Is there a cognitive dissonance when people say having kids is so great?

[HIMBOB]

My wife and I are sick as shit and are at home looking after our 13 month old.

This is not a highlight of the parenting experience but i love him more than anything.

It's not all sunshine and lollipops but its amazing and once again it's not something you can understand without trying it.

Its hilarious how people with zero experience can suggest they know more than those who do.

 

[lts5025]

No offense, but I think most of you younger guys that have decided against kids really don't have enough life experience to know WHAT you want, and things are likely to change for you at some point in the future. And that's ok.

But the older guys who are still confirmed in their anti-parenthood views are the real irony. They're self-aware, introspective, and likely very intelligent...and would probably make great parents, or at least have high quality genes to pass on.

Oh well, the world will keep getting dumber.

I'm 36. My wife and I both have graduate degrees, make decent money, have no criminal or medical issues and are both fairly cultured and well-traveled. I think our children, if we chose to have them, would be hardworking, ethical and intelligent world citizens.

However, I believe that because we have accomplished a fair bit, and are willing and able to accomplish and experience a bit more that we feel no desire for children and that children would have a dramatically negative impact our lifestyle.

 

[steve38]

I'm 36. My wife and I both have graduate degrees, make decent money, have no criminal or medical issues and are both fairly cultured and well-traveled. I think our children, if we chose to have them, would be hardworking, ethical and intelligent world citizens.

However, I believe that because we have accomplished a fair bit, and are willing and able to accomplish and experience a bit more that we feel no desire for children and that children would have a dramatically negative impact our lifestyle.

Yeah, you're a great example of what I mentioned. Getting it all out of your system is one thing, but it's tough for some people to settle down once they have grown wings. I was enjoying the single life and travel so much I didn't even marry and have kids until my 40's. And you obviously aren't the type to cave into peer pressure, but are you or your wife feeling the pull with her clock ticking?

 

[Turtlejuice]

Not sure how this applies to humans, as the type of people that reproduce at the most rapid rate in most societies are degenerates who just keep breeding. Just look at the general population, it's nothing but crack babies after crack babies and trailer parks that continue to grow with a bunch of next generation meth heads. It's the successful or level-headed humans who have children at a very late age or decide not to have them at all. The act of breeding is something taken for granted and it's done by mostly people who shouldn't be passing any offspring. (See the film, Idiocracy). Just look at large metropolitan cites with striving economies. They're full of single people who are in their mid 30's and early 40's and then look at small towns with a bunch of people with less than developed minds that consist of families of parents who all had their first child and got married by the age of 19. It's no wonder that so many people don't want to have children in a world full of imbeciles. Now, I do know quite a few responsible, good people out there who have a few children of their own, but consider the other children that they're being exposed to. Now, are you going to blame the people who stopped having children or the mistakes of the world passing on more mistakes that make your child's life miserable? Having a child in itself is no accomplishment, and that's proven time and again and as time passes the case is only getting stronger for people who don't want to have children. People should be thankful that there are some responsible individuals out there making a decision that having a child just wouldn't be right for them.

I agree with you in part, too many people that shouldn't have kids are having kids. The problem with all the successful people (or people that should have kids) not having kids is that, in 30 years time you'll have a species of degenerate leading degenerates.

IT's like the phrase "bad men succeed because good men do nothing". The world is full of imbeciles because the people that can change that, are not.

 

[Turtlejuice]

Actually there is only one alpha male in a wolf pack. And it only mates with the alpha female. Monogamous motherfuckers.

The male wolves who can't find a female (aka the weaker wolves) don't just sit around jerking off, they go and find free females from other packs to have sex with. They aren't monogamous though, they fuck em and flee. These weaker wolves are the deadbeat daddies of the animal kingdom.

None of this shit has to do with humans though. We aren't living in nature, we aren't exposed to any of the dangers that would make "survival of the fittest" relevant. It doesn't matter how strong you are.

