Essentially, what is "game"?

[Psychedelic]

I've had a few occasions where I have gone on a date with a girl, before the date, she was sending me messages with hearts on them, saying stuff like "I'm looking forward to seeing you!" Etc. the girl was even 20 minutes early, sending me messages where to exactly meet her etc. she bought a gift for me ... after a few drinks, I tell her I like her ...

She said she just wanted to be friends and basically stopped replying to my messages ... lol

I've had this happen a few times ... this was bad game, because there was no mystery any more, no anxiety.

A lot of what constitutes "Sexual tension" is essentially the girl not knowing where she stands with you. Whether you like her or not.

Was it a Tinder date or you knew these chicks from before?

 

[IndyCovaHart]

So on the money.

A certain cognizance about it does go a long way though.

I don’t believe it’s true game if it’s natural.

Identifying the markers in the cat and mouse dance and acting upon them in the right amounts is critical.

Analyzing the minutae is far from cool but there are definitely degrees to this shit. And sometimes the girl has enough game where a little extra work is necessary to gain and maintain the upper hand.

 

[Jack Stevonovich]

I think most guys can develop game but IDK about autistic people though. Although I have met several autistic people that are in relationships with other autistic people.

 

[Goonerview]

Was it a Tinder date or you knew these chicks from before?

Had met them before at a party/night out. IIRC.

I don't really do tinder, tried it years ago, but got tired of it.

 

[Striderxdj]

Being able to exude confidence and having the ability to show interest in someone while simultaneously having them believe you couldn't give a shit one way or the other if they want to reciprocate. Less attractive dudes can get beautiful women through "game" because these women get used to having guys throw themselves at them and when one doesn't fall in line he stands out from the crowd, therefore he becomes intriguing and their need for validation will draw them to where it is lacking.

There is a sliding scale on how effective "game" is, having some desirable trait(s) is still necessary for a chance at any success.

 

[SamSchmidt]

If you have to ask what it is or overthink about the minutiae of what it involves, you haven't got it and never will.

 

[Psychedelic]

Had met them before at a party/night out. IIRC

How attractive do you think you are, on a scale from 1 to 10 ?

Cause as far as "game" goes, it boils down to : "don't be needy" and "don't be a pushover".

If a girl is being nitpicky in a guy's regard and is waiting for the slightest excuse to bail, it unfortunately means that he's unattractive.

 

[pookiyama]

The fundamental concept is being happy with yourself and not needing someone else to create that happiness.

Literally everything else is built off that, or built off faking that

 

[Goonerview]

How attractive do you think you are, on a scale from 1 to 10 ?

Cause as far as "game" goes, it boils down to : "don't be needy" and "don't be a pushover".

If a girl is being nitpicky in a guy's regard and is waiting for the slightest excuse to bail, it unfortunately means that he's unattractive.

I think you make a good point. Having "game" is almost about what you don't do in an interaction. Don't send too many messages, don't tell her you like her, don't push anything too soon ...

I would say I am above average in looks. I'm tall, slim, been told I look like Harrison Ford.

I have no trouble approaching women comfortably/ getting numbers/getting dates ... but upon reflection, I have historically f**ked up a lot by showing too much interest too soon. Especially with the girls I actually like ... so I usually ended up in relationships with girls that were a few steps below.

I naturally had good "game" with them because I just genuinely didn't give a f**k if they liked me or not, lol

 

[ithinktheymad]

I know I have had very bad game. But, there have been stages of my life, where my "game" was effortless and I was unconsciously very good with women.

This thread is essentially to break down what exactly is "game".

What is "game" at its fundamental core? Once looks and charm have been established:

1. Woman not knowing exactly where she stands with you. Whether you like her or not. THIS is f**king key.

2. Have a couple of comfort building dates. But don't give any/little validation. No cutesy ass messages after the date, either. Be chatty, cool, calm, relaxed.

3. Small steps until she's back in your apartment and you are 100% certain that she likes you. Then watch a movie, make a move then.

Goodness. I don't know where to even begin.

