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Guy advice- Is this girl just stringing me along?

Gunny said:
I favor the incremental approach. My advise to you is to change your goal. Instead of trying to get her to have sex with you, when you're fooling around make you goal to get her completely naked before you take of a single stitch of your own clothing - not even your shoes. This may take time and patience but if you accomplish it you will have completely turned the tables in your direction and built yourself a devoted nympho in the process.
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gloxx said:
Been dating this girl for 3 weeks. She's fun, really good looking. But since then, no sex. Make out, feel her up, never got any further. She throws out hints she wants to have sex all the time. Last week she even said specifically we would have sex soon while we were fooling around at her apt

Anyway she asked me to be her bf today. I was like ok.. expecting to finally get some when we were in a relationship.

But NOPE... later today she started asking me about what kind of position I like.. etc. Then mentioned that she wanted to wait a while! Psh, I don't want to be in a committed relationship where I swear myself to celibacy. I could kinda tolerate it while we weren't officially a couple, and I could meet other women. But I'm not a monk and I don't intend to be. I'm not looking for a booty call.. but damn. My ex put out first night. I've never waited this long around for a woman. Feels bad man.

She keeps throwing me hints she wants to do it, but then backs off at the last minute. She just stringing me along? We go on pricy dates too.. I pay most all of the time. I don't want to get used either.
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it seems that you are not being aggressive enough when it comes to sex.

she's giving you all these hints in the hopes that you'll finally take control of the situation and actually have sex.

from my own experience, it's very rare for a girl to initiate sex with a guy for the first time. men are always (at least in my opinion) supposed to initiate the progress when the lead-up to sex is concerned.
 
Linkuei said:
My first thought was maybe she saving herself for marriage.
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it doesn't sound like it to me. this chick wouldn't be hinting the idea of sex if she wasn't interested.

nice av, by the way. :D
 
gloxx said:
no she is not. she's into me physically...she wants to kiss and fool around all the time. she went after me not knowing how much i make. im not rich.. but i make a healthy income. close to 100k. good for a guy in his twenties.
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I was expecting you to be in high school.
 
IIIIIIII said:
it seems that you are not being aggressive enough when it comes to sex.

she's giving you all these hints in the hopes that you'll finally take control of the situation and actually have sex.

from my own experience, it's very rare for a girl to initiate sex with a guy for the first time. men are always (at least in my opinion) supposed to initiate the progress when the lead-up to sex is concerned.
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even my wife refused to initiate sex, and that was after we'd been together for many years.
 
cooks1 said:
That's an admirable goal, but TS needs to learn to walk before he runs. If you have not even tried to go through the front door, and made an honest, legit attempt to actually insert a penis into something, you probably need try that before attempting other things. He just needs to be a little more decisive. I would bet dollars to doughnuts he has not even tried to take her pants off yet. If you go to take a chicks pants off, and she lets you, that is a pretty clear indication things are headed the right direction. Not 100% obviously, but your odds are pretty fucking good.
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You may be right about her willingness at that point. That said my post was more about what he should do than what he could do. If he knows what he's doing manually (an important assumption) then the opportunity is probably there to turn the girl into gelatin before she's ever taken her pants off. All girls I've ever been involved with will allow this to happen with any guy they trust enough to be alone with in a dark room. It's low commitment on their part and allows them to receive pleasure without feeling like a slut. If he does this for her several times she will be more than ready to have sex but he shouldn't do it - not yet. Not until he's conditioned her to the point where she's totally comfortable being bare ass naked in front of him, while he's still fully dressed, ready and willing to accept whatever he's got for her.
 
gloxx said:
Been dating this girl for 3 weeks. She's fun, really good looking. But since then, no sex. Make out, feel her up, never got any further. She throws out hints she wants to have sex all the time. Last week she even said specifically we would have sex soon while we were fooling around at her apt

Anyway she asked me to be her bf today. I was like ok.. expecting to finally get some when we were in a relationship.

