Relationships Amicably divorced couples

Alphaboy

Alphaboy

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The concept of people who are divorced who remain friendly with each other is just so weird to me. I don't mean the "we have kids together so I'll tolerate you" types, but the types that still seem happy and there is no resentment, sometimes are close friends.

Breaking what was intended to be a life-long commitment doesn't seem like something to take lightly so I imagine divorces are generally nasty due to things like infidelity, abuse, disrespect, financial strife, or otherwise people just getting sick and tired of each other. It's hard to imagine people who don't hate each other's guts deciding "let's not do this anymore."

I was watching 90 Day Fiance, there's this rich guy who married some young Brazilian model. He and his ex-wife are like best buds and talk all the time. I thought it would've been impossible to see your ex-husband with a new woman and not get at least a little bit resentful; it's female nature... hell, it's human nature even. But nope! The ex-wife was so cool with the new girl, treated her like a little sister... EVEN OFFICIATED THEIR WEDDING! :eek:

I'm noticing more shows and movies with this theme, like Ant Man for example (and others I can't think of). I can't complain though it beats the same cliche story that's been written a million times of a fuck up dad, bitchy ex-wife with custody of the kids who marries some Gary Stu lawyer/doctor who the main character hates.

Do you know anyone who is very friendly with their ex? Are you? What's the situaton?
 
My parents got along very well after they divorced. Never stopped arguing when they were married but they still include each other in the other sides family events, vacations, and stuff like that.

I know that couple from 90 day fiancé. Brazilian chick is the bomb.
 
Yeah. Husband and his ex wife had an amicable break up, it just ended. No financial arguments, we met when he was marrying her, but they haven't been in touch in 18 or so years other than legally, because why?

I'm still very good friends with an ex, but he lives in another country. I love him. Ran into some issues a couple of years ago and he did like a 9 hour round trip because he didn't want me having to worry about two big suitcases and a roll along on a train. So he came and collected me then delivered me to my mother, I will never forget that. I value his friendship far more than any sexual thing we had. When we first saw each other after a couple of years when I was back in London and we hugged, we both cried.
 
Kingz said:
My parents got along very well after they divorced. Never stopped arguing when they were married but they still include each other in the other sides family events, vacations, and stuff like that.
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That's strange. There are some people who get along GREAT when they're unmarried and something about being married makes them miserable.

Kingz said:
I know that couple from 90 day fiancé. Brazilian chick is the bomb.
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Oh, yea she's a cutie! Too skinny for me personally but I can be objective.
 
fingercuffs said:
Husband and his ex wife had an amicable break up, it just ended. No financial arguments, we met when he was marrying her
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He was Jonesing for you! Lol


fingercuffs said:
I'm still very good friends with an ex, but he lives in another country. I love him. Ran into some issues a couple of years ago and he did like a 9 hour round trip because he didn't want me having to worry about two big suitcases and a roll along on a train. So he came and collected me then delivered me to my mother, I will never forget that. I value his friendship far more than any sexual thing we had. When we first saw each other after a couple of years when I was back in London and we hugged, we both cried.
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Dang, why the hell'd you end it?
 
Alphaboy said:
He was Jonesing for you! Lol




Dang, why the hell'd you end it?
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I didn't, it just fizzled. We're all gravy again now. I got all fucked off because when he left the company we worked for he tried stealing some of the customers we had together so it all went tits up, a while after, he said he missed me and I really did him as well so we're okay again now.
I do still love him though, you don't really get to have a real laugh with someone and really care passionately but not be able to hug them in two years. I'd have put a ring on it if he hadn't before I met him, he's a really really lovely guy. The 9 hour round trip was because I was back in the UK and he didn't like who I was living with, as soon I called that quits he was straight in the car.

Sometimes people are nice, without ulterior motives. Even though we were talking about it for 4 hours, lol.
 
Every family is different TS..
 
Alphaboy said:
That's strange. There are some people who get along GREAT when they're unmarried and something about being married makes them miserable.
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Never been married, but it's probably easier to love someone when you aren't obligated to deal with the minutiae of their day-to-day personality. Shit has to be draining if it's not someone you mesh near perfectly with.
 
Alphaboy said:
What the...

<Huh2>
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Yup, that was my reaction too. In almost a decade, and hundreds of shows, being a wedding entertainer/DJ that was one of maybe half a dozen shows that went "bad" or I got complaints.
 
Batjester said:
Yup, that was my reaction too. In almost a decade, and hundreds of shows, being a wedding entertainer/DJ that was one of maybe half a dozen shows that went "bad" or I got complaints.
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Do tell
 
I actually imagine this becoming more of the norm in the age of people getting married more just to have a wedding rather than an actual deep, loving connection
 
Im sure it happens but yea that shits rare. Forget about ex marriages being amicable, even just a random ex bf/gf relationship can harbor hard feelings forever lol.

Like you will have a freaking old lady, married to someone else and happy but still be like fuck that guy I dated in college 2 decades ago lol

Women never forget and rarely forgive.
 
I think it’s conceptually a very refreshing thing. Most situations I can think of among friends and relatives is, essentially a complete cutting out of an ex from one’s life- these are of course more like break ups of long term relationships sans kids or ring rather than marriages but still.

I think the notion that two people couldn’t quite make it work as a couple but still care for one another and have some degree of a friendship is not a bad thing at all.

The tough part is the way that it comes across to subsequent intimate partners. From their perspective, a close connection with a former girlfriend or boyfriend is a red flag and might justifiably be considered problematic or unusual.

But I’m all for it in the right circumstances. Not every break up should have to be characterized by perpetual ill will or by initial ill will followed by indifference and distance.
 
RollSonnenRoll said:
Do tell
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When I'm working a wedding, or any event, I'm engaged with the crowd. Dancing, goofing around, having fun with people.. you know, being entertaining. These idiots (and I'm pretty sure it all stemmed from her mom) just wanted a fucking juke box.

Even when I pressed them for what they wanted me to play, the only response I got was "Play the 80's". Big freaking help that was (especially since I had been hitting the 80's hard all night).
 
fingercuffs said:
Yeah. Husband and his ex wife had an amicable break up, it just ended. No financial arguments, we met when he was marrying her, but they haven't been in touch in 18 or so years other than legally, because why?

I'm still very good friends with an ex, but he lives in another country. I love him. Ran into some issues a couple of years ago and he did like a 9 hour round trip because he didn't want me having to worry about two big suitcases and a roll along on a train. So he came and collected me then delivered me to my mother, I will never forget that. I value his friendship far more than any sexual thing we had. When we first saw each other after a couple of years when I was back in London and we hugged, we both cried.
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Just like Kevin Arnold and Winnie Cooper.
tenor.gif
 
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