Best Simpsons' Line (Thread #2):

[Cato]

The finger thing means the taxes!

 

[iThrillhouse]

Watched a bunch of classic episodes with friends over the weekend some gold in there

Homer and the kidney problem

Tour Guide: Founded by prostitutes in 1849, and serviced by the Prostitute Express riders who could bring in a fresh prostitute from St. Joe in three days, Bloodbath Gulch quickly became known as the place where a trailhand could spend a month's pay in three minutes.
Homer: Three minutes? *whistles*
Marge: I never realized history was so filthy!
Tour Guide: First on our tour is the whorehouse, then we'll visit the cathouse, the brothel, the bordello, and, finally, the old mission.
Marge: Oh, thank Heaven!
Tour Guide: Lots of prostitutes in there!


the way the tour guide says that had me in stitches

Tour guide: Ho, ho, there's old Curly. He played the town preacher until we laid him off, but he still hangs around!
*crowd claps*
Curly: *walks up to Homer* Help me, please! I'm sick!
Homer: *laughs hysterically*
Marge: Homer!
Homer: But it's funny, Marge; the guy's sick!
*Curly collapses into a horse trough, unable to breathe because of the water or get out.
*Curly goes unconscious, stops breathing*
Lisa: Uh, shouldn't we help him?
Bart: He knows what he's doing.
*someone in crowd takes a photo of the lifeless Curly*

 

[Scrody]

Russian Representative: The Soviet Union will be pleased to offer amnesty to your wayward vessel.
United States Representative: Soviet Union? I thought you guys broke up.
Russian Representative: Nyet! That's what we wanted you to think, hahahahahaha!

 

[Cato]

^^
lmao at the Olympic rings being covered up

 

[drowningidiot]

Carl: Hey, I hear we're going to Ape Island.
Lenny: Yeah, to capture a giant ape. I wish we were going to Candy Apple Island.
Charlie: Candy Apple Island? What do they got there?
Carl: Apes, but they're not so big.

Mr. Burns: I remember when Al Jolson ran amok at the Winter Garden and climbed the Chrysler building. After that, he couldn

 

[drowningidiot]

Take that you dumb squirrel!

 

[El Moose]

Mr. Burns: Oooh the Germans are mad at me, I'm so scared, oooh the Germans
Hans: Stop it!!
Mr. Burns: The Germans are coming to get me, Smithers help
Other Germans: Stop with the pretending you are scared of us

 

[ELGUAP01]

One of my favorites was when Bart stood up to Nelson and punched him. Nelson's nose started to bleed and he said "You made me bleed my own blood!" That still makes me laugh today!

 

[Ro Dubya Bush**]

Lionel Hutz - Uh oh we got Judge Snyder.

Marge - Is that bad?

Lionel Hutz - Lets just say I accidentally ran over his dog. And lets replace the word *accidentally* with *repeatedly*, and the word *dog* with *son*.

Hahaha

 

[Henry Huggins]

the juice loosener bit with Troy McClure. While squeezing an orange against his eye to get juice "until now, this was the only way to get juice from an orange."

 

[Jar of Flies]

the juice loosener bit with Troy McClure. While squeezing an orange against his eye to get juice "until now, this was the only way to get juice from an orange."

Homer as he squeezes an orange on his eye: "You mean there's another way?!"

 

[Henry Huggins]

Homer as he squeezes an orange on his eye: "You mean there's another way?!"

haha yeah that kills me every time.

 

[Cuzcatlan]

the juice loosener bit with Troy McClure. While squeezing an orange against his eye to get juice "until now, this was the only way to get juice from an orange."

Anything with Troy McClure is gold.

 

[Its Me Austin]

"America isn't so bad. They even named a street after me."
"It's full of WHAT?!"

 

[Ro Dubya Bush**]

Skinner - Im sorry did you just call me a LIAR?

Chalmers - No I said you were fired.

Skinner - Oh...Thats much worse

 

[Aegon Spengler]

 

[ElKarlo]

Homer as he squeezes an orange on his eye: "You mean there's another way?!"

Haha oh man

 

[clutchit]

I'm sure this one's been posted before considering it's sherdog. also Bart's hair cracks me up

 

[fightingrabbit]

Homer: "Waiit a minute...was that cat making out with that mouse? Cause if he was...."

 

[fightingrabbit]

Homer: "And on my free African safari, i want do everything on this box...I want to shoot a lion in the face...fight Muhammad Ali...and ride in a convertible with two happy zebras."