Aggravated Assault Charge

Overpressure said:
Don't give up on the kid, OP.
He's a mess, keep your distance, but you're trying to support him through a tough time and he may wise up, apologize eventually, and appreciate your efforts.
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I agree that you shouldn't give up on your son OP it's not his fault you allowed him to live undisciplined with his grandmom at 19/
 
mushishi said:
You're his father; your love for your son will never end. Hopefully, he takes this warning as a wake up call. He's lucky to have a caring father like you. I wish you guys all the best.
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Thank You! I appreciate your words of wisdom and your feedback.
 
moneyfight said:
If you get your son an attorney and help him fight this you should do it only under the stipulation that he lives with you and follows your strict disciplinary rules going forward until he finds a job and his life is stable enough to get a place of his own to live.
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I agree and he hasn't lost his job yet. I'll find out Monday if he's still employed or not. But I agree with your stipulations and that's exactly what we're going to do.
 
moneyfight said:
I agree that you shouldn't give up on your son OP it's not his fault you allowed him to live undisciplined with his grandmom at 19/
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Actually, you're right. I do have quite a bit of accountability in this situation.
 
Daniel Fox said:
I understand your frustration, but you must realize the cops were doing their jobs, what transpired is basically considered a domestic disturbance, many Police departments have policies that they have to make an arrest for liability reasons. If an arrest is not made, and one of the two parties gets a weapon and kills or maims the other party the Police Department can be held liable.

If you get a lawyer, I would not try to fight the charges over police procedures because you will most likely lose, rather I would play the angle the your son has a drug problem and needs treatment, he may get a plea for a much lesser charge if he agrees to actively seek drug counseling. Being that he has no priors, he probably will only get probation, this may actually be a blessing in disguise he may use this incident to turn his life around.
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I agree with this post.
 
AshiharaFan said:
Actually, you're right. I do have quite a bit of accountability in this situation.
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I coached high school basketball for many years in one of Americas most dangerous city's and most of my players that got shot or ended up doing long prison terms did not have a father in their life as teens. You still have a great chance to save your son if you give him a 50/50 combo of love/discipline. Age 19 is certainly not to old for a fathers discipline. Alot of kids these day's are not becoming adults until their mid 20's.
 
Daniel Fox said:
Again what you are saying is true, but where do you draw the line? Most people consider a DUI a minor crime however the average person who gets arrested for DUI has driven drunk 80 to 90 times for every time they get arrested. Approximately 10,000 people a year are killed by drunk drivers. Regarding crimes such as possession, prostitution, public drunkenness etc. Yes they are minor, but many murders, rapist, and pedophiles have arrests for those crimes as well. Do we wait until someone commits something egregious? With that being said I pretty much do agree with what you are saying, I just can't fathom a way to fix it in our society.

Regarding the vast majority of people in jail not being murders, rapists, and pedophiles it actually depends on the jail. In big counties with fairly high crime rates such as LA, Cook, Wayne etc. most offenders of minor crime do not see much jail time, there is no room, so they get light sentences such as probation. So in a sense many minor crimes don't really receive a big punishment.
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They're way too lenient on DUIs. There are people that have like 5 or 6 and are still driving around. I would say if you keep getting them you need your license permanently revoked, but that's just me. It is complex but we hould be moving in the direction of rehabilitation and away from punishment for the sake of it. Since we know now that doesn't work in most cases.


Ideally job training and therapy should be provided while in prison. We need workers and we need well adjusted people with appropriate coping mechanisms in place. You can't fix everyone, some people are just monsters. But we turn a lot more people into monsters by giving them no good options.
 
Nonsense said:
Why are you helping me NOT learn the natural consequences of his actions?

Testify against him. Tough love. He's not getting better with the way you're doing things now.
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lol good luck seeing his grand kids if he does that. tough love.
 
AshiharaFan said:
Thanks dude, but actually he's not that much of a mess. He's just a hothead with a short fuse. Even though he's weedhead he does work and has had the same job for the past two years. So he's not the sociopathis delinquent that some of these fools are trying to paint him out to be. And nah, I'm definitely not going to give up on him.



Definitely this. Some people say that weed is the gateway drug and I was probably too stern and inflexible with my "shape up or ship out" approach. He told me that he felt that I was too controlling which is why he decided to stay with his grandmother.

But a little more detail about what had happened. Actually he wasn't high but my nephew was and he stole money out of my sons duffle bag and left to hang out with his friends. He came back a couple of hours later high as hell (off my son's money mind you). So the whole time my nephew was gone after "borrowing without asking" my son (who does have a pretty fucked up temper sometimes) was fuming and couldn't wait for my nephew to walk through that door.

I raised my son (who's my oldest) for the past 18 years and he's never been a problem child as far as run ins with the law is concerned. And his love for marijuana started about a year ago. But I have two other sons who are younger than him that I do not wish for him to be a not so good influence on.

Btw, I talked to an attorney who I am going to meet at his office on Monday morning to retain and he basically guaranteed to have it dismissed provided my son attends anger management and drug counseling and he'll be on probation for sure. Learning experience for him.
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I just made it to this post so disregard my last post because this situation is not as serious as i thought.

Weed is certainly not a big deal if your kids a hothead, but your son still needs to move back home with you asap.

Living with grandmom and a cousin who steals money from him to get high could be a recipe for disaster.
 
Daniel Fox said:
All of what you say may be true, and it certainly seems to be the case of the thread starters son, but the country with the lowest incarceration rate in the world is Norway with 75 people incarcerated per 100,000 people and still there recidivism rate is 20%, which to be fair is the lowest in the world, but 20% is still a pretty high number. Basically a fairly high percentage of people in prison fall within the 2% sociopathic range, and they can't be rehabilitated. As far as retribution being archaic, maybe it is, but what do you say to a family who lost their 5 year old daughter to a stray bullet meant for a gang banger outside of her house?
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Norway is not a fair example at all because it's almost homogeneous and can only be compared to like Maine, Vermont and New Hampshire.

There is a group in America that's 45 million strong and 12% of the population that commit over 50% of the murder and violent crime in the US.

That group is obviously a much larger percentage of Americas prison population than they should be for obvious reasons.

Let me stop there because i don't want to go off topic.
 
Beat some respect and discipline into your kids so they don't end up getting those beaten into them in prison.
 
Jim said:
He's 19, barely a man. Father duties need to still in be play.
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He can let him suffer the consequences while still being there as a father. This is the tough love aspect of parenting. Consistently bailing a kid out of trouble just leads to more trouble.

That's the problem with kids nowadays. Zero respect for authority, and zero desire to accept responsibility. My wife worked many years for DCF. For every case of shitty parenting, there were just as many cases of just plain ol' shitty kids. Kids that don't give it a thought to make baseless accusations against their parents, just because they didn't get their way.

I hope the TS's kid is salvageable. If not, don't let him drag you down his rabbit hole.
 
moneyfight said:
I just made it to this post so disregard my last post because this situation is not as serious as i thought.

Weed is certainly not a big deal if your kids a hothead, but your son still needs to move back home with you asap.

Living with grandmom and a cousin who steals money from him to get high could be a recipe for disaster.
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This! I'm bringing him home!
 
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