Opinion 🔥 Democracy: The Two-Party Dumpster Fire Edition 🔥 (TL;DR Is Not Your Friend)

[MetalMilitia]

1. Of course I didn't read your essay, feel free to provide bullet points sinc eno one will read that shit.
2. I didn't miss the point, I was responding to another poster who mentioned PR systems, not you.

Lobbyists and corporations exist in every democracy, if you want to crack down on them, feel free to. You would just have to get the Supreme Court to reverse Citizens United.

You’re totally right, my bad -- expecting someone to read for 5-10 minutes in 2025 was a bold strategy -- I’ll release the audiobook version with fart noises between paragraphs so no one strains themselves thinking. I will make a note of your comment for when I release the sequel -- "Democracy 247 -- Now With Less Reading Comprehension..."

 

[Seano]

I like the idea of multiple parties with ranked choice voting. The two party system is beyond corrupted

We have ranked choice in Maine, I don't care for it. It led to a losing candidate winning up here.

 

[avenue94]

You’re totally right, my bad -- expecting someone to read for 5-10 minutes in 2025 was a bold strategy -- I’ll release the audiobook version with fart noises between paragraphs so no one strains themselves thinking. I will make a note of your comment for when I release the sequel -- "Democracy 247 -- Now With Less Reading Comprehension..."

I'll read 5-10 minutes if it's a complex argument or there's a coherent point. I'm not reading that long if it's a screed that can be summarized in a couple bullet points. Guess which category yours falls into.

 

[MetalMilitia]

I'll read 5-10 minutes if it's a complex argument or there's a coherent point. I'm not reading that long if it's a screed that can be summarized in a couple bullet points. Guess which category yours falls into.

Don’t worry, man -- reading’s not for everyone.

Some people just comment as recreation -- I’ll aim for single-syllable words and more bullet points with the follow up smash hit part 3 -- "Democracy -- chapter 248 -- Came into a TL;DR Warning Thread to Spend More Time Explaining Why I Didn't Read Than Actually Reading."

The kids are gonna love it.

 

[avenue94]

Don’t worry, man -- reading’s not for everyone.

Some people just comment as recreation -- I’ll aim for single-syllable words and more bullet points with the follow up smash hit part 3 -- "Democracy -- chapter 248 -- Came into a TL;DR Warning Thread to Spend More Time Explaining Why I Didn't Read Than Actually Reading."

The kids are gonna love it.

If you'd read the room (thread), you'd kind of see you did a shit job of starting the thread and discussion precisely because no one wanted to read the word salad. You do you.

 

[Aurelian]

Two party system is objectively bad.

What we need to maintain democracy is a system where voters get presented with a list of maybe 50 or more different single issue policy ideas they can vote on each election cycle.

 

[avenue94]

Two party system is objectively bad.

What we need to maintain democracy is a system where voters get presented with a list of maybe 50 or more different single issue policy ideas they can vote on each election cycle.

I don't see how that's remotely practical since no democracy I know of does this regularly.

Do you have a democracy in mind that you think the US should emulate, since you don't like two-party systems?

 

[Aurelian]

I don't see how that's remotely practical since no democracy I know of does this regularly.

Do you have a democracy in mind that you think the US should emulate, since you don't like two-party systems?

I think all policy decisions should be put in the hands of voters directly.

No more bundling a shit ton of ideas together and presenting it as the only choice.

 

[avenue94]

I think all policy decisions should be put in the hands of voters directly.

No more bundling a shit ton of ideas together and presenting it as the only choice.

You might as well wish for unicorns and rainbows at this rate.

Americans are already free to vote for candidates they want, those candidates just aren't guaranteed to be viable.

 

[Aurelian]

You might as well wish for unicorns and rainbows at this rate.

Americans are already free to vote for candidates they want, those candidates just aren't guaranteed to be viable.

No more candidates. No more parties.

 

[avenue94]

No more candidates. No more parties.

And what happens when an event, like an economic crash or war, comes up and you need policy decisions made?

 

[MetalMilitia]

If you'd read the room (thread), you'd kind of see you did a shit job of starting the thread and discussion precisely because no one wanted to read the word salad. You do you.

“You do you”

That’s exactly what I did, sir -- wrote and posted an actual article instead of the standard bullshit (D)/(R) copy pasta we get here 24/7. If that’s a “shit job” -- then I’ll happily keep doing shitty work while the rest of the place (well aware of the room and crowd) copy-pastes lobby-written material handed down to the two-parties.

Have a great rest of the day!

 

[Aurelian]

And what happens when an event, like an economic crash or war, comes up and you need policy decisions made?

There would still be elected leaders. I meant no candidates in the context of a specific political party as political parties would no longer exist.

I'm not saying my solution is rounded out or perfected, but what we have now is sending us into a death spiral. Voters should hold all the power in setting the policies of the day. They shouldn't be forced to pick a side where dozens of issues are bundled together with some they agree with and some they disagree with.

Let voters individually decide on things like healthcare, taxes, climate change, abortion, gun control, education etc. You get the point.

