Just do not give up on ... yourself and life
First i would like to apologize if i turn into a mess writing this
I've been training MMA since 2013, had a couple of fights where i live and lost my last fight 3 months back to a submission
But i didn't give up and kept training and about 2 months ago i started getting terrible shoulder and neck pains.
One month later i started getting shooting head pains, which when i do, i get completely disconnected from reality and dizzy. And my limbs go numb, i lose control of my face.
Thanks to my parents i can afford the best healthcare and i consulted a neurologist, apparently I'm suffering from nerve damage and while i was talking to him he and i both agreed that it must have been from the strikes I've been throwing at the gym, which i think is how i throw my cross and it went wrong.
I'm going under the knife this month to get this fixed and I haven't done any sort of training, even at home for a long time now
I'm depressed as hell and keep crying everyday and contemplated suicide a couple of times because i know i have to move on from this. I don't mind having a broken arm or leg, or even a battered up face but i can't have my brain fucked with like this.
I'm going to miss all my brothers at the gym. I grew up hearing how women aren't strong and i proved them wrong for a very long time. I'm sad i can't do that anymore