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- May 25, 2012
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This thread is the stuff of legend... We need some new stories to keep it going. Let's hear em!
Exactley, that's something you just gotta own.
This thread is the stuff of legend... We need some new stories to keep it going. Let's hear em!
agreed, I was bummed when i saw that it was running out of steam. I shared my funniest one but I'll try to think of some more.
No masks is a good thing, bro... lol. Looking forward to hearing about Friday!
Did the chick ever show back up at the gym?
Stop posting joker gifs in every fucking thread.
why so serious?
well i'll add another. ive never shared this.
about 6 years after high school, i returned home for some family thing. that evening, i went to one of the bars in the downtown area with a couple buddies and bumped into one of my former teachers (i'll call her Lola) who had taught me when i was a sophmore (she was also newly married when she taught us). at the time she became a teacher she around 23-24 so when we chatted and reconnected Lola was about 29-30 and i about 22-23. well, this woman was smokin. the type of teacher most of us want to nail when we're in high school but would most likely embarrass ourselves with if given the chance. also the type of smokin fine p.o.a. that we see in the news nowadays and just say "where were these whore teachers when i was in high school?!?!?" well, the evening progresses. occasionally i'll see Lola across the bar and smile. im thinking "man, would i like too.." my buddies and i joke about it, knowing getting laid by her is about as likely as falling out of a ship in the Pacific and not getting wet. so anyway, further into the night eventually she walks by me as i go to the restroom. she says something i dont hear because there was a speaker close to where we are standing. but the message is clear. she puts a note in my pocket and grabs my "special purpose" like shes trying to rip a phonebook in halfbefore saying "DONT SAY ANYTHING TO YOUR BOYS!" right in my ear and walking away. and man did the walkaway look wonderful. so i go to take a piss (and clearly im pretty fucking pumped now. i probably looked the same as i did when i got Castle Grayskull on Christmas morning in the winter of 84'). i read the note. its says something like "ive always wanted to suck your ****. lets have won* (sic, i always thought this was hilarious since she taught English) memorable night." i also thought the fact that she "always" had wanted to do that was pretty telling since i was like 9-10 when she first met me. (we mostly all knew her before she became our teacher since she was from the same town)...
so i walk out of the bathroom and i cant wait to leave. my buddies are ready to party all night but i give some bullshit excuse to leave. and i see that Lola has just walked out the door with her friend. So i walk to my car and at this point im so amped up, i could destroy a car rampage style with my winky. so i wait 20 minutes (this was before cell phones were super popular. i probably had an early prepaid and it probably had no minutes knowing me) and call from a pay phone. she answers and tells me to hurry. i get to her house and holy fuck, fireworks. it was just like i had hoped, better than i could have imagined. she made me feel like i was cooler than Mark Wahlberg in "Boogie Nights." so the alcohol helped me to fuel my fire all night long. when the roosters finally crowed, we had maybe been asleep for around 30 minutes. then the weirdo started kicking into overdrive. she started saying the shit i hoped she wouldnt repeat. she began talking about how hot for me she was when she taught me then about how she always thought i was sexy when i was like 11-12. this and the fact that i thought i was gong to end up chained in her basement made me cut my losses and decide it was time to cut out. nobodies boiling my bunnies!!! so i open the bedroom door and walk into the living room andthere in the lazyboy sits her husband. or ex husband. never did get clarification on that one. i was to busy running out of the house.
i never did talk to her again. she did try to friend me on fb a couple years back. well shes tried a few times tbh but i thought it was wiser not to approve her.
all i could think of all day was "i wonder how long he sat in that fucking lazyboy listening to his wife or ex wife screaming like she had just been given a free line of credit at Bed bath and Beyond for life..."
i had to eat her entire dinner and mine (40 buck dinner ). it was at some japanese sushi bar