Anyone know how to attach proximity alarms to cats?

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Clippy, Dec 24, 2016.

  1. Clippy

    Clippy I got too many pots on the stove

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    My black cat sneaks up on my elderly gray cat. I put like 50 bells on him but he found out how to make them quiet.

    I want to rig something to my black cat that alarms when he gets too close to my gray cats collar.

    I just feel bad cause he never leaves her alone. Always sneaks on her and she screams and me and the wife scream and it's getting old :(

    Any ideas ppl?
     
  2. choke you

    choke you strangulation belt

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    Put the black cat in a giant hamster ball
     
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  3. Hattori

    Hattori Green Belt

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    What does colour have anything to do with this you racist
     
  4. Clippy

    Clippy I got too many pots on the stove

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    I literally had this thought lol
     
    choke you likes this.
  5. Clippy

    Clippy I got too many pots on the stove

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    I'm not racist it's just a quick way to distinguish cats.

    One time we played monopoly and the black cat was standing in the bank with the monoploy money. Wife accused him of roobing the bank and I called her racist :p
     
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  6. 22k

    22k ベルセルク Yellow Card

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    yes. get a dog.
     
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  7. Clippy

    Clippy I got too many pots on the stove

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    Wife wants one but we still have 3 cats and trying for a baby and so many house plants there is no more room for more life.
     
    Minotauro Rex Foot and 22k like this.
  8. choke you

    choke you strangulation belt

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    Unless the dog murders all the cats
     
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  9. 22k

    22k ベルセルク Yellow Card

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    so what you're saying is......

    there's no room for me?

    <mma1>
     
    choke you and Clippy like this.
  10. Kraysla

    Kraysla Black Belt

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    Rectum bell. Works every time.
     
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  11. choke you

    choke you strangulation belt

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    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
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  12. ssBaldy

    ssBaldy Russian belt

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    @Clippy , I have a better idea.
    1) Find a place where your elderly cat usually rests and where the black one sneaks up on it. Find a camper position for you with a dominant view.
    2) get a super soaker. I had smth like this as a kid and it was boss. Pump the fuck out of it and you get to spray 30 feet or so.
    [​IMG]
    3) Don camouflage, apply facepaint and shit. Hide in your camper place, so the sneaking younger bastard doesn't know what hit it.
    4) Wait with a patience of a true ninja and when your black cat tries to sneak on your elderly cat, go out guns blazin' and soak its sneaking face to Bolivian.
    [​IMG]
    Your younger cat would not sneak up no more after that.
     
    Slippery Kantus and Clippy like this.
  13. DevilsLettuce

    DevilsLettuce is a bit of a douchebag Banned

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    Staples.
     
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  14. covenant

    covenant Black Belt

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    If you go to your local petstore they now stock proximity collars.

    Just ask.
     
    Clippy likes this.
  15. Sir Galahad

    Sir Galahad Plutonium Belt Platinum Member

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    [​IMG]
     
  16. Kardashians

    Kardashians ☆ sitting on the moon ☽

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    bells on collars is bad okay just had to say!!!
     
  17. Striderx5

    Striderx5 麻ベルト

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    <{fry}>I like reading clippys titles and Making my own story... good ol clippy
     
  18. FyrFytr998

    FyrFytr998 Gemtor Belt

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    Someone said staplers, but I would suggest a hot glue gun.
     
  19. fightingrabbit

    fightingrabbit Banned Banned

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    Shock collar.

    Or cut off it's balls.
     
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  20. Slobodan

    Slobodan Вело ;) Staff Member Senior Moderator

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    God damn Clippy

    {<jordan}
     

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