 

[avenue94]

There would still be elected leaders. I meant no candidates in the context of a specific political party as political parties would no longer exist.

I'm not saying my solution is rounded out or perfected, but what we have now is sending us into a death spiral. Voters should hold all the power in setting the policies of the day. They shouldn't be forced to pick a side where dozens of issues are bundled together with some they agree with and some they disagree with.

Let voters individually decide on things like healthcare, taxes, climate change, abortion, gun control, education etc. You get the point.

So why has no democracy tried this idea?

No one is expecting rounded out or perfect solutions, but they should at least be feasible.

 

[IanEdwards]

“You do you”

That’s exactly what I did, sir -- wrote and posted an actual article instead of the standard bullshit (D)/(R) copy pasta we get here 24/7. If that’s a “shit job” -- then I’ll happily keep doing shitty work while the rest of the place (well aware of the room and crowd) copy-pastes lobby-written material handed down to the two-parties.

Have a great rest of the day!

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Welcome to “Democracy: The Two-Party Dumpster Fire Edition -- Extended Cut with Director’s Commentary, Remastered for Idiocy & Total Lack of Awareness -- now streaming as Season 247 of Outrage! The Musical -- and soon to be a featured all-midgets-only Pornhub Special (members-only, limited edition, terms and conditions apply, one per customer) -- and introducing the never-ending DLC update Lobbyists Strike Back and the bonus spin-off Make Everyone Groan Again” -- Because democracy deserves the full parody treatment. (Brought to you by Carl’s Jr.)
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as honest objective feedback: there was a poster on a site I used to frequent who had a very similar writing style, and he too fell significantly short of the engagement he was looking for from his OPs (he posted a LOT of them, too).

What he didn't seem to realise was that the writing style, which if I call it self-indulgent will sound like a criticism but it is what it is, the constant 'jokes' in sidebars, parentheses/etc, were incredibly distracting from whatever the point of his post was. Honestly dude if you think any lack of engagement is the reader's fault, you are the problem, because your 'style' is the exact opposite of user-friendly. I've done very similar myself when in certain moods, I get it. But the constant desire you seem to have to add, ummm, 'flavour' to whatever points you are trying to make, is absolute death to readability.

You’re totally right, my bad -- expecting someone to read for 5-10 minutes in 2025 was a bold strategy -- I’ll release the audiobook version with fart noises between paragraphs so no one strains themselves thinking. I will make a note of your comment for when I release the sequel -- "Democracy 247 -- Now With Less Reading Comprehension..."

But, please, don't make it about other people not being able to concentrate, like its some symptom of the modern age and all the ills of it. This is definitely a you-problem, because your prose style as in the OP sucks. The 'jokes' add nothing, they detract.

 

[MetalMilitia]

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Welcome to “Democracy: The Two-Party Dumpster Fire Edition -- Extended Cut with Director’s Commentary, Remastered for Idiocy & Total Lack of Awareness -- now streaming as Season 247 of Outrage! The Musical -- and soon to be a featured all-midgets-only Pornhub Special (members-only, limited edition, terms and conditions apply, one per customer) -- and introducing the never-ending DLC update Lobbyists Strike Back and the bonus spin-off Make Everyone Groan Again” -- Because democracy deserves the full parody treatment. (Brought to you by Carl’s Jr.)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

as honest objective feedback: there was a poster on a site I used to frequent who had a very similar writing style, and he too fell significantly short of the engagement he was looking for from his OPs (he posted a LOT of them, too).

What he didn't seem to realise was that the writing style, which if I call it self-indulgent will sound like a criticism but it is what it is, the constant 'jokes' in sidebars, parentheses/etc, were incredibly distracting from whatever the point of his post was. Honestly dude if you think any lack of engagement is the reader's fault, you are the problem, because your 'style' is the exact opposite of user-friendly. I've done very similar myself when in certain moods, I get it. But the constant desire you seem to have to add, ummm, 'flavour' to whatever points you are trying to make, is absolute death to readability.

You’re totally right, my bad -- expecting someone to read for 5-10 minutes in 2025 was a bold strategy -- I’ll release the audiobook version with fart noises between paragraphs so no one strains themselves thinking. I will make a note of your comment for when I release the sequel -- "Democracy 247 -- Now With Less Reading Comprehension..."

But, please, don't make it about other people not being able to concentrate, like its some symptom of the modern age and all the ills of it. This is definitely a you-problem, because your prose style as in the OP sucks. The 'jokes' add nothing, they detract.

Just my opinion and style, sir. If you want, go paste it in your AI of choice and it should sterilize the human components you don't seem to enjoy.

Thanks for the feedback. (Had to edit this... I realized I forgot to add my favorite component of writing with self-aware meta bullshit -- when pointing out the bullshit) -- It's comin' up on 6am. Kinda didn't address the subject at hand -- but good analysis of my writing style.

P.S -- it reads like a "routine" (stand up bit) -- because that's how I hear it being laid out in my brain. If I wanted to write talking points for the two-party system -- like fuck fukin' lobbyists do -- well, then you missed some other key points of the piece anyways.

