Is there a cognitive dissonance when people say having kids is so great?

[Dana_is_your_GOD]

It seems like 99% of the time it makes people fat, tired, stupid, and, broke.

Contrast this with being single with no kids, having money, taking care of yourself, having friends, a social life, access to tons of girls, and freedom.

I'm not knocking parents, but when they try to tell me I'm missing out while they're in the middle of passing out from exhaustion and always seem to be broke, I'm obviously skeptical.

For example this guy at work is very overweight, lives on fast food because it's convinient, and is a self proclaimed gamer yet can never even afford a game when it comes out. He asks me when I'm gonna have kids and says I'm missing out. If this shit is what happens, then fuck that.

 

[splendica]

I think guys should wait to have kids til they're established.

 

[Don Quixote]

I want to know what everyone's hurry is? You can still have kids in you 30's and 40's.

It's like if your not having children in your 20's nowadays something is seriously wrong with you.

 

[joeyjoejoe]

Lol What are they supposed to say? " Jesus fuck I should have wrapped it up"

 

[Curmudgeon]

tipping threads/children threads...what's the diff?

 

[splendica]

I want to know what everyone's hurry is? You can still have kids in you 30's and 40's.

It's like if your not having children in your 20's nowadays something is seriously wrong with you.

Agreed. Particularly for guys, but girls need to get stuff out of their system prior too.

The thing is with men, is that girls look for security in a relationship so younger guys are in most cases fighting a continually losing battle chasing after them. They're better off establishing themselves and the women will come to them.

 

[Horse Style]

I've seen a few kids vs no kids threads here and from what I get from a lot of the pro-kid people is that:

1. The meaning of life is to have kids. The go-to question people ponder and who knew pro-kid people knew the answer all along

2. They have some sort of legacy that's so important, they need a child to carry it on. Very humble outlook on life

3. They need someone to take care of them when they are old, lonely and decrepit. Very selfless outlook on life

4. You don't know the absolute joy it is to have a kid unless you have one. You know, us humans are so simple, we cannot understand something without experiencing it.

People who don't want kids are just too young and immature and one day they will suddenly want a child, guaranteed.

 

[Almighty Angus]

I've seen a few kids vs no kids threads here and from what I get from a lot of the pro-kid people is that:

1. The meaning of life is to have kids. The go-to question people ponder and who knew pro-kid people knew the answer all along

2. They have some sort of legacy that's so important, they need a child to carry it on. Very humble outlook on life

3. They need someone to take care of them when they are old, lonely and decrepit. Very selfless outlook on life

4. You don't know the absolute joy it is to have a kid unless you have one. You know, us humans are so simple, we cannot understand something without experiencing it.

People who don't want kids are just too young and immature and one day they will suddenly want a child, guaranteed.

lmao

 

[splendica]

I've seen a few kids vs no kids threads here and from what I get from a lot of the pro-kid people is that:

1. The meaning of life is to have kids. The go-to question people ponder and who knew pro-kid people knew the answer all along

2. They have some sort of legacy that's so important, they need a child to carry it on. Very humble outlook on life

3. They need someone to take care of them when they are old, lonely and decrepit. Very selfless outlook on life

4. You don't know the absolute joy it is to have a kid unless you have one. You know, us humans are so simple, we cannot understand something without experiencing it.

People who don't want kids are just too young and immature and one day they will suddenly want a child, guaranteed.

I just think it's part of life, a demand of the organism. But there are practical ways it makes sense too.

 

[El_Dyablo619]

I want to know what everyone's hurry is? You can still have kids in you 30's and 40's.

It's like if your not having children in your 20's nowadays something is seriously wrong with you.

I agree, but if your wife is pushing 40, you have a very high risk of your kid getting an extra chromosome

 

[Scerpi]

We had our kids at 35... I would have prefered a little younger, maybe 30 or 32. But waiting a while is much better than having kids too young.

I feel like the old fogey giving advice to family/friends who are 18 and headed to college or into the service.

- There's no rush for kids or marriage. Don't let your partner pressure you.
- Enjoy your 20's. Travel, take vacations, try different things. Don't be afraid to change your career path if things aren't working.

You can't do either any of that if saddle yourself with kids in your early 20's or teens. Or it's much harder.

Then I see them a few year later after they've divorced and already have one or two kids in tow.

And I laugh and laugh...

 

[Urban Youth]

As far as cognitive dissonance goes, I think parental instincts dictate that they find it rewarding despite the bad stuff. There's no permanence to happiness, but I believe most people measure the total sum of their life's work in regards to children, thus say it's worth it in the end.

Parenthood is a unique life experience that isn't necessarily suited for everyone. Or sometimes potentially goods parents start way too early and mire their family in economic strife. I'll be at least 33 if I ever decided to take it on. That gives me ten more years of freedom.

 

[splendica]

We had our kids at 35... I would have prefered a little younger, maybe 30 or 32. But waiting a while is much better than having kids too young.

I feel like the old fogey giving advice to family/friends who are 18 and headed to college or into the service.

- There's no rush for kids or marriage. Don't let your partner pressure you.
- Enjoy your 20's. Travel, take vacations, try different things. Don't be afraid to change your career path if things aren't working.

You can't do either any of that if saddle yourself with kids in your early 20's or teens. Or it's much harder.

Then I see them a few year later after they've divorced and already have one or two kids in tow.

And I laugh and laugh...

I noticed a wave of divorces happen around 30 with friends and former schoolmates who married in their late teens and early twenties.

Also, it seems many don't develop to something of their potential.

 

[MC Paul Barman]

Having a son is the best thing that's ever happened to me (well, 2nd best... marrying my wife takes lead).
And I can't wait until my daughter is born in about a months time.

I'll be exhausted, eating poorly, overworked.... but being able to do this again is a blessing.

 

[mjmj]

Good people love being parents, and the shape ones in isn't because of kids. Whether you want to be a parent or not is up to you. Its a feeling impossible to describe or understand without experiencing it, so don't bother trying. I have a wife, kids, and plenty of money.

 

[BlacknBlue]

I don't know about cognitive dissonance, but many parents just enjoy it a lot (unexpectedly so in many cases) so they try to encourage others to participate as well.

In my case I enjoyed all the shit you are talking about (freedom, money, girls etc..) but it eventually became the same thing over and over again and got kinda boring. One thing about having kids...it is not boring. If you have kids before you get bored of all that other shit though, maybe it would leave some resentment, I dunno.

 

[breadfighter]

They sound poor.

 

[BlacknBlue]

I've seen a few kids vs no kids threads here and from what I get from a lot of the pro-kid people is that:

1. The meaning of life is to have kids. The go-to question people ponder and who knew pro-kid people knew the answer all along

2. They have some sort of legacy that's so important, they need a child to carry it on. Very humble outlook on life

3. They need someone to take care of them when they are old, lonely and decrepit. Very selfless outlook on life

4. You don't know the absolute joy it is to have a kid unless you have one. You know, us humans are so simple, we cannot understand something without experiencing it.

People who don't want kids are just too young and immature and one day they will suddenly want a child, guaranteed.

#1 makes sense if you are non-religious. If you believe in evolution and Darwinism, successfully passing on your genes is in fact the only measure of success for any living being.

 

[Defanged]

To each their own, but ever notice how you never see single people harping on married people to "become single" ?

I think married people who look down on single people are ultimately jealous of them because they're unhappy. Marriage isn't for everyone.

 

[SimplyStupid]

I just turned 36 and my wife is pregnant with our first child. I think it will be the greatest experience of my entire life. Trumping all the blown money, One night stands with random chicks whose names I don't remember(or ever knew).