Anyone know any Bjj/MMA jokes?

DeadAim713 said:
That is so damn funny, but come one, do some research. No 20 year old guy is a red belt.
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funny stuff. i don't mind them calling jiu-jitsu gay - but giving them all high-level belts and spelling it "ju-jitsu"...not cool...
 
Sloth said:
How many Bjj guys does it take to change a lightbulb?


Three, one to screw the bulb in, one to completely change the leverage behind screwing the bulb in and one to claim that Carlos Gracie was in fact the creator of the lightbulb.
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Four actually.


Three, one to screw the bulb in, one to completely change the leverage behind screwing the bulb in and one to claim that Carlos Gracie was in fact the creator of the lightbulb.

Don't forget the one to call everybody creontes!

:D
 
tysnw said:
Four actually.


Three, one to screw the bulb in, one to completely change the leverage behind screwing the bulb in and one to claim that Carlos Gracie was in fact the creator of the lightbulb.

Don't forget the one to call everybody creontes!

:D
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Anyone who made the switch to CFL bulbs is a creonte IMO. Basic, standard light bulbs are the only ones I need.
 
Some out of shape fat kid I work with was talking to me about bjj the other day. He's one of the bosses sons so I try to stay on his good side. Keep in mind that this guys a real toolbag. Every time I see him he talks to me about how he knocked someone out the other night. Now i'm not the type of person who brings this conversation up, in fact, i don't remember how he knows that I train to begin with. I think i might have worn one of the gyms t-shirts to work one day. Anyways, the conversation had a few gems...

him: fucking wrestling, I don't understand why the fuck anyone would even bother with wrestling...

after him talking about how he kicks peoples asses all the time in fights
me: You should come check out the gym I train at...(so i could choke him unconscious).

him: I don't even want to learn the whole ground thing, I mean, if someone gets on top of me i'll just push them off, i'm a standup fighter. The only thing I want to learn is the flying armbar yo, that seems to be like the "it" move these days! (i nod my head, but had no idea what he was talking about). I just want to get into a fight and flying armbar a dude.

he went on to tell stories of getting into fights against ms-13 gangs and knocking people out.

This conversation went on for a long time, and continued every time i saw him that day.

lesson: don't wear your gyms t-shirt to work, ever.
 
Judoinfo.com has a humor section, it is what you are looking for, substitute bjj in place of judo on any of the jokes if you like.
 
zinndawg said:
Some out of shape fat kid I work with was talking to me about bjj the other day. He's one of the bosses sons so I try to stay on his good side. Keep in mind that this guys a real toolbag. Every time I see him he talks to me about how he knocked someone out the other night. Now i'm not the type of person who brings this conversation up, in fact, i don't remember how he knows that I train to begin with. I think i might have worn one of the gyms t-shirts to work one day. Anyways, the conversation had a few gems...

him: fucking wrestling, I don't understand why the fuck anyone would even bother with wrestling...

after him talking about how he kicks peoples asses all the time in fights
me: You should come check out the gym I train at...(so i could choke him unconscious).

him: I don't even want to learn the whole ground thing, I mean, if someone gets on top of me i'll just push them off, i'm a standup fighter. The only thing I want to learn is the flying armbar yo, that seems to be like the "it" move these days! (i nod my head, but had no idea what he was talking about). I just want to get into a fight and flying armbar a dude.

he went on to tell stories of getting into fights against ms-13 gangs and knocking people out.

This conversation went on for a long time, and continued every time i saw him that day.

lesson: don't wear your gyms t-shirt to work, ever.
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Lmao, I used to work with a kid like that. I grappled with him before and I ouchi gari'd him and got scarf hold position on him and kind of tilted up so I put a bunch of pressure on his ribs. His face turned red and he was breathing heavy and he just said "LET ME THE FUCK UP BEFORE I KNOCK YOU OUT".

He was humbled a bit.
 
Sloth said:
How many Bjj guys does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three, one to screw the bulb in, one to completely change the leverage behind screwing the bulb in and one to claim that Carlos Gracie was in fact the creator of the lightbulb.
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I think it takes four.

You forgot one to claim that Eddie Bravo calls it "The Electric Twister!"
 
elbigsam said:
Judoinfo.com has a humor section, it is what you are looking for, substitute bjj in place of judo on any of the jokes if you like.
Click to expand...

We all know that Helio Gracie was the founder of bjj, but do you know who is considered the founder of bjj in America?
Richard Gere, of course. That's why he is called the American Jigoro

BADUMTISS
 
An end for said:
We all know that Helio Gracie was the founder of bjj, but do you know who is considered the founder of bjj in America?
Richard Gere, of course. That's why he is called the American Jigoro

BADUMTISS
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That was so bad that I laughed.
 
An end for said:
We all know that Helio Gracie was the founder of bjj, but do you know who is considered the founder of bjj in America?
Richard Gere, of course. That's why he is called the American Jigoro

BADUMTISS
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Oh man....that's exactly why I started this thread haha!
 
elbigsam said:
Judoinfo.com has a humor section, it is what you are looking for, substitute bjj in place of judo on any of the jokes if you like.
Click to expand...

So take Judo and call it BJJ? I think that was done already :redface: JK
 
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