Fighter Jokes

[Pitier of Fools]

I'll start.

Mackenzie Dern walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "You sound Brazilian."
Dern says, "How many is a brazilian?"

Jon Jones gets pulled over in his Bentley by a cop, and the cop sees a bottle on the seat. The cop asks Jones what's in the bottle, and Jones replies, "It's only water officer!"
The cop takes the bottle, smells it, and says, "Son, this this smells like wine to me."
Bonesy says, "Praise the Lord, he's done it again!"

Why are Shogun, GSP, and Joanna Jedrzejczyk against a fighter union? Because strikes make them tap.

 

[Nezahualcoyotl]

 

[JosephTessaro]

Cody McKenzie

 

[Irresponsible Dad]

Micheal Bisping walks into a bar.

Ouch.

 

[Pequeño Corey]

Why does Leslie Smith make such a good friend? Because she's always there to lend you her ear.

 

[Mmaprovost]

Tony Fergusson is the type of guy to get high and then throw all the junk food in the trash.

 

[Rex Kwon Do]

"Fedor is the GOAT"

 

[Only Here for Attachments]

Conor goes to a Meshuggah concert. Jens asks what the crowd wants to hear and Conor yells, "You'll do fookin' Nothing!"

 

[SL1200]

"Fedor is the GOAT"

Sorry not funny.. unlike the wizzard in your AV

 

[Vincentsky]

Khabib Connor Tony and Trump are on a plane.

Pilot comes up and says we just lost an engine we need get rid of some weight.

Khabib throws Connor off the plane and says we have too many alcoholics in Russia anyways.

Trump throws Tony off the plane and says we have too many Mexicans in the USA anyways

Then trump tries to throw khabib off for being both Russian and a Muslim, khabib calls Putin, passes the phone to trump and trump jumps out. Khabib stays undefeated.

 

[Klaavical]

Tony Ferguson's the type of guy who’ll brush his teeth after taking a dump.

 

[Mmaprovost]

 

[Vincentsky]

Version # 2

Khabib Connor Tony and Trump are on a plane

Pilot comes up and says we just lost an engine we need get rid of some weight.

Khabib throws out a case of proper 12 and says it’s kufr

Connor throws an illegal strike at khabib while he’s throwing off the proper 12 and khabib flys off

Tony goes to ankle pick Connor but trips over a wire and falls off as well

Trump double legs Connor chokes him and throws him off

Trump says - I’m the greatest mma fighter ever, the best fighter you’ve ever seen, there has never been a great fighter like me

 

[caliboi74lv]

Dana White starts telling the truth.
Rogan stops getting high and isn't bias anymore.
The Diaz bros become elite level wrestlers.
Jon fights clean the rest of his career.

 

[CTYankee]

Micheal Bisping walks into a bar.

Ouch.

Why did Michael Bisping walk into a well?

He couldn't see that well.

 

[Vincentsky]

Tony Ferguson is walking through the dark woods with the hitchhiker

Hitchhiker - it’s awfully scary out here
Tony - How do you think I feel.. I gotta walk back alone

 

[Vincentsky]

Why did Jose Aldo choose to be a fighter instead of a baseball player ?

He doesn’t know where home is.
( he used to be homeless )

 

[Vincentsky]

What do you call John Jones when he says he’s clean?

A liar

 

[Wizzlebiz]

Whats the difference between a rooster and pvz?

Rooster says "cockadoodle doo"

Pvz says "any cock will do"

 

[Vincentsky]

Conor- knock knock
Fans - who’s there
Conor - Conor
Fans - Conor who ?