YOUR CONFIDENCE/SELF ESTEEM-where is it/has it been and why

Lifes great for me right now in pretty much every way I can imagine. But that could all change in the blink of an eye (hope not though)
 
My confidence is pretty high but there are some days I just dont want to talk to anyone and just keep to myself.

My confidence is probably the highest right now and I attribute it to:

- Almost dying. Makes me appreciate my life now and truly believe money means shit when it comes to happiness...but doesnt mean i wont try to make some chedda.
- Raised by my mom and having no money and still graduating from a university without debt.
- Honesty. If I dont know something, I ask around. The guys I ask are more than happy to help. I dont pretend to know everything.
- MMA class. Thats for being able to take hard punches and getting tapped so many times. If I can somewhat hang with fighters, I can hang with people on the streets. Which led me to not being in a fight since 3 years ago (got sucker punched so I had no choice but to bang) and before that not since high school.
- pretty much just life experience. If i been through all this stuff, I feel like most so called problems today arent that big of a deal.
 
Philippou4Life said:
My confidence and self esteem has always been below average-average for as long as I can remember.

I never could hold onto many friends and making social interaction was always difficult for me.

Although I'm successful in my career and I live very comfortably, it's mainly because I just work really hard and I have a true fake-it til you make it attitude about a lot of things. My dating efforts have been hit/miss, mostly miss. I'm finally trying to get myself out there, but I've been taking it slow. That scares the absolute hell out of me.

I don't think I'll ever be a highly confident person, but I'm pretty content with myself with what I've been able to accomplish in spite of that.
Click to expand...

This is me except the feeling of loneliness can really bring me down. I have my friends and a girl. but its always in the back of my mind that if they were to all go away could I pick myself back up.
 
Turismo said:
14-15.

Life story pretty much.

I used to get awesome grades, lots of friends/girlfriends, played allot of sports and had a bright future.

I developed hyperhydrosis on the forehead, underarms and inner thighs. I sought advice, but I was told that everyone sweats. Its no biggie. I don't know many people who can release enough odourless sweat to soak through a t-shirt within 30 seconds of putting it on. For those who don't understand, its a real f*cker. I sweat even if i'm just sitting down reading a book. But the worst is part is that whenever my heart rate rises even slightly (whether it be through anxiety or any standard activity) my whole body temperature shoots up and I get the 'hot and flustered' feeling making it impossible to focus or think properly and it brings on a bunch of mild headaches. Not only that but the hydrosis from my inner thighs soak parts of the underwear and rubs against the skin causing them to chaffe like a b*tch. Because of this I had to give up football, (could no longer run around for 90mins) & do morning runs. Casually walking to work will trigger it, going shopping will trigger it. Doing 10 pushups will trigger it. Basically anything triggers it. So naturally everyone I work with considers me a lazy slacker, and makes fun of me for being a slow worker. The truth is, i'd never had problems with hard work before the condition. Its just that being 'lazy' is the only way I can prevent the condition from overwhelming me. Honestly. And then I end up being viewed as incompetent because I'm always making mistakes in the 'hot and flustered' mode. It turns out that hyperhydrosis sufferers don't sweat when they sleep. And for a few hours late at night, I'm fine. I can go for a run, do whatever I'd like to the best of my ability and not be affected. So I started staying up at night, and making the most of it. And so that led to a f*cked up sleep pattern. Making the days even worse.

Then I got heart palpitations, chest & arm pains and a bunch of stuff that came back clear. Thankfully, I no longer get them. My grades plummetted. Failed my A levels (meant no entry to university).

And naturally, all this led to (undiagnosed) depression.

It's stopped me doing allot of things I've always wanted to do.

My family, friends and work colleagues still quizz me on why I'm not doing more with my life.They really have no idea how bad it is. And to them, the sudden change is unexplainable.

So my confidence and esteem have been shot to shit.
But hopefully it'll get better.
Click to expand...

Could be worse things than excessive sweating.
 
Where does my self confidence come from? #YOLO , that's where.



Seriously though:

Talking to new people? Fuck it, I don't know them and if they don't like me, not a big deal; it doesn't mean I don't have to like me.

Trying new activities? What's the worst that can happen, I don't like it and wasted some time/money?

New Job? What's the worst that can happen? I don't like that either!?!? Who would want to do something forty hours a week that they don't enjoy anyways?

Etc, Etc, Etc.

Honestly, we have nothing to lose. We came into this world naked with nothing to our name. Things that are truly important in life are ideals that cannot be taken away from us by anyone, everything else we will eventually lose. So why worry?
 
Lifer said:
I don't know if having many friends is a sign of having high self-esteem. Some people are just fine w/ few acquaintances.

Confidence is a fragile thing. I do agree that you should be more comfortable at what you do as you gain experience from it whether it's job, dating sports etc.
Click to expand...

Solid post. I think having priorities and not needing to fit in is a sign of confidence. A lot of 'popular' people seem to *wander aimlessly* and find themselves downhill as the years go by.

I agree with the fragility of esteem. I had all the confidence in the world at the beginning my college freshman year. However, I fell into the category of trying to please everyone and losing focus of my priorities like training and sports. When combined with sleeping around too much/earning a bad rep - and on top of that, getting dumped with the one girl I was legitimately into - I definitely had a change of mind set. But priorities got back on track and confidence slowly resurfaced.

*INB4* "Not all those who wander are lost"
 
I'm crazy, I can think I'm the greatest and life is perfect or hate everything about myself and see the world as decrepit hell. Sometimes all at the same time. Why? Probably chemical imbalances.
 
Minimal Payne said:
i generally feel like im not good at anything
Click to expand...

Damn that's tough.

What do you like to do?

With me, I like the interwebs so I got my degree on computer information systems. I'm not the best at it but I do it right. So the owner of the company trusts me since he knows I take it seriously. Most people will trust you if you just try and not slacking off.

Find something that you enjoy and find a career related to that field.

Also, there's gotta be something you're good at but maybe you're looking at it the wrong way?

I hope things will change for the better for you broski.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Latest posts

Forum statistics

Threads
1,266,370
Messages
57,397,516
Members
175,690
Latest member
Damonejones

Share this page

Back
Top