Fighter Jokes

[NGute87]

Micheal Bisping walks into a bar.

Ouch.

The poor bar

 

[Stranger Come Knocking]

What's the difference between jiu-jitsu and judo?

Spoiler

Jiu-jitsu is a martial art and Judo is what they make bagels from.

 

[rearnakedchoke]

Tony Ferguson’s neighbor asking for a favor.

Neighbor: Tony, can you do me a favor? Im kinda busy, can you pick up my kid?
Tony: Where’s your kid at?

 

[jeff7b9]

Andrei Arlovski goes to Brazil to train. He stays with the Machida family. While Mr Machida is preparing a traditional family breakfast Andrei sneaks into the kitchen to pull a quick switch.

They sit down at the table to sip their breakfast and Lyoto can't help but notice a huge shit eating grin on Arlovski's face.

"Is something funny my friend?" -says Lyoto.

"How's taste my peepee?" Andrei replies.

 

[7even]

Wait... There is underwear with holes for your dick?

 

[SpaceGinger]

"I'm gonna beat Khabib in a rematch" - Conor

 

[Clippy]

 

[Mmaprovost]

Wait... There is underwear with holes for your dick?

No I was joking. They should though.

 

[Klaavical]

No I was joking. They should though.

Fruit of the Looms have a pee pee cutout

 

[Klaavical]

Tony Ferguson's the type of guy to fuck a girl in front of a mirror and stare at himself the entire time.

 

[Scurvydawg]

Did you hear Tyron Woodley was going to start a Nascar Career? He was quoted as saying its very similar to fighting. You are in a cage. Run around in circles against fierce competitors. It has the same white cracker fanbase as MMA and you can cover your self in Dude Wipe sponsors like the good old days . Only difference is you can refill your gas tank every few rounds...

 

[Mortal Wombat]

How many Team Alpha Males fighters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Actually none can reach disregard.

 

[Scurvydawg]

Rumor has it Artem Lobov did one of those new 23andMe home DNA tests. He sent his sample back to the company and waited a few days for his results. The company got back to him with a email stating it will take a bit longer then usual. They had to send the DNA results to GSP to determine if his great great grandma was a Raptor or a T-rex...

 

[wwkirk]

Pretty good, Pitier.

 

[Vincentsky]

How many Team Alpha Males fighters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Actually none can reach disregard.

3- they would have to sit on each other’s shoulders

 

[Vincentsky]

I would be a paige vanzant fan but she’s whoreable

 

[D 1 Wrestler]

 

[HumanSandwich]

Jon Jones needs dick pills

 

[Raknesh]

Conor goes to a Meshuggah concert. Jens asks what the crowd wants to hear and Conor yells, "You'll do fookin' Nothing!"

 

[Vincentsky]

What’s NOT a common denominator between Dana white, Joe Rogan, and Randy couture ?

A comb.