How do you become the perfect UFC fan?

If you have to ask, you are not.

Start by getting a UFC hot dog brander
 
Look you need carbohydrates to maintain the rage
and there is only one corn snack that's hardcorn enough to be in the ufc
That's right
It's the official corn snack of the ultimate fighting championship
And if you obtain any carbohydrate from any other source you're a coward and you hate human cock fighting
 
If Khabib and Conor are not on your top 5 GOAT list then you are not perfect but still way above the average fan
 
Dana's Moonface said:
Stop crying about fighter pay especially when most stream the fights
Nobody holds a gun to their head
Click to expand...
Saint Jones is one of the few athletes in the UFC that complained about his pay being too high. When Saint Jones received his first pay check, he said, this is too much, the Church needs this money more than me, and so do homeless people.

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Davidjacksonjones said:
Saint Jones is one of the few athletes in the UFC that complained about his pay being too high. When Saint Jones received his first pay check, he said, this is too much, the Church needs this money more than me, and so do homeless people.

View attachment 1034717
Click to expand...

When St Jones fights, I order the ppv multiple times

Yes I know the greedy corporations get the lions share, but I know that Jones will spread his share to those in need

It's essentially giving to charity
 
I drive around on saturday nights looking for people illegally streaming. I shave my head, put on a tight t shirt, apply some pink makeup . knock on the door and say "whose got the first question?!" before destroying their router.

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Get a t-shirt with Dana Whites face on. Hail Jon Jones as the best ever and ignore the cheating-part. Never ever talk about Fedor and if he is mentioned just laugh it away.
 
Get UFC tattooed on your penis

Also randomly do imanari rolls while out in public
 
Gotta buy Dana's old Boxercise VHS tapes

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Buy everything Uncle Dana promotes blindly with zero second thoughts. Watch every fight. Like only the fighters that the UFC wants to promote and hate everyone else. Come up with reasons for why a fighter who hasn't lost in 9 fights still doesn't deserve a title shot while a guy that hasn't won in years does. Never complain about fighter pay and go on a rant at every opportunity about how the fighters should be grateful to pursue the opportunity and get their name out there. Always remember the golden rule: every fighter on top is the best fighter ever, until they lose. Then they were never any good at all.

And of course, shill for Dana at every turn on Sherdog
 
Buy every PPV and don't invite anyone over so they have to either buy it themselves, go to buffalo wild wings, or risk going to jail. Post like you are an expert in free market economics every time someone complains about fighter pay. Buy the UFC hot dog brander
 
Shit on the greatest of greats entire career after they lose, mention "they were never that good anyway, in hindsight" and develop an insanely overzealous opinion of Dana White, whether it be good or bad.

That's the UFC Fan starter kit imo. And some ugly t-shirts with fleur de lis all over them.
 
Just go about telling everyone you train UFC. When they ask you is it MMA just look at them and repeat you train ufc
 
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