But NOPE... later today she started asking me about what kind of position I like.. etc. Then mentioned that she wanted to wait a while! Psh, I don't want to be in a committed relationship where I swear myself to celibacy. I could kinda tolerate it while we weren't officially a couple, and I could meet other women. But I'm not a monk and I don't intend to be. I'm not looking for a booty call.. but damn. My ex put out first night. I've never waited this long around for a woman. Feels bad man.

She keeps throwing me hints she wants to do it, but then backs off at the last minute. She just stringing me along? We go on pricy dates too.. I pay most all of the time. I don't want to get used either.
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First mistake you're making is listening to what she's saying about sex. Females don't know what they want so asking them about sex is pretty pointless. I've had girls give it up who said they were saving themselves for marriage. I've had girls who acted like freaks deny me. Body language is a much better indicator for sex than the words coming out of her mouth. Don't ask about sex, do. Make the first move physically and keep going until she stops you.

10 dates in 3 weeks? 3-4 dates a week? You're doing this waaaaay too fast. Slow you're roll and stop coming off as so eager. The amount of money you're spending is also an indication of being too eager.

So my advice is, cut the dates to 1-2 times a week. Limit the texting/phone conversation as much as you can. And start taking her on casual outings instead of expensive dates. Homecooked meal, go on a hike together, take her bowling, etc. And don't ask about sex, just initiate it. If she keeps turning you down, then you can ask but don't come off as eager.
 
EgonSpengler said:
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Exactly what I was thinking the whole time lol. I would suggest you just wait until she's ready and stop being a whiny pathetic lecherous bitch. But that's just me, and I'm in fucking grade school.
 
Bolshevik said:
a couple of good things about virgins:

  • don't have to worry about std's
  • they'll believe whatever you tell them
  • you don't have to worry about breaking any bad habits
  • you can teach them to do whatever you like

now if you're lucky, you can find an experienced girl who already does everything you like, but that's a hit or miss.
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QFT. i have been with my high school sweet heart for 5 years so whhen we first met we were both virgins. the first time we had sex it was horrible lol but now shes an expert. best of all there is no emotional baggage from past lovers
 
Lustercross said:
QFT. i have been with my high school sweet heart for 5 years so whhen we first met we were both virgins. the first time we had sex it was horrible lol but now shes an expert. best of all there is no emotional baggage from past lovers
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another huge plus.
 
Gunny said:
conditioned her to the point where she's totally comfortable being bare ass naked in front of him, while he's still fully dressed, ready and willing to accept whatever he's got for her.
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I agree with what you are saying, I just don't think you are being completely honest about it's degree of difficulty.

What you are talking about here is actually setting the sexual tempo of a chick. Literally educating them. I would not necessarily call that 'high level' antics, but it is certainly mid to upper mid level from a knowledge and skill perspective. A dude is going to have a hard time doing that if he is still a student himself, so to speak. He won't have the necessary confidence, comfort level, and most critically, patience necessary to pull it off.

In a perfect world, a person (man or woman) would have a considerate partner with considerably more sexual experience earlier on in their sexual life. I know that benefited me tremendously. I was just running around looking for any hole to put my dick in until I was 20. Then an amazing woman completely opened up my world.

Unfortunately, it does not always work out that way. In this case, you have 2 people that are both pretty inexperienced. And that is certainly workable. But they are just gonna both have to muddle through until they figure it out. And that whole thing becomes exponentially easier once the guy actually get his penis into a vagina a few times. The confidence and comfort level for both of them will grow several orders of magnitude after that. Before you know it, they will need safe words.

 
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Bolshevik said:
another huge plus.
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Heck yeah. before her i dated this other girl and it seemed that she culd not get over her asshole ex. Even tho it didnt feel like that at the moment, her dumping me was the best thing that happened to me lol
 
Lustercross said:
Heck yeah. before her i dated this other girl and it seemed that she culd not get over her asshole ex. Even tho it didnt feel like that at the moment, her dumping me was the best thing that happened to me lol
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the worst types of girls (when you're young) are the ones who just broke up with their boyfriends, who happened to be the first guys they had sex with.
 
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