Well most of the people I am rolling with are not at my skill level, they are above it. Most of the guys newer than me don't stay for open mat time. So I've really only been free rolling with 3 people on a regular basis.
One has about 2 months more training than I do, so he's closest to my level, but he learns fairly quickly. We're about the same size but he has better sense of position and escapes than I do. I have noticed a marked improvement against him, the first time I rolled with him he just threw me around like I was nothing, and lately I have been lasting much longer against him and have gotten close to some subs but not actually finished. He loves to use kimuras and americanas, which I haven't been taught to defend against really other than keeping my arms in which is an issue for me that I am working on.
The second is a guy who's been training for probably at least a year, maybe more. I believe he is a blue belt but I rarely seem him come to the gi class, he's competed before and done pretty well. He's about 15 lbs heavier than me and right now he just wipes the floor with me.
And the third guy I doubt I'll ever come close to beating. Purple belt, about half a foot taller than me and outweighs me by at least 70-80 lbs, and he's not fat either. Mostly I just roll with him to practice from certain positions or to drill in real(er) time with some resistance against me. Also it's nice to try out things on a heavy guy to see if I can actually pull them off.
So I mean, it's not that I suck terribly and can't tap a newbie or something, I'm just always sparring with people above my level. I'm sure if I rolled with the two girls that came in last week I could tap them all day (that.. doesn't sound right).
Obviously, I'm not worried about losing in a tourny, I know I would just get destroyed. I think it might be a good learning experience, and like you guys said it would be nice to be able to go all out on someone. I do have that issue in classes, that I'm friends with the people I roll with so when I try subs or anything I suppose subconsciously I am not sinking them with full speed or pressure. I don't feel the adrenaline or any fear of getting hurt so I guess I don't put in my full potential, which is wrong.
Mainly, I want to compete to learn, but I don't want to pay the competition fees to be submitted in the first 30 seconds, because I won't learn anything from that.