Feature Boy: You reminded me of the story of the preacher who wanted somebody to testify about the clutches of the devil one sunday mornin'. Fella in the back stands up and says, "I'll do it, preacher." Preacher says, "Alright, brother. Come up here and tell it all."
Guy says, "Last month, I took a paycheck and insteada takin' it home to my wife, I spent it all on liquor and booze."
Preacher says, "Tell it all, brother. Tell it all."
Fella says, "Couple weeks ago, I took my paycheck and gambled it all away."
Preacher says, "Tell it all, brother. Tell it all."
Guy says, "Last week, I called my boss and told him I needed the day off. Lied to him sayin' I was sick. I wasn't sick. I laid in bed with my ol' woman all day."
Preacher says, "Tell it all, brother. C'mon, brother, tell it all."
Guy says, "And last Tuesday, I had sex with a goat."
Preacher goes, "Damn, brother. Don't believe I'da told that..."