 

[MetalMilitia]

20 seconds later...

This piece wasn't meant for publication, it was meant for satire on yer very own sherdog -- However, since you apparently have no inner-monologue to read satire -- or follow along -- all hail our almighty AI overlords... the ones that undoubtedly help the lobbyists write the shit they pass to the (D) and (R) that give marching orders

Enjoy!

1. Opening Credits: Democracy — The Parody Edition​

Welcome to “Democracy: The Two-Party Dumpster Fire Edition” — Extended Cut, with Director’s Commentary, Remastered for Idiocy & Total Lack of Awareness.


Now streaming as Season 247 of Outrage! The Musical, and coming soon as the all-midgets-only Pornhub Special (members-only, limited edition, terms & conditions apply, one per customer).


Introducing:

• The never-ending DLC Lobbyists Strike Back
• Bonus spin-off Make Everyone Groan Again

Because democracy deserves the full parody treatment.
(Brought to you by Carl’s Jr.)

---

2. The Blame Game​

(D) blames (R) for everything wrong with the world.
(R) blames (D) right back.
The rest of us? We’re stuck footing the bill for their therapy sessions.


Both sides call it democracy — but it’s really pro wrestling with better actors and sharper promo skills.


The system feeds on division, because peace doesn’t trend (sorry — I meant sell).


They don’t run on results.
They run on fear, outrage, and the joy of making the other side the enemy.

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3. The Great American Villain Show​

Both parties swear they’re fighting evil — and honestly, they’re right, because they’re fighting each other.


They sell the fantasy that half the country is made of villains:
Pick your flavor — “woke Marxists” or “fascist rednecks.”


Meanwhile, behind the velvet curtain, lobbyists hand politicians their scripts.
Taxpayers get screwed, and corporations like ExxonMobil bankroll both sides — while writing off the outrage as a business expense.


We’re not voting for leaders anymore.
We’re picking salespeople for the same broken system — and somehow cheering while they rob us.

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4. America: Designer Decay​

While these two cults scream at each other (yeah, cults), the country’s rotting from the inside out:

• Housing: Unaffordable.
• Healthcare: Hostage situation with co-pays.
• Infrastructure: Congrats, we upgraded from a C– to a C!
• Public discourse: Somewhere between reality show and bar fight.

We’re a third-world nation in designer merch — waving party flags while wearing hospital gowns and calling them capes.

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5. The Two-Party Hostage Crisis​

Congress can’t pass basic legislation without treating it like a hostage negotiation.
(Unless it’s military funding — that always passes overnight.)


The two-party system doesn’t solve problems anymore — it creates them, then sells you the cure.


Every “issue” is just ammo to keep the war going.
The middle and lower class bleed while billionaires buy yachts named Trickle Down.
Cute name. Brutal metaphor.

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6. The Independent’s Dilemma​

Being an independent-centrist isn’t “riding the fence.”
It’s standing midfield while both sides fire literal shit from trebuchets.


It’s not indecision — it’s perspective.


All I’m asking: think outside of party lines.
No hidden agenda. Just critical thought.


If you can’t do that — can’t question the narrative — ask yourself what you actually contribute to this democracy.


And remember: not everything is federal-level nonsense.
(Except the crimes — those go federal real quick.)

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7. What Real Independence Looks Like​

“Center-independentism” (yeah, it’s a ridiculous word) isn’t about being neutral.
It’s about saying, “Both sides look dumb — and here’s why.”


And maybe — just maybe — compromise isn’t cowardice.
It’s progress.


Think about it:

• Infrastructure bill → Bipartisan.
• Veterans care expansion → Bipartisan.
• Criminal justice reform → Bipartisan.
• Iraq War and PATRIOT Act → Yeah, we messed that one up.

Most real progress happens when both sides shut up long enough to work together.
That’s not weakness — that’s adulthood.


Once upon a time, that was called governing.

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8. Fence-Sitters and Foundation Builders​

So mock the centrists if you want.
Call them “fence-sitters.”


But taking a step back and realizing how absurd both sides are isn’t indecision — it’s maintenance of the foundation.
And that foundation is cracking under the weight of partisan bullshit.


“Intercenterpendentenism” (try saying that three times fast) isn’t the enemy.
They’re the ones with the shovel, cleaning the mess from your left-vs-right trebuchet war.


The real enemy?
The system that convinced you that division and hatred are patriotic.

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9. The “Solutions” (That Will Never Pass)​

You want solutions? Fine. Rapid-fire time:

• Lock the lobbyists out of the goddamn building.
• Publicly fund campaigns — no billionaire sugar daddies.
• Add ranked-choice voting — stop choosing between Tweedle(D)umb and Tweedleco(R)rupt.
• Torch the tax loopholes.
• Impose Congressional term limits.

It’s not rocket science — it’s honesty.
Which is exactly why it’ll never pass the House.

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10. The Dream — Building Something That Works​

We could start fixing things tomorrow.
Imagine the miracles if left and right stopped jerking off to outrage long enough to build something that actually works.


Until then —
enjoy your regularly scheduled outrage programming.