Actually, there are no alpha wolves in a wolf pack. The guy that led that theory spent most of his career trying to erase it.

http://scienceblogs.com/clock/2009/08/23/no-more-alpha-male/

 

[Fox by the Sea]

i am 36. i might have a kid or i might not. i don't know how life will be.
i'm not going to turn either into a title of glory.
people that argue the without kids your life is not worth living are among the biggest retards in the world though.

 

[FrontNakedChoke]

access to tons of girls

 

[Rav1nHunter]

Interesting how some people are saying if you're financially stable and you have children at the right age, you'll be much happier with them. I see plenty of financially stable parents who had their first children in their 30's and still have a look of resentment. But they would never dare say such a thing, their reactions to their children are not congruent to the way they describe being a parent with words like "rewarding" and phrases like "an experience that everyone should have the pleasure to have". Well, guess what? I hear that same mumbo jumbo from the 17 year old girl who just had her first child and is collecting food stamps and is looking for a server job at some mom and pop joint that is willing to pay her under the table. In either situation all I think is "That sucks". No matter how much they feed me this positive stuff, I simply don't buy it. Once in a blue moon I feel like I meet a very happy parent and I feel like it mostly has to do with their already easy-going nature. I just don't see it as a genuine response from others. Even the ones that complain about children all the time say stupid shit like "That little angel saved my life". Suuuuure, she did, buddy. I just wish people were more honest about this stuff. It's okay to love your child and be a wonderful parent, while still hating the process. I feel it's the case for most people, but it's such a chop on their ego to admit such a thing. To actually admit the living thing that you created was a mistake is a tough pill to swallow, and that's fine, but quit force-feeding us all this horeshit about how great it is to be a parent.

Jesus dude break that shit up.

 

[KenstaBoy]

Jesus dude break that shit up.

Yeah, I was thinking that after I posted it, Lol. My bad.

 

[Rav1nHunter]

Yeah, I was thinking that after I posted it, Lol. My bad.

All good mate just breaking your balls.
I agree with a lot of what you wrote and you are spot on about people need to more honest because raising kids ain't easy.
I have 3 sons under 9 years old and I swear sometimes I really just need to be left alone ( wife is awesome she understands) but not gonna lie watching my boys play rugby is glorious and fills me with so much pride.

 

[ikareteru]

My wife and I are sick as shit and are at home looking after our 13 month old.

This is not a highlight of the parenting experience but i love him more than anything.

It's not all sunshine and lollipops but its amazing and once again it's not something you can understand without trying it.

Its hilarious how people with zero experience can suggest they know more than those who do.

For my own experience, being a parent sucks ass.

But it will be fun to pkay video games and do sports with my son when he gets older.

I love him but parenthood is a drag, especially since my ex impregnated herself by quitting the pills at a time I didnt want kids.

Life is no longer carefree and you have to plan every weekend. I think I would feel different if it was free will and I was not abused sexually.

 

[lapollarecords]

True , and the only people that do that are the ones that have had children. The forever alones would never dream of engaging in such choice justification.

" Gee , I really would like to meet a nice person and build a nice family, but if we are being honest here , I struggle with attracting high quality mates and maintaining healthy relationships"

I see that literally all the time on here!

Everybody ( as a group) does the shit to some degree, so you're barking up the wrong tree. I realize you're doing so by design because the resultant circle jerk is oh so pleasing to the pre frontal cortex........but still, be aware .

I disagree. I see lots of "happily single" people, specially on social media, constantly trying to convince everyone of how happy they are and how awesome their lives are.

Btw the other day I met a chick I hooked up with years ago. Really fat now, with a kid and a really fat French husband. Arguing the whole time while shoving food in their faces. We're mid to late 20s. Met again by coincidence, through mutual friends. that evening I went to a concert with a girl I see sometimes, had a few beers and got laid.
I felt like I dodged a bullet years ago.

 

[therealdope]

We had kids in our 30s. Love my kids and they are an incredibly important part of my life. Couldn't imagine not having the experience of watching them grow, develop, learn and ultimately watching them choose their own path. Having said that, i don't need to tell everyone, repeatedly, how great they are and how great being a parent is (this post not withstanding ).

