belt

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    I don't understand the big deal. I don't mean to be a jerk, but what can he say?
     
  15. cartwheelpass

    cartwheelpass White Belt

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    I just did this recently too. I was no longer feeling happy at my old club and needed a new training environment. I just told my instructor as respectfully as possible as to what I've decided. As much as he may try to keep you, it is your decision in the very end. You pay him or her for their knowledge. Be honest, give the truth, shake hands and move on. I had the anxiety attacks too but it turned out to be just fine.

    I moved onto a different club and I'm quite happy with what I did. I left some good training partners behind but remember you have to do what is good for you. It is silly to endure years of unhappy training when you can go somewhere else and enjoy jiu jitsu as you are supposed to.

    Hope that helps!
     
  16. Hellboy31

    Hellboy31 Brown Belt

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    I'd probably start with "i love you but I'm not in love with you"

    That's usually worked well for me in the past
     
  17. redaxe

    redaxe Silver Belt

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    If you told him you were leaving RIGHT after getting the stripe yes it would be pretty tacky. But if he was going to promote you anyway, there's no reason why he should get mad about it. Knowing that you're leaving will probably make him not give you the stripe, though.

    If you change teams, take your old team's patches off right away. Train at your new place for a couple weeks to make sure you like it, and then ask the instructor if you can buy his patches.
     
  18. Fred in Houston

    Fred in Houston Blue Belt

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    Travis will be ok with it and will totally understand the distance thing. He'll, he's had guys switch to other schools for way retarded reasons and he still doesn't dislike them. You have to do quite a bit wrong to make him mad at you and switching schools to be able to continue to train around family/work/school stuff is the last thing he'd get mad about. Good luck to you.
     
  19. nerraw

    nerraw White Belt

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    Is leaving an academy such a big deal in other academies/ martial arts?
     
  20. Balto

    Balto Silver Belt

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    I don't think it's a big deal, but it is generally the same amount of deal in other martial arts.
     

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