You don't have to play games. I have no problem complimenting women. You may want to rethink how easily won over you are though. The fact that you're so hung up on verbally affirming that you "like" them speaks volumes.

How would you even know that within a couples dates anyway when you don't even know the woman? Do you mean that you find them attractive? Do you know how many women look good or even great? Is that really all it takes for them? Look not repulsive and smile at you then you're asking for exclusivity?

Brings me to another point. Why are you bringing up relationship status? That's the woman's job to bring it up.

I'm not trying to be mean but you come off very thirsty. If I can see that over the internet then Allah only knows what you're projecting in person.

We're not even discussing game at this point which is just using charm to bring women who are unsure or neutral about you to the "affirmative" camp. You sound like you're fucking up with the women who choose you. Total amateur hour just baffling. Your goal with these women should just be not to screw it up they ALREADY CHOSE YOU! Say less.

Watch a movie and "make a move" then? What are we autistic adolescents in the year 1984? Aren't you like 30 dude? This shit actually gave me anxiety I need a drink.

 

[Goonerview]

Goodness. I don't know where to even begin.

You don't have to play games. I have no problem complimenting women. You may want to rethink how easily won over you are though. The fact that you're so hung up on verbally affirming that you "like" them speaks volumes.

How would you even know that within a couples dates anyway when you don't even know the woman? Do you mean that you find them attractive? Do you know how many women look good or even great? Is that really all it takes for them? Look not repulsive and smile at you then you're asking for exclusivity?

Brings me to another point. Why are you bringing up relationship status? That's the woman's job to bring it up.

I'm not trying to be mean but you come off very thirsty. If I can see that over the internet then Allah only knows what you're projecting in person.

We're not even discussing game at this point which is just using charm to bring women who are unsure or neutral about you to the "affirmative" camp. You sound like you're fucking up with the women who choose you. Total amateur hour just baffling. Your goal with these women should just be not to screw it up they ALREADY CHOSE YOU! Say less.

Watch a movie and "make a move" then? What are we autistic adolescents in the year 1984? Aren't you like 30 dude? This shit actually gave me anxiety I need a drink.

It's the woman's job to ask the man to be her boyfriend? In Japan, its the opposite, they call it 告白 (kokuhaku) it means confession, the man tells the girl that he likes her, and the relationship starts. It's becoming more considered old fashioned nowadays.

It's not really clear how to start a relationship in the west ... you usually just have casual sex and then eventually just assume you are in an exclusive relationship. It's kind of weird, wishy-washy and vague isn't it?

No wonder our society is pretty f**ked up. Because none of this is really clear at all.

I'm good looking, charming and can talk to women, I guess in the past, me telling them I liked them/blowing up their phone or over-complimenting them was to give them clarity that I wanted to be lovers not friends and not have the conversation to nowhere ... Bad idea in Hindsight and all of that. I accept that.

I have, in the past, had very good "game", but this was unconscious and I didn't even really know what/how I did it ... this is why I'm making this thread, breaking down what is "game".

 

[ithinktheymad]

It's the woman's job to ask the man to be her boyfriend? In Japan, its the opposite, they call it 告白 (kokuhaku) it means confession, the man tells the girl that he likes her, and the relationship starts. It's becoming more considered old fashioned nowadays.

It's not really clear how to start a relationship in the west ... you usually just have casual sex and then eventually just assume you are in an exclusive relationship. It's kind of weird, wishy-washy and vague isn't it?

No wonder our society is pretty f**ked up. Because none of this is really clear at all.

Again, I don't want to be rude as I know this isn't easy for everyone but do you ever think that you may have some form of social dysfunction? I'm not judging even though I do very well with women I have my own issues(I'm very introverted, irritable, suffer from social anxiety and bpd which has greatly impacted my ability to be intimate and form lasting relationships) I still deal with so I understand. Just something to consider.

