I'm losing the love of my life

Sano said:
I was thinking something similar too. @Ballsaque You write in the OP about what you think might be the reason why you drifted apart and so on. I'm wondering if you ever asked her or if you guys communicated about what wasn't working and why.

Jeg mener, at du var dansk. Har i fået det hele ud på bordet og haft en reel samtale om hvorfor det ikke fungerede?
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Ja. Mange og dybe. Men jeg tror ikke det er tid til samtaler mere. Der må holdes noget distance for nu.
 
You said you demanded she stop her withdrawal without fully comprehending what was bothering her.

What was bothering her that caused the withdrawal?
 
This is the gayest thread I have ever seen in the gayberry, plus none of this happened.
 
She met someone else and wants to see where it goes. If it fails, she's running back to you.
 
Pay attention:

You... Got... To.... FUCK.

If you ain't fucked in a few days, fuck, and if you ain't fucked in a week, ... come on people, you know this... it ain't rocket science.

People want to pretend that sex isn't the foundation of relationships. It is.

Sure all that other shit, whatever....

You gotta keep the bedroom popping.

Dr Jeff over and out.
 
Ballsaque said:
So, sob story incoming:
In the heart of a bustling city, I met a girl. She was French, and her culture are very different to my own. Our connection grew swiftly, moving from a dates to cohabiting in what felt like the blink of an eye.

She had a strong character and principles that fascinated me. It was her unwavering beliefs and sense of self that attracted me to her. As I got to know her better, I realized that her unique perspective on life was something I admired. We both had a shared vision of building a future together, and our bond made me certain that she was the one I wanted to marry.
We also became business partners, founding companies together. We believed in our shared dreams and thought we could make something extraordinary together.
However, over time, there was a shift in our relationship. Our intimacy, once a deep and passionate connection started to vein. I was working a lot, and when we were home, we were "together without being togeher." I take full responsibility for that. But we grew distant, our once sex life and intimacy dwindled to almost nothing.
I thought we could overcome this challenge, but as weeks turned into months, the gap between us grew wider. I could no longer ignore the growing distance. Frustration and confusion began to eat away at me, and I made the mistake of trying to force a solution. I didn't understand her point of view, and I demanded that she stop her withdrawal, without fully comprehending what was bothering her.
I have always told her I would marry her and we would have children, but I kept saying not before this barrier between us was overcome.
Tensions mounted, and we had our share of heated arguments during this time. The breaking point came during a particularly intense argument. We were at a concert, and could barely hug or talk to each other. I told her I was leaving and I couldnt do this anymore.
She moved out to live somewhere else for now. I know this has been eating away at her, she has lost a lot of weight lately.
We met, and she expressed that she wanted to try to 'break up' and then keep the contact to see if we can regain the spark. As in, we wouldnt not be seeing other people, but have some distance from each other for some time. That is obviously a very painful arrangement. But I have respected and honoured it so far, only checking in with her rarely and sending her pictures of our cat. I believe I have to let her have space for now (When we blew up at each other in the past, it could take me 3 hours to get fine again, and her 3 days. That is how she functions.)
I believe that we "lost" the spark, because we moved in with each other too quickly, and we both took each other for granted, because we had a feeling early on that it was us agains the world.
I have throught deeply about this, and I am sure my behaviour has pushed her away. I have taken her, and our intimacy for granted. This girl is the real deal, and I intend to remedy the situaiton and marry her. Everyone is pales in comparison to her.

I dont know why I wrote all this, but perhaps my Sherbrehs can lend some advice. My strategy for now is to respect the arrangement. When the time is right, I will invite her out again, with the mindset that I am meeting her for the first time.

Inb4 youre a oneitis bitch, shes piping someone else, did she at least get you and ipad, etc.
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Propose and go down on her for an hour. Whatever order. Cry too
 
As always, rooting for a Sherdogger. However, I do wonder about the futility of a potential attempt at a rekindling (I only read the OP and the first page).

