you're approached by a certain scientologist...
- Thread starter mrsenor
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Scientologists are bad.
My dumbass friend asked one of them about what they do and for weeks they wouldn't stop harassing him on the phone or knocking on his door asking him to take that test or whatever the fuck it is. So he called me to come help him, we hung out at his house watching TV waiting for one of them to inevitably knock on his door. I answered and told him to back off and that my friend isnt interested, but this guy was pushy and I told him to go away or I'll call the popo. But this mofo was relentless so I threw a quick stinging jab and he staggered back but still wasn't going down so I've gotta give him props for that. I then threw a 2 punch combo which dropped him but one of his scumbag friends that was waiting in the car got out and attacked me, I charged at him while he was charging at me and landed a flying knee. The other guy got up and picked his friend up and told me that this wasn't over and they're coming with back up. I knew shit was about to go down so I texted my good friend Nicolas Cage.
About half an hour later I see 2 cars pull up and out come about 8 scientologists which include Tom Cruise and John Travolta. Me and my friend go out and try to stall them till Nic Cage arrives. Thankfully he arrived just a few seconds after and pulled up in his one of a kind, 1935 Rolls-Royce Phantom. With him he had Gary Busey, Russell Crowe and Denzel Washington. Cage filled them in on the situation and we all agreed it was time to kick some ass. So it's 6 vs 8 and we begin our battle. The guy that knocked on the door earlier is fighting my friend, thankfully he's losing to my friend. Up next Gary fucking Busey lunges at one of these mofos and bites their ear off then knocks them out with his shoe and disappears for the day. Russell Crowe is taking on two of these fuckers and knocks them out pretty quickly while yelling out "i'm always up for a fight!". So 3 down and Denzel Washington is taking on Tom Cruise, it's a good fight but Denzel knocks him out with a solid knee. 5 left and I'm taking on two of them, one of them socks me with a solid left hook but I counter with a jab+cross combo that knocks his ass silly, the other mofo eats a knee for his troubles and now there's 3 left but when I look over my friend beat his opponent so just two more to go. Denzel takes care of the last guy so now it's just John Travolta left which you guessed it is taking on Nicolas Cage which is appropriate as it's like a rematch from Face/Off. Nic Cage is laying waste, he throws a few punches that look like this:
And Travolta is on queer street and can't keep his composure, so Cage finishes him with a high kick that looks something like this and it's goodnight Irene:
After that the scientologists left my friend alone.
My dumbass friend asked one of them about what they do and for weeks they wouldn't stop harassing him on the phone or knocking on his door asking him to take that test or whatever the fuck it is. So he called me to come help him, we hung out at his house watching TV waiting for one of them to inevitably knock on his door. I answered and told him to back off and that my friend isnt interested, but this guy was pushy and I told him to go away or I'll call the popo. But this mofo was relentless so I threw a quick stinging jab and he staggered back but still wasn't going down so I've gotta give him props for that. I then threw a 2 punch combo which dropped him but one of his scumbag friends that was waiting in the car got out and attacked me, I charged at him while he was charging at me and landed a flying knee. The other guy got up and picked his friend up and told me that this wasn't over and they're coming with back up. I knew shit was about to go down so I texted my good friend Nicolas Cage.
About half an hour later I see 2 cars pull up and out come about 8 scientologists which include Tom Cruise and John Travolta. Me and my friend go out and try to stall them till Nic Cage arrives. Thankfully he arrived just a few seconds after and pulled up in his one of a kind, 1935 Rolls-Royce Phantom. With him he had Gary Busey, Russell Crowe and Denzel Washington. Cage filled them in on the situation and we all agreed it was time to kick some ass. So it's 6 vs 8 and we begin our battle. The guy that knocked on the door earlier is fighting my friend, thankfully he's losing to my friend. Up next Gary fucking Busey lunges at one of these mofos and bites their ear off then knocks them out with his shoe and disappears for the day. Russell Crowe is taking on two of these fuckers and knocks them out pretty quickly while yelling out "i'm always up for a fight!". So 3 down and Denzel Washington is taking on Tom Cruise, it's a good fight but Denzel knocks him out with a solid knee. 5 left and I'm taking on two of them, one of them socks me with a solid left hook but I counter with a jab+cross combo that knocks his ass silly, the other mofo eats a knee for his troubles and now there's 3 left but when I look over my friend beat his opponent so just two more to go. Denzel takes care of the last guy so now it's just John Travolta left which you guessed it is taking on Nicolas Cage which is appropriate as it's like a rematch from Face/Off. Nic Cage is laying waste, he throws a few punches that look like this:
And Travolta is on queer street and can't keep his composure, so Cage finishes him with a high kick that looks something like this and it's goodnight Irene:
After that the scientologists left my friend alone.
