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For those of us who believe in divine intervention in this world, who do you think is the most powerful god in MMA ?
Jesus Christ
Lord Jesus Christ has always been a cornerstone of mixed martial arts. His warriors have excelled at the highest levels of competition, and many titles have been won in His name.
Jon "Philippians 4:20" Jones, Anderson Silva, Vitor "Lion of Jesus" Belfort, Holly "The Preacher's Daughter" Holm, among many, many others.
Jesus Christ's MMA resume speaks for itself, and he is frontrunner to the Godly MMA throne.
Gay Jesus
Gay Jesus is the miracle man of MMA. He makes it rain when he wants to and no one can stop him.
Often described as a pleasant, easy-going fellow, he likes to spend his free time drinking beer and playing pool with Yoel Romero and his translator, Ray.
While it's generally known that fighters' loyalties to their deities go in one way, Gay Jesus is unrelenting in his support of his homeboys. He miraculously pulled Yoel Romero back from the clutches of a USADA ban, inspired Yoel to exploit the stool "bug" in the MMA rulebook, kept him in title contention despite thoroughly being outclassed by Robert Whittaker, and most recently he granted Yoel "Soldier of Gay Jesus" Romero a spectacular victory over the unbeliever Luke Rockhold.
Prophet Muhammad
Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon Him) observed MMA grow from afar. He was not particularly fond of the sport in its early days.
However, on 12 November 2016, everything changed. Allah's final prophet on Earth stared at his TV screen in dismay as Conor McGregor demolished Edward Alvarez and claimed the LW throne.
"This degeneracy must end !" exclaimed Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon Him). And thus he empowered Khabib Nurmagomedov, healed his injuries, absorbed his Tiramisus, and established him as the avenger who will put an end to the decadence of Dana White and WME-IMG. And what better vehicle to the Prophet's vengeance than arguably the most explosive and terrifying wrestler in the UFC ?
Lucifer
"How far are you willing to go to achieve your dreams ?" a cloaked figure asked a young Irish catholic once upon a time.
The Irish kid, coming from a humiliating loss to Joseph Duffy, was having none of it. His drive to succeed was stronger than anything in this world.
"I will give you everything life has to offer. All you have to do is sign this contract and surrender your soul to me"
8 years later, this kid became the 100 million dollar champ champ, and the embodiment of Satan's power and dominion over Earth.
The Just Bleed God
Before the age of WME-IMG, Reebok, Sage Northcutt, and Paige Van Zant, legends and myths talk about times where rivers of blood traversed the Octagon.
Legends speak of great sacrifices that were put forth upon the altar of a certain Just Bleed God.
The times have changed, and JBG worship became more of a cult than a religion. Even in these dire times where JBG followers (such as Saint Yamasaki a.k.a. "The Watcher") are being persecuted, the JBG remains strong.
The Old Gods may weaken, but they never die.
Jesus Christ
Lord Jesus Christ has always been a cornerstone of mixed martial arts. His warriors have excelled at the highest levels of competition, and many titles have been won in His name.
Jon "Philippians 4:20" Jones, Anderson Silva, Vitor "Lion of Jesus" Belfort, Holly "The Preacher's Daughter" Holm, among many, many others.
Jesus Christ's MMA resume speaks for itself, and he is frontrunner to the Godly MMA throne.
Gay Jesus
Gay Jesus is the miracle man of MMA. He makes it rain when he wants to and no one can stop him.
Often described as a pleasant, easy-going fellow, he likes to spend his free time drinking beer and playing pool with Yoel Romero and his translator, Ray.
While it's generally known that fighters' loyalties to their deities go in one way, Gay Jesus is unrelenting in his support of his homeboys. He miraculously pulled Yoel Romero back from the clutches of a USADA ban, inspired Yoel to exploit the stool "bug" in the MMA rulebook, kept him in title contention despite thoroughly being outclassed by Robert Whittaker, and most recently he granted Yoel "Soldier of Gay Jesus" Romero a spectacular victory over the unbeliever Luke Rockhold.
Prophet Muhammad
Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon Him) observed MMA grow from afar. He was not particularly fond of the sport in its early days.
However, on 12 November 2016, everything changed. Allah's final prophet on Earth stared at his TV screen in dismay as Conor McGregor demolished Edward Alvarez and claimed the LW throne.
"This degeneracy must end !" exclaimed Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon Him). And thus he empowered Khabib Nurmagomedov, healed his injuries, absorbed his Tiramisus, and established him as the avenger who will put an end to the decadence of Dana White and WME-IMG. And what better vehicle to the Prophet's vengeance than arguably the most explosive and terrifying wrestler in the UFC ?
Lucifer
"How far are you willing to go to achieve your dreams ?" a cloaked figure asked a young Irish catholic once upon a time.
The Irish kid, coming from a humiliating loss to Joseph Duffy, was having none of it. His drive to succeed was stronger than anything in this world.
"I will give you everything life has to offer. All you have to do is sign this contract and surrender your soul to me"
8 years later, this kid became the 100 million dollar champ champ, and the embodiment of Satan's power and dominion over Earth.
The Just Bleed God
Before the age of WME-IMG, Reebok, Sage Northcutt, and Paige Van Zant, legends and myths talk about times where rivers of blood traversed the Octagon.
Legends speak of great sacrifices that were put forth upon the altar of a certain Just Bleed God.
The times have changed, and JBG worship became more of a cult than a religion. Even in these dire times where JBG followers (such as Saint Yamasaki a.k.a. "The Watcher") are being persecuted, the JBG remains strong.
The Old Gods may weaken, but they never die.
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