Best home defense melee weapon

  • Thread starter Thread starter Pugilistic
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Ninja stars. You could throw them at the intruder without them knowing. Make sure you practice plenty beforehand. Just chuck them at wildlife or street animals until you are competent.
 
Inventive use of coke.

R u Jon Jones


My suggestion is homemade explosives like pipe bombs and napalm. I'm all set trying to break in somewhere if pipe bombs start going off. Of course there's the collateral damage to your house but it's a small price to pay for peace of mind and the awesomeness of exploding pipe bombs & napalm
 
A drone with a mounted gun would be sweet.
A bit expensive but cool.

If you have a yard and control the drone remotely it would be an awesome weapon.
Will be a problem in closed spaces though.
 
In the UK, a 6 Cell Maglite is the answer. Since you're liable to prosecution for using disproportionate force, regardless of the situation (i.e. you're protecting your family & property during a break-in), a big Maglite at least can be considered a secondary, not primary weapon. They're well manufactured, heavy duty, and make a decent block/strike weapon, if you're willing to practise swinging it a few times.

I also have a set of side-handled night sticks, should I decide that ensuring the wellbeing of some c*nt that's broken into my house isn't of primary importance. Again, a great block/parry weapon, with the option to strike.

If you went at someone with a knife there's a good chance you'd end up in prison, even in self-defence. The law is deliberately ill-defined in the UK, so lawyers can make lots of money defending people. IMO, the rule should state that if you enter someone's property uninvited, you give up all protection from the state.
 
Not enough "raptor" in this thread.
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Sure my parakeets arent as large, but they are legion.

Hate to break it to you bro, but that's a bird you posted. Not a dinosaur.

Moran.
 
- Mjolnir! The weapon of the coolest Avenger:

EFX00342lg.jpg


If they ask you why you hit someone head with a hammer, you can always say that Hulk fans are delusional.

Clean of chargers.
 
a police baton or a baseball bat ... you don't want to kill the guy, just knock them out ...
 
Gladius ftw

This.

Gladius Machete from Cold Steel. Cheap, sturdy and an excellent weapon/tool. It's double-edged, but also has a very sharp point. And in an enclosed space, it's more efficient to stab than slash.:cool:
 

Things would've happened a lot differently if Ronda was in that office.


A leopard with a chainsaw is bad news. Even ronda fans might think that a leopard with a chainsaw could beat her, if it could make 135.

Dude, nobody's even heard of A Leopard With a Chainsaw before. It doesn't deserve a fight with Ronda - you don't just go from being unknown to fighting the biggest star of mma. It should have to at least win 4 fights in the UFC first.
 
Hit them with your pimp sword cane!

I may or may not allegedly own or know the secreted whereabouts of both a sword cane and a .22 built into a walking cane, which may or may not have sentimental and familial historical value of some sort if they do, in fact, exist.

I'd never, ever, use them to defend the home for the simple fact that while these remain in Schrodinger territory they are safe; if they do, in fact, exist and it became mentioned there is a high likelihood of them being confiscated and destroyed by unpleasant men who smell distinctly of bacon products.
 
In the UK, a 6 Cell Maglite is the answer. Since you're liable to prosecution for using disproportionate force, regardless of the situation (i.e. you're protecting your family & property during a break-in), a big Maglite at least can be considered a secondary, not primary weapon. They're well manufactured, heavy duty, and make a decent block/strike weapon, if you're willing to practise swinging it a few times.

I also have a set of side-handled night sticks, should I decide that ensuring the wellbeing of some c*nt that's broken into my house isn't of primary importance. Again, a great block/parry weapon, with the option to strike.

If you went at someone with a knife there's a good chance you'd end up in prison, even in self-defence. The law is deliberately ill-defined in the UK, so lawyers can make lots of money defending people. IMO, the rule should state that if you enter someone's property uninvited, you give up all protection from the state.

That's a backwards way of thinking. People break into other people's homes out of desperation. You're seriously wanting to potentially injure someone who probably is only breaking into your home because he is hungry or is wanting to feed his family? Sounds very American of you. Just lock yourself in your room or a closet, call the police and wait until they arrive.
 
The best weapon for home defense is: compassion and tolerance for those breaking into your house
 
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