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Will he call me Mr. Kotter? Because that was my nickname in college. That's a dealbreaker if he wants to go up my nose with a rubber hose.
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Accept what, TS?
enough to keep you quiet
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at a spa or gym
do you accept?
No. I'd go Superfly-TNT Guns of Navarone and tell him his religion came from a demon.
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i wanna see a reality show where scientologist recruiters, mormon missionaries, jehovas witnesses ect all live in the same house for a year and the goal is to convert as many people in the house to your religion as you can
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Aren't there supposed to be benefits to this proposition? I mean the other dudes promised me werewolf strength or vampire immortality.
So far Travolta's only offered to take all my money and make the world think I'm dumb.
Not much of a dilemma here.
So far Travolta's only offered to take all my money and make the world think I'm dumb.
Not much of a dilemma here.
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i see some solid potential with this.
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I'm not really into trucking dudes, so I'll pass. Would tell him how much I liked his performance in Pulp Fiction as I walked away, and then gave him a peace sign as I walked through the fog.
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Lube or no lube?
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That exit's cool as shit bro, but you know John'd spoil the moment with 'Come on man let's just do handjobs'
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at a spa or gym
do you accept?
I would just concentrate on not dropping the soap
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Scientologists are bad.
My dumbass friend asked one of them about what they do and for weeks they wouldn't stop harassing him on the phone or knocking on his door asking him to take that test or whatever the fuck it is. So he called me to come help him, we hung out at his house watching TV waiting for one of them to inevitably knock on his door. I answered and told him to back off and that my friend isnt interested, but this guy was pushy and I told him to go away or I'll call the popo. But this mofo was relentless so I threw a quick stinging jab and he staggered back but still wasn't going down so I've gotta give him props for that. I then threw a 2 punch combo which dropped him but one of his scumbag friends that was waiting in the car got out and attacked me, I charged at him while he was charging at me and landed a flying knee. The other guy got up and picked his friend up and told me that this wasn't over and they're coming with back up. I knew shit was about to go down so I texted my good friend Nicolas Cage.
About half an hour later I see 2 cars pull up and out come about 8 scientologists which include Tom Cruise and John Travolta. Me and my friend go out and try to stall them till Nic Cage arrives. Thankfully he arrived just a few seconds after and pulled up in his one of a kind, 1935 Rolls-Royce Phantom. With him he had Gary Busey, Russell Crowe and Denzel Washington. Cage filled them in on the situation and we all agreed it was time to kick some ass. So it's 6 vs 8 and we begin our battle. The guy that knocked on the door earlier is fighting my friend, thankfully he's losing to my friend. Up next Gary fucking Busey lunges at one of these mofos and bites their ear off then knocks them out with his shoe and disappears for the day. Russell Crowe is taking on two of these fuckers and knocks them out pretty quickly while yelling out "i'm always up for a fight!". So 3 down and Denzel Washington is taking on Tom Cruise, it's a good fight but Denzel knocks him out with a solid knee. 5 left and I'm taking on two of them, one of them socks me with a solid left hook but I counter with a jab+cross combo that knocks his ass silly, the other mofo eats a knee for his troubles and now there's 3 left but when I look over my friend beat his opponent so just two more to go. Denzel takes care of the last guy so now it's just John Travolta left which you guessed it is taking on Nicolas Cage which is appropriate as it's like a rematch from Face/Off. Nic Cage is laying waste, he throws a few punches that look like this:
And Travolta is on queer street and can't keep his composure, so Cage finishes him with a high kick that looks something like this and it's goodnight Irene:
After that the scientologists left my friend alone.
GOAT post.
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