I only care about Sally-Does-Nothing if we’re competing for a promotion. That’s when I do what you’ve already started TS. I drop subtle but not malicious sounding hints. Example:
“Hey boss, I’m trying to find Sally, I need to make sure we’re running the same report. Have you seen her? Oh not here yet?.. I hope she’s okay. That’s the third day in a row.”
“Hey boss, I finished the TPS report, but I’d like to compare it with Sally’s before I leave. Can you pull it up? Oh she hasn’t turned it in? It was needed by today right? No prob, I’ll just go to her desk and see where she’s at with it. Oh she left early today? I hope she’s okay, she’s been needing to leave early a lot lately.”
“Hey boss, I noticed there’s been a lot of lag time on the computers lately. I had the IT guy look into it. He said that someone’s been playing a lot of World of Warcraft on station 8 whatever that means. It’s probably another business in the building tangling with our WiFi, but I thought you should know. What? Sally is station 8? Well it can’t be Sally. Mr. IT said whoever it is literally plays for hours a day. If it was Sally she’d never be able to get those TPS reports in on time. BTW, do you have her report for that comparison? No, still not done huh? No prob, she should be back from lunch any minute, I’ll just ask her myself. Must have hit traffic on the way back because she left like 50 mins ago.”
*Wait until there is just one slice of pizza in the break room* “Hey Sally, there’s one slice of pizza left in the break room if you want it.” *You know she does. Wait until she enters the break room then, “Hey Boss, no Pizza? Didn’t you hear there was pizza in the break room? If you head there now you should be able to get some.”
“Uh oh. Someone left the coffee pot on all night. It’s caked with burnt coffee. Oh Sally made coffee yesterday? No prob, honest mistake. Tell you what, I’m doing a Starbucks run. Want anything?”
*Next day*
“Whoops! Did someone leave on the coffee pot again last night? No? Then why all the burnt coffee? Oh no one cleaned it...Classic. I forgot who burned it...oh Sally. I’m surprised she didn’t clean it before she left, that’s not like her is it? Oh I remember, she had to leave in a hurry early yesterday, she must have just forgot. Well I’ll clean it because I don’t think Sally’s here yet. That traffics a bear. That’s why I always leave home early. My Mom always said, ‘If you can’t be on time, be early.’ BTW, I was gonna order the office Pizza today. I’ll make sure to save you a slice because I know you missed out last time. I think some people had more helpings than others is all.”
“Out sick? Poor Sally. She has the worst luck. She always seems to get sick on the Fridays before 3 day weekends.”
