People on this board are always complaining about UFC Championship matchmaking. Woodley gets to fight on a 2 fight winstreak! Bisping gets to fight on short notice! People who complain of such things know nothing of UFC history. Of the epically shitty, undeserved title-shots the UFC has passed like party favours. Well, worry no longer, you slack-jawed proles, because I am compiling a complete list of all of the UFC title fights for each weightclass, with my own personal pick for most flabbergasting matchmaking, along with a helpful explanation as to why I am right. If you disagree, feel free to shut up. You are wrong and have much to learn. The rest of you, I hope you enjoy. This post will be about heavyweight, mostly because it has some of the most fucked up matchmaking. The rest will follow if/when I feel like it. Heavyweight: First, the history of the title: Mark Coleman def. Dan Severn Maurice Smith def. Mark Coleman Maurice Smith def. Tank Abbott (the first embarrassing mismatch in UFC HW championship history. Notably not the last). Randy Couture def. Maurice Smith (note: Randy subsequently vacated the title. All subsequent champs made of paper for a while.) Bas Rutten def. Kevin Randleman (note: Bas subsequently vacated title, following the trend set by the Natural) Kevin Randleman def. Pete Williams Kevin Randleman def. Pedro Rizzo Randy Couture def. Kevin Randleman Randy Couture def. Pedro Rizzo Randy Couture def. Pedro Rizzo (first back-to-back title challenges! A proud UFC tradition begins!) Josh Barnett def. Randy Couture (Barnett is later stripped due to a failed drug test, beginning a proud tradition at being the most incompetent man in MMA at passing drug tests). Ricco Rodriguez def. Randy Couture Tim Sylvia def. Ricco Rodriguez (The Sylvia era begins.). Tim Sylvia def. Gan McGee (Sylvia stripped for failing a post fight drug test. Anyone who complains about the USADA screwing up championship fights does not know their UFC history very well at all. It is a longstanding tradition). Frank Mir def. Tim Sylvia (Tim Sylvia, in a first in UFC history, gets a championship fight off of a failed drug test. Stay classy, ZUFFA.) Andrei Arlovski def. Tim Sylvia (This is technically an interim championship fight. Frank is, naturally, stripped of the title for getting into a motorcycle accident, because we can't have nice things, at which point AA is 'promoted' to undisputed champion). Andrei Arlovski def. Justin Eilers (interim) Andrei Arlovski def. Paul Buentello Tim Sylvia def. Andrei Arlovski Tim Sylvia def. Andrei Arlovski (these fights happened less than 3 months apart, resulting in what should have merely been the most terrible trilogy in MMA's young history, but actually later became its shittiest tetralogy. At least their last fight wasn't for a title). Tim Sylvia def. Jeff Monson Randy Couture def. Tim Sylvia Randy Couture def. Gabriel Gonzaga Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira def. Tim Sylvia (Another interim belt, since Randy refused to fight Big Nog.) Brock Lesnar def. Randy Couture Frank Mir def. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira (interim, natch) Brock Lesnar def. Frank Mir (Hooray! The title is unified again!) Shane Carwin def. Frank Mir (interim, because titles aren't meant to stay unified) Brock Lesnar def. Shane Carwin Cain Velasquez def. Brock Lesnar Junior dos Santos def. Cain Velasquez Junior dos Santos def. Frank Mir Cain Velasquez def. Junior dos Santos Cain Velasquez def. Antonio Silva Cain Velasquez def. Junior dos Santos Fabricio Werdum def. Mark Hunt (interim, because Cain is made of glass) Fabricio Werdum def. Cain Velasquez Stipe Miocic def. Fabricio Werdum ----- From reviewing the above, I trust everyone is reminded of why heavyweight is shit, and why hope is dead. In very particular order, my picks for the most indefensible title matchups in UFC History: 3) Andrei Arlovski def. Justin Eilers. This fight was a travesty. Justin Eilers was coming off of a loss to Paul Buentello by KO, and had no business at all in the cage with Arlovski, who was riding a respectable 4 fight win streak, all by submission or KO at the time. The only reason this isn't higher on the list is that it was only for an interim title, and because I don't wish to speak ill of the dead. 2) Frank Mir def. Tim Sylvia Look, Tim Sylvia was (depressingly) one of the best UFC Heavyweights of his era. I get that. I really do. But giving someone a championship fight off of a failed drug test, when you stripped them of the belt for failing a drug test less than a year ago, is pretty disreputable. 1) Randy Couture def. Tim Sylvia I will lead off by saying that Randy is a great fighter and had the capacity to hang with or beat any fighter on the planet in his day. That being said, he has been the beneficiary of the most egregious matchmaking in UFC history. Randy fought for a UFC title at LHW or HW an astounding 9 times in a row, losing an impressive 4 of those fights. He fought for a UFC title in 13 out of 14 fights between 2001 and 2008, with an 8-6 record. Randy has lost 6 UFC title fights. let that sink in for a moment. God willing, no one will ever equal that record. When Randy fought Tim Sylvia in March 2007, he had not fought at HW in 5 years. His last two fights at heavyweight had been brutal stoppage losses. His last fight had been a KO loss to Chuck Liddell at a lower weight class. Giving Randy the Sylvia title fight was the most godawful thing Zuffa ever did in the Heavyweight division. There was no excuse for it beyond the fact that Randy was popular, and Sylvia was not. Honourable Mention: Maurice Smith def. Tank Abbott. Tank was on a 2 fight losing streak, but this was 1997, in the pre-Zuffa era and he was a late replacement. It is honestly lucky they didn't have Smith fight a mannequin for the title. ---- Well, those are my picks. You do you, Sherdog.