I've been to Japan, and many different places. Social customs don't just wipe out tens of thousands of years of evolutionary programming. I had strange women grabbing me in the streets in Japan. Female HSS are the selectors. Think about it, it's never the bride dragged "kicking and screaming" down the aisle or behind her father in law's shotgun.

It's not vague at all. Why would you assume anything, ever? Ever hear the old adage about that one?

 

[Goonerview]

Again, I don't want to be rude as I know this isn't easy for everyone but do you ever think that you may have some form of social dysfunction? I'm not judging even though I do very well with women I have my own issues(I'm very introverted, irritable, suffer from social anxiety and bpd which has greatly impacted my ability to be intimate and form lasting relationships) I still deal with so I understand. Just something to consider.

I've been to Japan, and many different places. Social customs don't just wipe out tens of thousands of years of evolutionary programming. I had strange women grabbing me in the streets in Japan. Female HSS are the selectors. Think about it, it's never the bride dragged "kicking and screaming" down the aisle or behind her father in law's shotgun.

It's not vague at all. Why would you assume anything, ever? Ever hear the old adage about that one?

I guess I caught some feels, got too idealistic, and was too open and honest with my intentions, too soon and I needed to reign it in on those occasions.

I guess I was trying to be "good" and do the "right thing" by the people that I invited into my life ... by being open and honest, but all this ever did was kill the attraction ...

Look, I'm not a retard and I can control my emotions when I need to, but don't pretend that this is all clear and everyone gets it.

"Game" is a tough concept to grasp and truly understand at its fundamental core. Imo .

This thread has shed a lot of light on it though, for me anyway. Even through just my own reflections/pondering.

 

[ithinktheymad]

I guess I caught some feels, got too idealistic, and was too open and honest with my intentions, too soon and I needed to reign it in on those occasions.

I guess I was trying to be "good" and do the "right thing" by the people that I invited into my life ... by being open and honest, but all this ever did was kill the attraction ...

Look, I'm not a retard and I can control my emotions when I need to, but don't pretend that this is all clear and everyone gets it.

"Game" is a tough concept to grasp and truly understand at its fundamental core. Imo .

This thread has shed a lot of light on it though, for me anyway. Even through just my own reflections/pondering.

I understand I'll ask you to consider my perspective.

Why do you even have intentions to begin with and what intentions are you referring to? What makes you catch feelings so easily? Again, is a pretty face all it takes to have you practically down on one knee? From what I can surmise you seem to be the sociable sort and there's nothing wrong with wanting other people around we're social animals but I'd analyze your reasons for courting them into your life. A girlfriend will have close personal access to you you may even cohabitate. You almost certainly will cohabitate with your wife. Would you let just anyone have that kind of access to you? Is her laughing at your jokes so you buy another round all it takes for you to TRUST her? And if you can't trust her why would you want to make her your SO?

Think of it this way, would a King just invite any and everyone into their close personal circle? Do Kings even NEED any more people than they have in their lives already?

I don't know what you mean by "good" and "do the right thing."

I wasn't trying to imply that you're mentally retarded but perhaps not the most socially adept. There's nothing wrong with showing some emotion to a woman.

 

[Oblivian]

Game is generally the ability to talk to women and seem desirable while doing it. It normally requires confidence and wit.

It's one of those concepts that isn't so easy to define. It's like trying to describe the "it" factor with potential stars. In my work, I have to hire people that will do the closings. It's far different than the research side. Basically, in the interview, they have to have a "closer's personality". Similarly, it's hard to define, but it's basically being good with people in a business atmosphere. Example: Stern when needed, joking to keep things light at times, not panic, keep everything under control even when things are stressed, ability to deal with people from all backgrounds, etc. Some personalities just have it and some don't. While I think everyone can become better at dealing with women, I don't think everyone will be able to have "game". It's just certain personalities can pull it off.

 

[Goonerview]

I understand I'll ask you to consider my perspective.

