Today was my 1st day in the ER as a student doctor. It's my first year in the actual hospital and I have been just learning the ins and outs of taking a patient history, physical examination and applying the knowledge I learned. Today I was just expecting orientation and a tour around the ER then I thought the attending would let us out early. Instead, my colleagues and I were thrown right into the action. My first task was to take an H&P (history and physical) of a patient but she refused to talk to a student doctor so after a few minutes of standing around, the attending got a call over the loudspeaker to the Resus unit. He told me to follow him there to see the patient. For those who do not know what the Resus unit is, it is the part of the ER that is reserved for those who are in the most critical conditions. Upon entering the small room enclosed only by curtains on each side, I see one nurse and another more junior doctor trying to stabilize the patient and get an ABG. Within the first few minutes, the attending receives the ECG and asks me to tell him what I see. The patient has a heart rate of 128 and AF with right axial deviation. He tells me he is going to give the patient Furosemide to decrease the pre-load on the heart and he then talks through medical management of patients with atrial fibrillation. As he prepares to put an IV cannula in, the patient turns cold and becomes unresponsive. The next step was to get a BiPAP machine to hyperinflate the lungs to squeeze the heart to possibly try to increase contractility (Starling mechanism). The BiPAP machine gets wheeled in and as the nurse and doctors are trying to put the mask on, the patient turns white. The two doctors start CPR and yell at me to time 2 min intervals where they re-assess vital signs. I'm completely frozen at this point and don't really know what to do, so I just stand there. 3 more nurses and 3 more doctors come in to try to resuscitate this patient but after about 5 rounds of CPR, the team leader calls it and records the time of death. After everyone disperses, the attending comes up to me and asks me if I'm alright. I say, "yeah." and I continue to help with rounds for the next 3 hours. I was fine until a few hours ago when I started thinking about what happened so I drank a glass of wine, almost threw up, and now my left hand is shaking. TLDR: I saw a patient die on my first day in the ER. Have you ever seen a person die? How did you feel? For those who have seen a person die, how did you deal with it?