You jumped into a serious relationship, rushed into moving in, started a business together, and then she moved out rather quickly after an argument. That’s what we call a ‘whirlwind’, depending on the timeline, which I didn’t gather from the information provided. Now, if we’re talking five years or so, meh, alright. If we’re talking less than three, then you should examine both of your previous relationships. Like, that would be massive burnout, and if a history exists on either end, you might want to consider that kind of burnout irreconcilable.

I guess you had no choice but to keep in contact. Usually, I would say cut contact after a breakup. What troubles me, as other Sherdoggers have pointed out, is the grey area you agreed to inhabit. Waiting for a ‘spark to start’, or whatever, usually doesn’t happen out of the blue and after a bunch of resentment, arguing and a public blowout. Those are hurricane winds, buddy. Leaving the cat isn’t a good sign, either.

I say give her your pitch above; yet expect the possibility that you’ll get a negative result.
 
If you want her back then tell her. Don’t give her space. Let her know you are thinking of her. Ask her out to dinner or a movie.
Withdrawing will make her feel you don’t care really.
But you gotta make sure it’s what you want for more than now. If you’re unsure then it may be best to say goodbye.
 
If your entire relationship hinges on having a “spark” and “butterflies” and “chemistry”, then those aren’t really strong foundations to start a family with.
 
emefer said:
If you want her back then tell her. Don’t give her space. Let her know you are thinking of her. Ask her out to dinner or a movie.
Withdrawing will make her feel you don’t care really.
But you gotta make sure it’s what you want for more than now. If you’re unsure then it may be best to say goodbye.
Click to expand...

I think he waited too long. He has to make a move relatively soon, because he put himself into a ‘last ditch effort’ scenario. Face the rejection or live with regret.
 
panem-et-circenses said:
I think he waited too long. He has to make a move relatively soon, because he put himself into a ‘last ditch effort’ scenario. Face the rejection or live with regret.
Click to expand...
That’s what I mean. Instead of this thread he should be calling her and saying I love you and I want to be with you. I want us. Let’s go out tomorrow. I miss you and I would love to spend time with you. Like all the time.

then again, if it already went to shit, it’s gonna take some work to not revert to that once comfort sets in. TS gotta want it. Gotta want it every day. Even the bad parts must be a want. I need your heaven and I need your hell
 
And TS needs to make clear he don’t want to see other people when he found the person he wants
 
TS don’t wait for her to make a choice between you and someone else. Prove to her there is no choice. Strap in your ballsack and profess your feelings to her.
 
Ballsaque said:
So, sob story incoming:
In the heart of a bustling city, I met a girl. She was French, and her culture are very different to my own. Our connection grew swiftly, moving from a dates to cohabiting in what felt like the blink of an eye.

She had a strong character and principles that fascinated me. It was her unwavering beliefs and sense of self that attracted me to her. As I got to know her better, I realized that her unique perspective on life was something I admired. We both had a shared vision of building a future together, and our bond made me certain that she was the one I wanted to marry.
We also became business partners, founding companies together. We believed in our shared dreams and thought we could make something extraordinary together.
However, over time, there was a shift in our relationship. Our intimacy, once a deep and passionate connection started to vein. I was working a lot, and when we were home, we were "together without being togeher." I take full responsibility for that. But we grew distant, our once sex life and intimacy dwindled to almost nothing.
I thought we could overcome this challenge, but as weeks turned into months, the gap between us grew wider. I could no longer ignore the growing distance. Frustration and confusion began to eat away at me, and I made the mistake of trying to force a solution. I didn't understand her point of view, and I demanded that she stop her withdrawal, without fully comprehending what was bothering her.
I have always told her I would marry her and we would have children, but I kept saying not before this barrier between us was overcome.
Tensions mounted, and we had our share of heated arguments during this time. The breaking point came during a particularly intense argument. We were at a concert, and could barely hug or talk to each other. I told her I was leaving and I couldnt do this anymore.
She moved out to live somewhere else for now. I know this has been eating away at her, she has lost a lot of weight lately.
We met, and she expressed that she wanted to try to 'break up' and then keep the contact to see if we can regain the spark. As in, we wouldnt not be seeing other people, but have some distance from each other for some time. That is obviously a very painful arrangement. But I have respected and honoured it so far, only checking in with her rarely and sending her pictures of our cat. I believe I have to let her have space for now (When we blew up at each other in the past, it could take me 3 hours to get fine again, and her 3 days. That is how she functions.)
I believe that we "lost" the spark, because we moved in with each other too quickly, and we both took each other for granted, because we had a feeling early on that it was us agains the world.
I have throught deeply about this, and I am sure my behaviour has pushed her away. I have taken her, and our intimacy for granted. This girl is the real deal, and I intend to remedy the situaiton and marry her. Everyone is pales in comparison to her.