Why do you even have intentions to begin with and what intentions are you referring to? What makes you catch feelings so easily? Again, is a pretty face all it takes to have you practically down on one knee? From what I can surmise you seem to be the sociable sort and there's nothing wrong with wanting other people around we're social animals but I'd analyze your reasons for courting them into your life. A girlfriend will have close personal access to you you may even cohabitate. You almost certainly will cohabitate with your wife. Would you let just anyone have that kind of access to you? Is her laughing at your jokes so you buy another round all it takes for you to TRUST her? And if you can't trust her why would you want to make her your SO?

Think of it this way, would a King just invite any and everyone into their close personal circle? Do Kings even NEED any more people than they have in their lives already?

I don't know what you mean by "good" and "do the right thing."

I wasn't trying to imply that you're mentally retarded but perhaps not the most socially adept. There's nothing wrong with showing some emotion to a woman.

I guess I was being too idealistic and trying to do what I thought was expected of me as a "good man".

Look, I've had casual sex with many women before, but it always feels a bit wrong, like we should have established where we stand with each other before we have sex ... look, i've done it, but it always felt a bit irresponsible and potentially dangerous.

So, from that perspective, when I meet someone who I feel is on my level and particularly attractive to me and I can see potentially a bright future for us (idealistic thinking), I get a bit too idealistic and feel the need to "do it properly" .... if that makes sense. But, this just killls the attraction and the interaction.

I guess I need to take a deep breath and be calm next time. Just have better "game". Let her bring up the "relationship".

FTR, when I said "I like you", I don't mean I want to marry you tomorrow, but I was just establishing that I intended to be lovers not friends.

But, I guess, you could say that that is already implied (or should be) by the fact I'm meeting her out alone ... but this isn't always the case. I've also had some "conversations to nowhere" type dates.

 

[A.S. Deep]

In the romantic sense, what does having good "game" mean? I want to use this thread to discuss it and break it down to a fundamental concept. If possible.

How I understand it. You meet a girl on a night out or at a party, you need to have enough confidence to approach her, ask her a few questions, be charming/friendly and then ask her if she's interested in coffee/dinner some time.

If she says yes and seems excited. Exchange numbers. But don't be too excited or show too much emotion. "Game" and the concept of attraction is her not knowing exactly where she stands with you, do you really like her or not? Who knows?

You go on a date for dinner/coffee. Get to know each other a little, have fun. Then end the date. Ask her out again a week later, be chill, calm and cool. No showing any emotions of affection of that you are liking her. No "looking forward to seeing you again" type messages. Instant attraction killers ....

The next time, invite her out closer to your house/ around for dinner.

Wait until you are for certain that she is into you and then make a move, go for a kiss.

So, game is essentially, showing a girl interest, spending some time together, but not doing anything goofy or overly affectionate so that she doesn't know where she stands with you, then when you are sure that she really likes you, you make a move.

Can anyone break it down better than this?

"Whatever works personality-wise to get girls" is the simplest I can put it.

Another way to think of it is as a tweakable model. When a guy first tries to get girls he's going to make a lot of mistakes (being clingy, showing too much emotion, lack of confidence, etc.). Assuming the guy has some sense, he'll correct those mistakes to make sure they never happen again, thus improving his model. The guy's sex life will improve a bit, but he'll of course make new mistakes until he corrects those and improves his sex life further. And so on...

After countless edits/tweaks, the guy's model for getting girls will be like a well-oiled machine that he can use even if he is ugly as hell on a certain day. Learning how to write fiction for me was also creating a tweakable model.

***This shit is why I'm so lucky to be with my fiancee. I never needed any game and we've been ultra emotional and romantic from day one. I just needed to be genuine with her and that was enough. Even better, I never have to deal with the typical emotional games girls play either (I don't even need to think about that bs). That said, I'd DEFINITELY need game for any other girl because being real/genuine won't work with most girls.

 

[TeTe]

Ask this guy

 

[Aegon Spengler]

If you can look a woman in her eyes and just know for a fact that you’d blow her mind in bed she will sense it and abandon her husband and small children for you.

Then you can take her bum hole, throw her in a river and move on.

She will swim out of the river eventually and return to her kids.

 

[minute bull]

Your. Smell.