2017 PotWR Round 3: The Jungle Primary

[Lead]

BREAKING News.from VIVALEAKS:

From: PCPTORNADO
To: [email protected] Date: 2008-10-04 20:41 Subject: Comet on Podesta.

Great show! Great speech. Raised over 40 grand. My only regret is I did not make you a nice pizza. When can I?


----------------------------------

From: RATIONALPOSTER
To: [email protected]
CC: [email protected]
Date: 2014-09-02 17:54
Subject: Did you leave a handkerchief
Hi John, The realtor found a handkerchief (I think it has a map that seems pizza-related. Is it yorus? They can send it if you want. I know you're busy, so feel free not to respond if it's not yours or you don't want it.

--------------------------------

From: HOMERTHOMPSON
To: [email protected]
CC: [email protected]
Date: 2014-09-02 17:54
SUJECTominos

Do you think I’ll do better playing dominos on cheese than on pasta?


---------------------------

From:SNAKEDAFUNKY
To: [email protected], [email protected]
Date: 2009-12-20 16:06
Subject: Fwd: Dupuytren’s Advance Info for John Podesta
Hoping this gets to you from my close friend and fellow-hand-sufferer, Patrick Schmidt. We had a Luzzattopalooza yesterday, with Marisa-Paul-10 month Evie staying with us already while their house gets painted, and Ben-Alex sledding their 3 over to “help” us decorate the tree. When the parents got back to retrieve children, they threw in the towel (and about 19 pieces of winter clothing) to stay for tortellini and an overnight. So, 6 grownups with 2 toddlers and 2 infants spread throughout the house, and sure enough one of those toddlers was rubbing my nose at 5:45…

Best attempt yet. We needed this from you two threads ago.

 

[colby25]

No, that would only increase the risk of getting elected. And I heard you'd be embarrassed?

That's affirmative sir.

Its too late. I gave A powerful speech that shook sherdog to its core.

Make me president jdragon. For your chance to play me at one on one in basketball. Dream come true for any true sherdogger.

 

[VivaRevolution]

Best attempt yet. We needed this from you two threads ago.

Indeed, but snakdafunky has been killing it, and has 1 vote.

This is a popularity contest.

 

[Lead]

Indeed, but snakdafunky has been killing it, and has 1 vote.

This is a popularity contest.

I have it 50% popularity, 40% hustle, 10% policy

 

[colby25]

I have it 50% popularity, 40% hustle, 10% policy

Let's cut to the chase @Lead

This president thing is small potatoes... What do I do to become mod?

 

[VivaRevolution]

I have it 50% popularity, 40% hustle, 10% policy

This is rough on me. Usually my good looks and intelligence keep me having to try hard.

 

[Lead]

This is rough on me. Usually my good looks and intelligence keep me having to try hard.

I would think you have more popularity than snaked so if you upped the hustle, you'd have to do pretty well. It is late to consider this though. The fact you have cubo as a vp and got Aungs vote must mean you got some potential

 

[Lead]

Let's cut to the chase @Lead

This president thing is small potatoes... What do I do to become mod?

 

[Ceez]

So for those of you who have voted who's out in the lead since I can't see the results. Which classless fucks voted for themselves as well so I know who not to vote for

 

[Limbo Pete]

You are the Missouri of the War Room.

Got a hearty laugh outta me

 

[JDragon]

So for those of you who have voted who's out in the lead since I can't see the results. Which classless fucks voted for themselves as well so I know who not to vote for

senri could use a vote

 

[Limbo Pete]

senri could use a vote

I'm leaning heavily toward a Senri vote. He's clearly the most capable steward for our nexus.

 

[weed]

you busters watching z fights?

 

[Ceez]

senri could use a vote

I'm not sure what to make of Senri..

I would have my knife or a rusty screwdriver in my back pocket though if it was real life until I figured it out. All that talk about gaping my nexus

 

[VivaRevolution]

 

[colby25]

So for those of you who have voted who's out in the lead since I can't see the results. Which classless fucks voted for themselves as well so I know who not to vote for

That would be me sir.

 

[Space]

@Space was cooler when he was @Rex Kwon Do

dont vote for him either

 

[VivaRevolution]

11 Reasons To Vote Vivarevolution 2018


"You've Done Worse, and You Know It"



Who are you voting for in November? Many people aren't thrilled with the major party candidates this year, but thankfully, there are other options. One passionate activist and candidate, Vivarevolution, has been running for President, and he has some very unique views. If you are having trouble supporting the lesser of two evils, here's why Vivarevolution may be the candidate for you.



1. His incredible and distinct fashion sense







Want a change from the traditional image of the President? Vivarevolutions signature boot hat is like nothing this country has seen before.



2. A free pony for every American




Vivarevolution's pony policy is a job creation program that will help combat lack of public transportation and climate change by reducing fossil fuel consumption. And who doesn't want a free pony?



3. Mandatory toothbrushing laws







Ever talked to someone with bad breath? Not on President Viva's watch!



4. Zombie apocalypse awareness





Not only will Viva make sure the U.S. is prepared for the zombie apocalypse, he will harness zombie power using the latest in hamster-wheel technology.



5. Federally funded time travel research

Vivarevolution is the only candidate who "[URL='http://bennorton.com/2016-us-presidential-election-endorsement-vermin-supreme/']will go back in time and kill baby Hitler before he’s even born."[/URL]


6. Monkey tooth fairies







Viva has mentioned his idea of genetically engineering a race of winged monkeys to act as tooth fairies.



7. His honesty








Vivarevolution is a self-proclaimed "friendly fascist" with a refreshing honesty. Supreme says he is a politician who will lie and "promise your electorate heart anything you desire" because he has no reason not to. Hey, at least he's willing to admit it.



8. He's multitalented







Mr. Viva's closing statement at the WR town hall including an original song about himself set to the tune of the chicken dance.



9. He glitter-bombed politician Randall Terry who opposed same-sex marriage during a party debate





He actually threw glitter on him during a Democratic party debate. Enough said.



10. He's dedicated





Viva has been running in local, state and national elections since the 1980s!



11. Why not?

 

[Ceez]

That would be me sir.

Noted

 

[Limbo Pete]

This is the kind of post that appeals to the Limbo Pete demographic