First date horror stories

One time in High school......well, I was feeling alone and desperate, so I decided to take out one of the sluttiest girls in school. Everybody was hitting it and getting some with her. Normally, I wasn't the type that participated in such things, but I was feeling low and said why not...........

Well, I took her to a party, got her good and drunk and figured, this thing was in the bag.....I drover her up to make out point to handle business..........

I learn into her to make my move when she tells me.....I promised myself I wasn't going to be like that anymore, Im sorry..........

SHUT DOWN.......................................................

The End........
 
Ha, that was pretty good. I have one that's sort of similar.

I met this girl online. She's was good looking in her pictures. I got her to send me some nudes. She had gigantic knockers. I can't remember her size but I remember some of my other girlfriends telling me that that size didn't even exist. She lived a couple hours away and I didn't have a car at the time so she said she would come to me. The next day she texted me telling me that she was on her way but her car was broke so she was having her friend drive her. It was a man friend. Once I met him I realized he was one of those poor friend zoned chaps. I can't imagine why he agreed to drive her, maybe he thought he could **** block me. Also, I can't understand why she thought it was a good idea have this guy drive her. I could've waited for her car to be fixed.

They arrive, she's fatter than in her pictures. She has a pretty face though and those tits were real so I was still down. I took her to a bar. She then tells me she is younger than what she told me online. She can't drink but they still let her in. It's just me and her friend drinking. We don't stay long. We leave and pickup some beer and decide to hang out at my place. After about the most awkward 20 minutes of drinking and small chat I've ever had to endure she asks where the bathroom is. I tell her I'll show her. It's upstairs right next my bedroom.

We came back downstairs 12 hours later. She was actually really good in bed and she was not quiet. Her friend had to stay downstairs and listen to us have sex all night. We didn't even have a tv he could watch.

In bed she gave me her grandmothers ring to signify how much I meant to her. They left the next morning and I had to wear that girly ring in public for an hour while we got breakfast.

A week later she realized she made a mistake be giving me that ring, maybe because I wasn't replying to any of her texts. I sent it back to her in the mail.


Nice.
 
Should have told her you're in it for the long haul, that you're not like those other guys. You wanted to ask her out earlier, but were too nervous and finally worked up the courage to do it when you did.
 
This thread rocks. Reminds me of a old poster on here that goes by BIGBIRD
 
Went on a first date yesterday. Third one in the last month or so. Nothing exciting or horrific happened though. Not sure what's going on but I'm not at all into any of the women I meet lately. No homo.
 
alright, another.

Was at a doctor's office getting my knee checked out and he girl at the front desk keeps coming back to he exam room to talk to me. Blonde, blue eyes, gorgeous face but a little chunky. Finally she asks if I had a girlfriend, said no and she gave me her number.

I get home and no sooner I'm getting a call from the doctor's office, it was her wanting to know if I wanted to go out with her the coming Saturday. Warning bells were going off but I said what the hell. She asked if she could come to my place and drive, I said fine.

Saturday night comes and she comes and picks me up. She tells me she wanted to drive because of the stereo in her car and I'd find out why soon. We leave to go eat and all a sudden she starts playing the song from Titanic the Celine Dion one but it's an instrumental. This girl starts belting out the song at the top of her lungs staring at me the whole time. All I can think is "keep your eyes on the road bitch" and she is doing the hand motions and all. After she tells me how she's a pre-med student and also a classically trained opera singer. So we have dinner and right in the middle she tells me she just got divorced and she's only 22 years old; I was about 27 at the time. So after she asks if I mind if she stops someplace, I say OK.

She takes me over to her ex-husband's place. I'm sitting in the room and the two of them are in the bedroom and I hear the following "he's my new boyfriend" "yeah, well at least he doesn't fuck me in the ass like some pervert" "oh, and he loves the way I suck his dick" I can't make out what the guy is saying the whole time. Finally, she comes out and says "let's go honey".

Then we stop by her mother's place and she introduces me to her mother and grandmother. She starts telling them both how we are both in love. The mother goes to another room and comes back with a bottle of wine and a framed picture of her daughter and gives them to me. Then we leave and on the way out she is gushing about how much her mom and grandmother liked me.

Driving back to my place she asks me "when do you think you'll know if you want to marry me or not?". For the better part of the night I'm not saying a word, shit was just too wierd for me. I just say "Um, I have no idea"

We get back to my place and I'm just trying to get out of the car and make a rund for it when she starts making a scene about me inviting her in and that she put her heart out there for me, finally I relented and let her in. One thing led to another and we slept together. She was right about one thing, I did like the way she sucked dick, girl had no gag reflex whatsoever and she would hum while deepthroating; if you've never experienced I highly recommend it.