I dont know why I wrote all this, but perhaps my Sherbrehs can lend some advice. My strategy for now is to respect the arrangement. When the time is right, I will invite her out again, with the mindset that I am meeting her for the first time.

Inb4 youre a oneitis bitch, shes piping someone else, did she at least get you and ipad, etc.
Click to expand...
Dawg fight !!!<Wendy01><WhitmanDefeat>
 
Starman said:
You admired her? LOL. You young guys are so fucking clueless.

She doesn’t want to be admired, she wants to be dominated.

I’m going to give you some free love advice. Take it. Every woman dreams of being dominated by a strong man.

I don’t mean they want to be hit or abused, or they want a jealous, insecure husband.

They just want a man who takes control and tells them what to do so they don’t have to worry about dumb shit. For example, don’t ask her what is for dinner, tell her what is for dinner. (That she cooks, not you asshole!)

Her opinions on politics, philosophy, religion, or any other major issue of the day is uninformed, irrelevant, and unimportant. And you should never delude her into thinking her opinions on these things are valid or desirable. They aren’t.

The faster you can mold her into what she truly wants to be, which is a domesticated 1950’s housewife, the happier she’ll be and the happier you’ll be.

Go read a Reddit sub forum dedicated to pregnancy and rape fetishes. It’s filled with strong wahmen and pathetic girl bosses all creaming their panties about how they just want to be dominated and impregnated by a strong man, not worshipped by some weak male feminist cuck.

Just my advice. Take it and be happy or don’t.
Click to expand...

Has to be a troll post.

If not, what a garbage post.
 
emefer said:
That’s what I mean. Instead of this thread he should be calling her and saying I love you and I want to be with you. I want us. Let’s go out tomorrow. I miss you and I would love to spend time with you. Like all the time.

then again, if it already went to shit, it’s gonna take some work to not revert to that once comfort sets in. TS gotta want it. Gotta want it every day. Even the bad parts must be a want. I need your heaven and I need your hell
Click to expand...

emefer said:
And TS needs to make clear he don’t want to see other people when he found the person he wants
Click to expand...

emefer said:
TS don’t wait for her to make a choice between you and someone else. Prove to her there is no choice. Strap in your ballsack and profess your feelings to her.
Click to expand...

Plot twist, the dude TS's missus is banging is posting right on here on Sherdog.
 
emefer said:
If you want her back then tell her. Don’t give her space. Let her know you are thinking of her. Ask her out to dinner or a movie.
Withdrawing will make her feel you don’t care really.
But you gotta make sure it’s what you want for more than now. If you’re unsure then it may be best to say goodbye.
Click to expand...

This is bad advice. His bet is to wish her goodluck and move on. Let her go with love. There are plenty of other chicks out there.
This story is typical. A man thinks he met the woman of his life, gets fully committed, and reasons unbeknownst to him (and likely even to herself), the relationship becomes distant. This is due to the hypergamous nature of women. She thinks she can do better. She's not happy with you because women are never happy in serious committed relationships. She wants to break up still keep in contact because she doesn't want to lose what she already had with you but still wants to keep her options open. Pretty much every woman I've been with wanted to maintain contact after breaking up. I'd rather just move on and keep going, but women are opportunistic with their options for male attention.
 
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