One thing that makes me gag is when people say "watching my kids being born is the greatest moment of my life". Really? I mean it's only happened like 14 billion times previously in history. Just because I don't think that was my greatest moment/joy doesn't mean I don't love my kids or any less than those that spew this stuff. That shit has me SMH.

 

[equus]

perfect response

 

[AnGrYcRoW]

My son is 9 now and he brings me joy and fills me with wonder every day, my wife and were 37 when we had him ( a fee years sooner would have been better but then it wouldn't have been him so ...) and it truly is the best thing I ever did , he's an awesome kid.

The beleaguered looking parents ( the ones who i suspect might regret it ) I know in many cases aren't very good parents , their kids run roughshod over them , tantrums and whatnot , you need to draw a line in the sand, this is acceptable and this isn't and bring the hammer down when lines are crossed ( and I'm not talking corporal punishment) and teach them fecking manners which too few people are doing these days. People with well behaved kids are in for an easier more pleasant experience imo

Edit: and don't have kids too close together , that looks like hell

 

[quatin]

Not sure how this applies to humans, as the type of people that reproduce at the most rapid rate in most societies are degenerates who just keep breeding. Just look at the general population, it's nothing but crack babies after crack babies and trailer parks that continue to grow with a bunch of next generation meth heads. It's the successful or level-headed humans who have children at a very late age or decide not to have them at all. The act of breeding is something taken for granted and it's done by mostly people who shouldn't be passing any offspring. (See the film, Idiocracy). Just look at large metropolitan cites with striving economies. They're full of single people who are in their mid 30's and early 40's and then look at small towns with a bunch of people with less than developed minds that consist of families of parents who all had their first child and got married by the age of 19. It's no wonder that so many people don't want to have children in a world full of imbeciles. Now, I do know quite a few responsible, good people out there who have a few children of their own, but consider the other children that they're being exposed to. Now, are you going to blame the people who stopped having children or the mistakes of the world passing on more mistakes that make your child's life miserable? Having a child in itself is no accomplishment, and that's proven time and again and as time passes the case is only getting stronger for people who don't want to have children. People should be thankful that there are some responsible individuals out there making a decision that having a child just wouldn't be right for them.

I think a common theme here is again money. I'm going to generalize, but poor people with a bleak future might not have anything to do or work on. Therefore, raising kids is one of their few achievable goals. If you had some money and a future, you have other options. Advance your education, establish your career, travel the world, become a scuba dive master and etc. This is why they have kids later or find out that they are satisfied with their life without kids. Then there's the super rich, who can afford to have full time nannys and essentially do both.

 

[boris the hobo]

Are people with kids constantly creating threads on the Internet telling people they should have kids?

 

[MaxMMA]

Lol is this really a question?



Well I would hope they would clean the shitter after years of you cleaning shit out of their asses.

House Chores? When cleaning is a very minimal aspect of my life, this isn't much of a positive. When you have a large family, chores are a bitch. I know, I grew up in one. But I don't consider your kids finally being able to clean up after the messes they make an advantage over not having kids. Single living is much, much different. Daily chores aren't a thing in my life.

I don't think anyone will argue that kids are hard, but yes it is a question. If you don't have any how do you know the hardships aren't worth it?

Also you sound dirty, do you even sanitize bro?

 

[blaseblah]

Actually, there are no alpha wolves in a wolf pack. The guy that led that theory spent most of his career trying to erase it.

http://scienceblogs.com/clock/2009/08/23/no-more-alpha-male/

I see nothing there to dispute alpha wolves. All they are trying to do is change the name to something else.

 

[blaseblah]

i am 36. i might have a kid or i might not. i don't know how life will be.
i'm not going to turn either into a title of glory.
people that argue the without kids your life is not living are among the biggest retards in the world though.

I can understand where they come from though because these people literally live for their kids. When I hang out with parents, all they ever have to discuss is their kids. There's not much else to their lives.