Best home defense melee weapon

[Bebop]

ill say some kind of weighted blunt object. pointy shit might stab yourself

 

[jefferz]

Stun baton

If you can't own anything like that and want a non lethal option get a cattle prod, 5000+ volts with a 3-4 foot reach. It might not incapacitate them but it'll get their attention and make them think twice.

 

[SatsuiNoHado]

The schiavona--hand protection, light weight, reasonably sized blade for use in hallways.

 

[pinkybrief]

 

[feedmelies]

 

[Tuf_guy]

Something about dudes with kitchen knives breaking into your house made me wanna laugh. But it wouldn't be funny if they decided to come after me and my planet of the apes poster (it fills the roll loved ones would in normal homes)

Sounds kinda Clockwork Orange like. In which case, best to get a body builder in speedos to protect you.

Realistically though, you should try to get a gun and smuggle it in. Then have the dudes lay their kitchen knives down and force one to make sex to his droog. If he refuses, shoot him in the knee and reverse the roles. They'll never spread mayhem again.

 

[cartizel]

Broom/mop handle with some poo at the end

lmao

 

[therealdope]

Just get a dog and when they start barking that will usually solve the situation. If not, take off all your clothes and grab the biggest kitchen knife you have. Go running into the room screaming NO ONE one wants to get in a knife fight with a naked guy.

I don't know about that.

Had a friend with a Rottweiler bigger than me. That dog scared the shit of me. Some crack head broke into his house and stole wallets, bikes, money ... like he went in and out a couple of times. I was incredulous and asked him where his dog was. Apparently it was sleeping and the crackhead walked right by it.

I found this to be shocking because this thing was the scariest beast I've ever had to deal with and it didn't do shit when it counted.

 

[Thai Otoshi]

Is that a Nokia? That's gold. Those things were indestructible.

 

[RoryFan]

Buy yourself the most powerful legal gas powered air pistol you can get. I don't care how tough you think you are a dozen metal bb's to the head and body will deter all but the most psychotic meth addict.

 

[DrDune]

IDK. In a big city in a developing country, you can find baseball bats. Even in Burma and Tanzania and shit.

I just think baseball bats are very poorly weighted as weapons.

I keep an ASP baton in the car. The last time I thought about using it was when a local gangster followed me, drove into opposing traffic, cut me off in the middle of an active intersection in broad daylight and came after me. (I have the video from my dashcam.)

I grabbed it and was going to put it directly across his shin to Anderson Silva it (I've practiced the timing on this), then go to work but I looked around, realized there were dozens of cameras on us (in front of the main bus terminal for the city) and with dozens upon dozens of witnesses and me in an insanely conspicuous car, I just got out and had a yelling match with this guy before we went our separate ways.

A gangster drove into opposing traffic to follow you and your first thought is to hit him in the shin?

lol.

 

[TSO]

2 of whatever you choose. Blade is better than blunt. Btw with these the dude wouldn't have a "bleeding arm" they would be lucky to still have an arm.

Not that I want to share how I know this but its way harder to chop an arm off than you'd think.

Those are decent weapons for home defense though.

 

[TSO]

You know Hayes made those up out of whole cloth, right? They were never historically used. But nonetheless if it's shinken and holds up to tameshigiri I'm sure it will handily dispatch an attacker.

Most ninja lore was made up, including ninjitsu.

 

[Real_Magi]

How is this actually a question? History tells us the sword is the obvious answer. There are a ton of stories of people (even in the US) killing intruders with swords. Oh and a stab is far more debilitating than a slice or slash, so you probably want something designed for stabbing, with a fine point. That also means a smaller blade, and the weapon is easier to wield. You'd probably be far better off using a sharpened stick than a fucking bludgeoning weapon like a baseball bat.

 

[MusclesMarinara]

Here's my encounter with edged weapons.
I bought a machete for clearing brush. I figured the saw was to slow on twigs. as was the lopping shears. So why not hack through a bunch of twigs at once?
Well I'm out there playing the guy in the front of the party in a Vietnam war movie. It's hot and I'm sweaty. The next branch is a little thicker. So I get down to it and put my back in to it. The blade goes flying. Corkscrewing through air as falls, the dangerous end finds my ankle. 17 stitches later....
BTW my wife no longer allows me to use the machete. I'm okay with that.

 

[Real_Magi]

Here's my encounter with edged weapons.
I bought a machete for clearing brush. I figured the saw was to slow on twigs. as was the lopping shears. So why not hack through a bunch of twigs at once?
Well I'm out there playing the guy in the front of the party in a Vietnam war movie. It's hot and I'm sweaty. The next branch is a little thicker. So I get down to it and put my back in to it. The blade goes flying. Corkscrewing through air as falls, the dangerous end finds my ankle. 17 stitches later....
BTW my wife no longer allows me to use the machete. I'm okay with that.

Lol! Did it slip our of your hand or was it cheaply made and the blade flew out of the handle?

 

[SMillard]

I don't know about that.

Had a friend with a Rottweiler bigger than me. That dog scared the shit of me. Some crack head broke into his house and stole wallets, bikes, money ... like he went in and out a couple of times. I was incredulous and asked him where his dog was. Apparently it was sleeping and the crackhead walked right by it.

I found this to be shocking because this thing was the scariest beast I've ever had to deal with and it didn't do shit when it counted.

that's surprising, my dogs wake up at the first sound. Once my wife was asleep and farted, both dogs started going crazy. Then to top it off when the dogs started going crazy my African Grey parrot asleep in the living room starts barking too. Sounded like i had a whole pack of vicious animals............. and one really gassy one.

Although both my dogs are under 20 lbs, I don't count on them for protection, more for an alarm. I'd actually put money on the parrot if the three ever got in fight.

 

[SMillard]

Lol! Did it slip our of your hand or was it cheaply made and the blade flew out of the handle?

unless it was a REALLY cheap machete, they pretty much always have retaining screws in the handle that go through the blade. I've never seen a machete that wasn't full tang. I've had cheap plastic handled machetes that have slipped from the hand, get swinging one out in the heat and that shit gets slippery.

 

[MusclesMarinara]

Lol! Did it slip our of your hand or was it cheaply made and the blade flew out of the handle?

Slipped out of my hand. I guess this is why swords have pommels. Home Depot machete, no so much.

I'm familiar with the grip on an 1' 1/8" wrench.... I'll stay there. No edged weapons for me. No need to give the intruder any further advantage.

 

[Zer]

I have a wooden baseball bat. I'm not American though and to me it feels like a shit cricket bat. Completely weightless and unable to do any damage. I've always suspected I got sold a kiddies bat instead of something, say, a legit black person would use