Feelin burnt out, social/professional life ruining training

VladKGB said:
ur lucky u don't have a nagging GF as well.
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See, this has become my problem. When I started being with this girl, I told her that there was just one thing I asked - that she not interfere with my training. That went over ok for quite some time, but eventually she started creeping in on it.

I'm serious about this girl, too. It sucks to have to give up some training to give her more time. And yeah, I'm a selfish bastard.
 
irc said:
See, this has become my problem. When I started being with this girl, I told her that there was just one thing I asked - that she not interfere with my training. That went over ok for quite some time, but eventually she started creeping in on it.

I'm serious about this girl, too. It sucks to have to give up some training to give her more time. And yeah, I'm a selfish bastard.
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I had this situation once, and it turned out pretty much the same. I told her I was saving money for school, so we wouldnt be able to go out all the time, just for special occaisions. This worked for about a month. Then I got some overtime on my paycheque, so I decided, "lets go out for a nice dinner." Major fucking error. Within the month, we were going out to restaurants 3-5 times per week, soooo there went my education savings.

It's that whole slippery slope thing. I think, the key to anything, is being able to keep a schedule.
 
Greg: I agree that friends come and go, but relationships are important and it doesn't sound like the friends you had were the best quality if you felt pressure to hang out with them and drink all the time. Don't take that personally, it's just an impression I get from the post- they could be wonderful people.

To the OP, you need to stop or cut down on some of your activities.

1) Dropping out of school is probably not a good idea
2) Quitting your job probably would not work
3) You can stop hanging out with your friends, but you may just end up feeling lonely and isolated
4) Quit Jiu Jitsu and finish your senior year, it will be there when you get back.

You could just cut back on social life AND cut back on jiu jitsu and hopefully you'll feel less burnt out. If you're really worried about not maximizing your $100, though, just stop training. There is more to life, and you'll get your chance again.

You still might need a hobby that will be cathartic for you, maybe you should start lifting weights or join a college judo club (which will probably be super cheap and they will understand that you have a busy schedule). This way, when you get back to jiu jitsu you'll be stronger and/or have some good judo experience.

Just my 2 cents.
 
LordarshynBJJ said:
BJJ is part of my social life, not separate from my social life.
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i agree.

i've become friends with many of the guys i train with and actually look foward to BSing with them bjj aside. i even hang out and pound some beers with a few of them on the weekends. there are times where i have to drag myself to class, but i'm always glad i went afterwards
 
I balance work/bjj/uni as well..
Uni during day, bjj at night, come home do some study.
Friday/Saturday night I work in a bar. I manage to find time to lift weights and at the moment I'm training BJJ 4 times a week.. but honestly, I understand.. going through some trouble a month ago I barely went to bjj as I felt completely unmotivated at absolutely everything.
 
And to the people that told him to stop 'bitching', the guy is obviously going to get a lot further in life than you guys because he prioritizes the more important things; as awesome and rewarding as bjj is..
 
When BJJ starts to turn into a task or a chore, take time off. Or reconsider how you allocate time. Work is important as much as school, but your social life? Not trying to say be a hermit, but how important is it? Deos it involve a significant other? Possible fianance?:icon_conf
 
in my opinion you have to choose success in your sport (mma or bjj) or a social life, very rarely can you have both
 
Jinzumkei said:
As much as many people don't want to admit it, BJJ is just a hobby, not very many of us are ever going to do it professionally. Work/School are much more important than a hobby. I say take a break of BJJ and get your life in order, then get back into it. If you leave BJJ for a while you'll really miss it and you'll most likely have some fire when you come back.
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true also
 
Garrett E. said:
I hate bitching, but i've recently run into a fairly serious problem with my social/professional life consuming all my time.

I'm a college student, in my third year, handling a job, school, and a social life ontop of BJJ is a tedious task.

I see myself going to less and less class because im burnt out all the time. Worst of all--that was the whole point of BJJ for me. For a stress reliever, to get some time alone... find a hobby thats good for my body and my mind.

Another horrid thing about it is that im paying 100 a month for it, and not taking full advantage. Also, i dont want my training partners to start thinking im not dedicated--i am--its just all the other shit compiles on me, and by the time 630 rolls around and its time for BJJ--i can't think, i preform bad because im tired, and i consitatnly worry what im going to do when i get out. (which is usually around 10-1030) I wake up at 730 in the morn go to work, do classes, ect ect. The only free time i really have is on the weekends, (we have class) but typically i'd rather just sit around and be lazy because the work week was so ungodly hectic.

I look at some of the lazier dudes around me, they can wake up at 1 pm, 3 pm, whatever time they want--meanwhile ive already been up for 5-6 hours working.

Anyone have any advice? Or run into the same prob? Do you stop hanging out with friends so much? Stop socializing. I mean, i love BJJ but i also love having a social life.

What should i do?
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#1 take some time off.

#2. you should really think why bjj isn't a release anymore. Too many people get so addicted to bjj that they get so competitve after a while and they are not training to have fun but rather to improve/win. There is nothing wrong with that but ask yourself. BJJ is a hobby, let's face it unless you want to open your own dojo it's a hobby. Do you treat it like a hobby that you are obsessed with? Or a "martial art"? People play guitar hero because it brings them joy not because they want to "get better at it" or "improve in it".
 
If I won the lottery or even had moderate income I would just train. No car, no fancy shit just a gi and my bike. Seriously trying to accomplish this..keep you posted.

ps:can I borrow a sandwich?
 
I started BJJ when I was 16, and I've been studying it for a bit over two years now. My friends all know me as a grappler and they understand that sometimes I can't go out for drinks because of my training.

Why would there be hard feelings? Do you friends not want you to become good at something you enjoy?
 
A lot of people have made some really good points here.

1. If you are going to slow it down make sure u at least train once a week so that your timing and everything is still on.
2. You will almost always be glad you went as your walking out of class.

I am in the same situation as you are. College, work, bjj, girlfriend, social time etc. It does get tough sometimes. Going to train might feel like a chore and you drag yourself to class but dragging yourself to class is part of what makes bjj so good for the mind. You just eventually get used to going even though you don't want to just like a million other things in life you have to do but don't want to like work or study.

Finally, bjj isn't going anywhere, if you train w/o an ego to learn and as a hobby you will have no problem fitting it into your schedule. It's what I've been trying to work on. The first thing that comes to ur mind is "Aw crap if I skip training I'll get my ass beat next time I go in." Well the funny thing is I will get my ass beat regardless and I've been training for almost 4 years so don't worry about it, you'll be much happier. The way I see it, I'll be doing this until I'm too old to walk I've got plenty of time if bjj needs to take a backseat for a week or two. One last note, while your sitting here worrying about your bjj schedule and your time management to keep yourself busy, theres someone else out there worrying that cancer may decide that today is their last day on earth. Liek I said ive been trying to work these types of things into my mind and makes u feel a lot better about what youve got.
 
It just depends on what you want. Do you want to party or train? It sounds like you only have enough spare time for one or the other.
 
You should never let work, school, family, etc, have a negative influence on your training. Get back in the gym, tell your mates to fuck off, work less with just enough cash to pay the rent and buy vegetables and chicken breasts, and fucking train.

END OF THREAD.
 
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