- Joined
- Sep 18, 2008
- Messages
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Just when you thought it was safe to open a can of baked beans, the asshole wizard emerges from the can and casts a spell!
*Poof*
You open your eyes and suddenly you're not in your house anymore. You're on skid row. You're dressed like a bum and you smell like one too.
The wizard says he will grant you the following superpower if you can live here like a bum for one year. You're not allowed to "get back on your feet" in any way during the year or you won't get the power. No staying with friends/family, no getting a job, etc. you can panhandle, do drugs, and other bum activities only. If loved ones find you, the only explanation you're allowed to give is "leave me alone. I belong to the streets now"
The super power you gain by successfully completing your bum year is that you can mind control humans one at a time (not wizards, unfortunately) but it takes a ton of effort and concentration so you can only keep it up for 5-7 seconds and you're exhausted afterwards. So you couldn't force bezos to give you all his money because that would involve hours and days worth of paperwork. But you could force him to suddenly smack the person next to him, for instance. You must be within 25 feet with direct line of sight for this to work. Bezos will remember doing it but he won't understand why he did it.
If you decline this offer, the wizard leaves you sitting on skid row with no money or phone, and says "good luck getting home, wuss"
Why?
Because they don't call him the friendly wizard, that's why.
Do you take the deal?
*Poof*
You open your eyes and suddenly you're not in your house anymore. You're on skid row. You're dressed like a bum and you smell like one too.
The wizard says he will grant you the following superpower if you can live here like a bum for one year. You're not allowed to "get back on your feet" in any way during the year or you won't get the power. No staying with friends/family, no getting a job, etc. you can panhandle, do drugs, and other bum activities only. If loved ones find you, the only explanation you're allowed to give is "leave me alone. I belong to the streets now"
The super power you gain by successfully completing your bum year is that you can mind control humans one at a time (not wizards, unfortunately) but it takes a ton of effort and concentration so you can only keep it up for 5-7 seconds and you're exhausted afterwards. So you couldn't force bezos to give you all his money because that would involve hours and days worth of paperwork. But you could force him to suddenly smack the person next to him, for instance. You must be within 25 feet with direct line of sight for this to work. Bezos will remember doing it but he won't understand why he did it.
If you decline this offer, the wizard leaves you sitting on skid row with no money or phone, and says "good luck getting home, wuss"
Why?
Because they don't call him the friendly wizard, that's why.
Do you take the deal?
