How do you become the perfect UFC fan?

[usernamee]

I'm branding all my hot dogs with the UFC's Hot Dog Brander, I'm using the watch that can take a lickin' and keep on tickin' and I've got Dynamic Fastener inside my asshole.

What more can I do to be the perfect UFC fan?

Could you sustain yourself completely off of UFC products?

Prime instead of water.

P3 Protein packs instead of food.

 

[rear naked ankle pick]

To love it so much that you arent even watching it

 

[Davidjacksonjones]

Be 6'5 280 lbs of pure muscle wear tapout

 

[Reach4theSky]

Permanently tattoo the 'Just Bleed Guys' face and body paint

 

[Bowel-forged Stool]

Double purchase ppvs

 

[EndlessCritic]

watch none of the prelims and complain about how the ufc is filled with fighters you've never heard of.

 

[loisestrad]

Cry about everything while pretending to not give a fuck, the manly way.

 

[Evbo]

If you haven't spent at least $1,000 with Condom Depot you're not allowed in the club bro.

I've not been short of water balloons for years

 

[markantony20]

Bitch about literally everything.

 

[Rob Rain]

Pay to watch it but don't actually watch it saving bandwidth for others

 

[MaulingMyClown]

Give Dana a handy

 

[TakeCareOfYourUnderwears]

Slap Dana's wife for him

 

[Uber_Noober]

be a full kit wanker

 

[Van Daz]

I'm branding all my hot dogs with the UFC's Hot Dog Brander, I'm using the watch that can take a lickin' and keep on tickin' and I've got Dynamic Fastener inside my asshole.

What more can I do to be the perfect UFC fan?

Could you sustain yourself completely off of UFC products?

Prime instead of water.

P3 Protein packs instead of food.

Perfecting finger pokes on yourself.

I train this method six days, actually six days a week. Five days a week, I'll train three days a week. One of those days I will train two days of the week. So, six days a week I will be training.

 

[GiganticMeat]

To love it so much that you arent even watching it

Tbh, you get a much better idea of the fights just reading comments on the internet. That, plus social media beef. I haven't watched a fight since Steve Jennum retired

 

[Nobru]

1: you forget everything that makes sense from a 'sport' perspective and put money above all. Rankings, merits, nothing else matters, but money.

2: you make decisions that hurt fighters, yourself and your audience (USADA and such).

1 and 2 dont seem compatible. 1 gives us the impression this aint sport, whilst 2 goes the other way. Until they make a decision on how they wanna move forward (a serious sport or a shitshow), UFC is gonna be in this mud. Some people appreciate the mud, tho.

 

[Harlekin]

Sleep in the Giblert Reebok Kit
Have all the Venum stuff

Be able to find a Picogram in an olympic pool

You should be able to do mma math from BJ Penn to Fedor

 

[StormGymLuton]

Came to say hotdog brander

 

[don't ask]

Mindlessly support everything they do, enjoy the drama more than the fights, hate the fighters and love the org.

 

[JakePaulMMA]

To love it so much that you arent even watching it

To love it so much  you I refuse to buy it. Fuck off Dana.