Anyway, she calls me a couple days later and tells me I'm "too emotionally detached for her" and tells me she hopes we can remain friends. That was the last I ever spoke to her.

If you believe in a god you might as well thank him because you dodged a bullet there. You are lucky you got off that easy.
 
We had a date on Fri. I showed up knocking on her door. No answer, so I knocked louder. I looked in her window and saw a bathroom light so I banged on her window. I figured she was in the shower, so I banged on the window louder. Still no response. I go to my car and call her, she doesn't answer. So I banged on her door and window again. I figured she's taking her sweet ass time getting ready. I walk to my car and wait.

Suddenly a police copter is overhead shining his spot light on me. WTF? So I wave at them. Seconds later 4 squad cars coming speeding to me. They get out with guns drawn, slam me to the ground and ask me, "you here to kill her boy!!". Holy shit she got the dates mixed up, took some ambien and thought someone was trying to kill her!!
 
We had a date on Fri. I showed up knocking on her door. No answer, so I knocked louder. I looked in her window and saw a bathroom light so I banged on her window. I figured she was in the shower, so I banged on the window louder. Still no response. I go to my car and call her, she doesn't answer. So I banged on her door and window again. I figured she's taking her sweet ass time getting ready. I walk to my car and wait.

Suddenly a police copter is overhead shining his spot light on me. WTF? So I wave at them. Seconds later 4 squad cars coming speeding to me. They get out with guns drawn, slam me to the ground and ask me, "you here to kill her boy!!". Holy shit she got the dates mixed up, took some ambien and thought someone was trying to kill her!!

So did you kill her or what...

Also, I'm glad this thread came back... Best of Mayberry this year, imo.
 
Not a date, but when I went christmas shopping with my dad last year, some girl working at the counter in the shop we were in asked me out, right there and then, in front of my old man. He made things worse by saying "She hopes you'll be as good looking as me in a few years time" and "Go for it, you won't find many better than her son! " (To be fair, she was smoking hot.) All right in front of this girl.

Anyway my dad payed up and the girl gave me her number on the receipt and we left. I never called and nothing ever came of it. I already have a gf (as my dad knew all too well.)
 
A gal brought her sister once; did not tell me till I had already gotten to the meeting destination. Talk about awkward.
 
Hope this thread brings new eyes with the bump i liked reading through the thread at work made it go by faster haha.
 
Not a date, but when I went christmas shopping with my dad last year, some girl working at the counter in the shop we were in asked me out, right there and then, in front of my old man. He made things worse by saying "She hopes you'll be as good looking as me in a few years time" and "Go for it, you won't find many better than her son! " (To be fair, she was smoking hot.) All right in front of this girl.

Anyway my dad payed up and the girl gave me her number on the receipt and we left. I never called and nothing ever came of it. I already have a gf (as my dad knew all too well.)

LOL, your dad's an asshole.
 
A gal brought her sister once; did not tell me till I had already gotten to the meeting destination. Talk about awkward.

Even more awkward if her sister was younger and hotter and you thought she was the girl you were meeting.
 
jesus fucking christ, she already texted me. i wish i was mean enough to tell her to leave me alone, but im beta as fuck, so ill just ignore her

Tell her you're a degenerate drug addict with lots of fucked up shit in your life. If she hangs around you you'll only end up robbing her granny's house or something.
 
Tell her you're a degenerate drug addict with lots of fucked up shit in your life. If she hangs around you you'll only end up robbing her granny's house or something.

Nope, telling her that is a cry for help in a girls mind. Then she'll pity him and try to save him.
 
Even more awkward if her sister was younger and hotter and you thought she was the girl you were meeting.

Her sister was younger, hot but not as hot at the time, has pulled even in the past 2yrs.

I already knew her casually; would run in to her here and there. We began texting and instant messaging each other for about 2 months - one day I asked her out she said yes - we made plans, she made extra plans.
 
Her sister was younger, hot but not as hot at the time, has pulled even in the past 2yrs.

I already knew her casually; would run in to her here and there. We began texting and instant messaging each other for about 2 months - one day I asked her out she said yes - we made plans, she made extra plans.

She wanted to help her sister lose her virginity.
 
Ha, I was set up on a blind date at a party years ago. I happened to be coming out of a nasty break up and was trying to get over it via imbibing shitloads of vodka with this girl. About halfway through the party/date, I decide to invite my best friend to the party and so this girl and I go to pick him up. I'm so drunk at this point that I can't give decent directions to his house, nor can I focus on where we are long enough to SEE where we are. Anyways, after some driving around and a phone call to his house from a pay phone by my date, we pick him up and head back to the party. As we get there, I collapse on the front porch and immediately begin vomiting all over myself. As if that wasn't bad/embarrassing enough, I wake up 2 hours later to see my friend nailing my date about 6 feet away from me.

There was no second date.
 
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