Introvert despite my best attempts. Once in a while a girl will come around that flips all my switches and I become very extroverted around her. Very playful, flirty, alpha. But if she rejects me or is already involved with someone else, I get down on myself and revert back to my loner self. I tend to fall hard for women of certain types (anyone nerdy, geeky, shy quiet) but I also have an attraction to alternative girls (tattoos, piercings, rocker types).
My dream girl would be someone of both backgrounds; someone who's into rocker stuff, but without all its vices (dishonesty, promiscuity, drug abuse, etc.) and was into a lot of the same nerdy stuff I'm also into.
When I meet a girl that meets most or all of this I fall HARD. But it's not often I run into girls like this and when I do, I fail to attract them every single time. So I go back to being my introverted loner self.
I have very real fears that I'm going to spend the majority of my life alone. Most of my family and friends that are my age are already in long term relationships, getting married, or already having kids and raising a family. I'm 33 now and just got out of a 3-year engagement and am back to less than square one.
Being introverted sucks.
