Best home defense melee weapon

[Magooglie]

Sharp Sword. Whenever you hear about some guy breaking into a home of a guy with a sword it never ends well for the criminal. You just wave it around in front of them and it takes off a finger and they're done.

 

[Merlotte's]

Broom/mop handle with some poo at the end

If you're bad people might leave you alone. But if you got shit ain't no one fucking with you.

 

[BornOnMonday]

 

[bandicoot]

Basically short handled long blade knives/machetes. Easy to pick up and use quickly, will seriously injure the intruder if used correctly, and is great for keeping your home invader at bay if a battle ensues.

 

[These Two Hands]

My go-to melee weapon is a duster, always has been since I was in my early teens. Does enough damage to be able to swiftly end an altercation but still justifiable in court (if you're good with your words...). For the home, aside from firearms I have had over the years my favourite melee home defense weapon was a baseball bat with razor ribbon wrapped around and around at the end and held in place with fencing staples. Clears a room really fast.

That being said, I lived in some bad areas as an emancipated youth and needed something to be able to clear a room fast when I had to. So I had good reason for it.

 

[These Two Hands]

Sharp Sword. Whenever you hear about some guy breaking into a home of a guy with a sword it never ends well for the criminal. You just wave it around in front of them and it takes off a finger and they're done.

I've had shinken in the home for years; if I ever had to use one I'd be using the back of the blade to smack the guy around, I wouldn't be cutting unless my life was provably in danger. If you keep swords and it can be proven you know how to use them, the court won't always look favourably on you slicing somebody up even if they broke into your home. Unless you live in an area that protects your rights and safety with castle laws.

 

[Phlog]

I've had shinken in the home for years; if I ever had to use one I'd be using the back of the blade to smack the guy around, I wouldn't be cutting unless my life was provably in danger. If you keep swords and it can be proven you know how to use them, the court won't always look favourably on you slicing somebody up even if they broke into your home. Unless you live in an area that protects your rights and safety with castle laws.

"I was in fear of my life etc"

 

[mushishi]

Sharp Sword. Whenever you hear about some guy breaking into a home of a guy with a sword it never ends well for the criminal. You just wave it around in front of them and it takes off a finger and they're done.

It worked for the guy with the Zelda Sword.

http://www.ign.com/articles/2014/03/03/man-stabbed-with-amaster-sworda-in-domestic-dispute

 

[Magooglie]

I've had shinken in the home for years; if I ever had to use one I'd be using the back of the blade to smack the guy around, I wouldn't be cutting unless my life was provably in danger. If you keep swords and it can be proven you know how to use them, the court won't always look favourably on you slicing somebody up even if they broke into your home. Unless you live in an area that protects your rights and safety with castle laws.

As long as you have a boxset of some anime series in your home as well you'll be cleared of all charges.

 

[Clear Winner]

Eight ball in a sock

Inventive use of coke.

 

[phipps66]

How are your bo staff skills?

Underrated post!

Dog or two?

 

[FinalFight]

 

[punky brewster]

Nothing beats an obedient gimp. I keep mine under the bed, so it's always ready. For the sake of safety, I usually keep it on a leash.

Don't forget to feed it. Food is a strong motivator. Mine will do ANYTHING for a slice of pizza. Last month it strangled and ate the eyballs of some teenager who was walking on my lawn, just for a slice of domino's!

]

 

[therealdope]

Torch/tactical flashlight. The ones that can light up a the side of a hill at 400 yds.

 

[Doughbelly]

When I consider the accounts I've read of sword duelists not realizing they've been stabbed multiple times until after the duel, or of soldiers still fighting or running around after being hit in the body with rifle rounds, I think blunt force is the way to go. I remember seeing a book about WWI weapons and apparently soldiers from both sides carried mace like weapons for melee. They probably have the advantage of not getting stuck like a bayonet would if you stab someone with it. Plus I don't have to worry about the invaders bleeding all over my house and they are probably more likely to be alive at the end.

Well... While incidents of soldiers being shot and people being stabbed and not noticing have happened, that's a little different. Small calibre arms and dedicated late period gentlemanly dueling weapons that are piercing/puncturing, yes people can not realize they've taken a wound.

I myself was stabbed a couple months ago in the wrist and had no idea that it had happened till a good while later when I noticed blood everywhere (on my shirt, pants, floor) and noticed something sticky on my hands. Small puncture wound that I didn't even feel during the scuffle.

Cutting or hacking weapons, no. I've seen a lot of machete wounds and while they can be very survivable, very few are not immediately noticeable or debilitating.

IMO, your best general purpose weapon for hand to hand combat is a late 18th century to early 20th century saber.

 

[Iroh]

Well... While incidents of soldiers being shot and people being stabbed and not noticing have happened, that's a little different. Small calibre arms and dedicated late period gentlemanly dueling weapons that are piercing/puncturing, yes people can not realize they've taken a wound.

I myself was stabbed a couple months ago in the wrist and had no idea that it had happened till a good while later when I noticed blood everywhere (on my shirt, pants, floor) and noticed something sticky on my hands. Small puncture wound that I didn't even feel during the scuffle.

Cutting or hacking weapons, no. I've seen a lot of machete wounds and while they can be very survivable, very few are not immediately noticeable or debilitating.

IMO, your best general purpose weapon for hand to hand combat is a late 18th century to early 20th century saber.

I cut/scraped myself with a cheese scraper yesterday. It was very noticeable.

 

[Osculater]

18 inch Mexican diick

 

[BubbaH]

Get the ten piece set. Stash them all over your house. That way, no matter where you are in the house when the intruder kicks down your door, you'll have his death close at hand.

 

[Pugilistic]

2 of whatever you choose. Blade is better than blunt. Btw with these the dude wouldn't have a "bleeding arm" they would be lucky to still have an arm.

Damn I want that axe.

I've had shinken in the home for years; if I ever had to use one I'd be using the back of the blade to smack the guy around, I wouldn't be cutting unless my life was provably in danger. If you keep swords and it can be proven you know how to use them, the court won't always look favourably on you slicing somebody up even if they broke into your home. Unless you live in an area that protects your rights and safety with castle laws.

Realistically, fucking someone up with a sword or dedicated melee weapon won't be legally accepted where I'm from. This is mostly fantasy as my best bet to be legally safe is to get an intimating looking weapon and hope they get scared off. Self-defense laws are asinine here. There was a case of a dude who beat up two home invaders with his fists by himself, and the court decided he used "too much" force and sentenced him to prison. If I stab someone breaking into my house and I end up killing him, I am afraid I will get charged with murder.

 

[These Two Hands]

"I was in fear of my life etc"

First degree manslaughter etc.

Depends where you live and what your rights are, really.