Who Else Suffers From Self-Esteem Issues? How Do You Cope?

[MikeHolmes]

So I've been dating this smart, stable, beautiful woman lately, and all I can think to myself is that I do not deserve her. I just graduated college last month, and all I can think is how meaningless an accomplishment it is. Self-esteem issues ruin my mood and cloud my judgment no matter what I do in life.

I was wondering about other experiences with poor self-esteem, and what they've done to manage their lives better.

 

[Mike]

Hey bud, good for you. You graduated already huh? You got a new job now? I forgot what you were studying. And you got a new relationship too? Good for you man it sounds like everything is going great for you right now.


As you know I have the same kinds of issues, and the best advice I can give you is not to overthink it too much. When you have depression it's hard to give yourself credit and just let yourself enjoy your successes, but from someone looking at it from the outside you've got a lot to be proud of. Just keep doing what you're doing. When you're not used to happiness it's difficult to adjust to it at first. Just maintain the behavior that's gotten you to where you're at, and after a while you'll notice you're starting to enjoy life more and second guess yourself less and less. It's a gradual process.


Just concentrate on your career and treating your lady right and the rest will follow. Really happy for you bud.

 

[Soma]

Confidence and esteem will come from experience. Overcoming challenges, both internal and external. Fail, persist, succeed. Sometimes you won't succeed but then you learn what you're capable of. Then you know more about yourself and you gain confidence. With that confidence you push harder or you come up with other ways to tackle the issue.

It's all in the "doing". So stop thinking. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Get off this board and go do shit.

 

[tehend]

Make lots of money.

 

[TheRuthlessOne]

Drugs

Lots of them

Spoiler

Don't judge me

 

[MikeHolmes]

Hey bud, good for you. You graduated already huh? You got a new job now? I forgot what you were studying. And you got a new relationship too? Good for you man it sounds like everything is going great for you right now.


As you know I have the same kinds of issues, and the best advice I can give you is not to overthink it too much. When you have depression it's hard to give yourself credit and just let yourself enjoy your successes, but from someone looking at it from the outside you've got a lot to be proud of. Just keep doing what you're doing. When you're not used to happiness it's difficult to adjust to it at first. Just maintain the behavior that's gotten you to where you're at, and after a while you'll notice you're starting to enjoy life more and second guess yourself less and less. It's a gradual process.


Just concentrate on your career and treating your lady right and the rest will follow. Really happy for you bud.

Thanks.

I graduated college last month and then went into a really depressed state. I finally found a therapist last week and have been feeling better lately. The self-esteem issue just doesn't go away though.

I am studying for the Certified Public Accountant exam (4 parts). Despite being a 4.00 GPA student, I always think of myself as an idiot while I'm working on the material, which just creates another obstacle. I am so jealous of the normal mind, which doesn't take the worst case scenario out of everything.

 

[lion paw]

So I've been dating this smart, stable, beautiful woman lately, and all I can think to myself is that I do not deserve her. I just graduated college last month, and all I can think is how meaningless an accomplishment it is. Self-esteem issues ruin my mood and cloud my judgment no matter what I do in life.

I was wondering about other experiences with poor self-esteem, and what they've done to manage their lives better.

I still got esteem issues. However, I slowly try to pull myself together. For example, I tell myself, it's in my head. You gotta tell yourself, it's in your head. Half the time you try to predict something might happen, it won't.

Another thing, exercise. Whether it's walking, weight lifting, kayaking, find something you like.

Try activities. Painting, writing, skiing, hitting up strip clubs (just kidding!) Find something to take your mind off it.

Good luck man. I'm somewhat in that boat, but ima bust out that mu' phucka!!!!

 

[MoparOrNoCar]

There are guys out there with zero college education. They've never even kissed a girl and they don't have any friends. Be happy for what you have because there's always people out there with much less that would give anything to spend a day in your shoes.

 

[RetiredSlave]

Volunteering our most precious resource, time, helps immensely. See if you can get a gig at a local soup kitchen, suntin like that. Not only are you helping out but it crystallizes how good your life actually is. Yours sounds nice. Best wishes.

 

[Aegon Spengler]

Honestly, helping other people who go through similar issues (or any problems/issues) will raise your sense of self worth immeasurably.

Don't look at it like "oh these people have less, I should feel guilty for feeling bad" because that's nonsense. Nobody else is you or can be where your at. Look at is as "we're in this together and I can be a leader".

There's an old quote, "nothing stirs your own courage like someone else's fear" and I think that's true

 

[Mike]

Thanks.

I graduated college last month and then went into a really depressed state. I finally found a therapist last week and have been feeling better lately. The self-esteem issue just doesn't go away though.

I am studying for the Certified Public Accountant exam (4 parts). Despite being a 4.00 GPA student, I always think of myself as an idiot while I'm working on the material, which just creates another obstacle. I am so jealous of the normal mind, which doesn't take the worst case scenario out of everything.

I can relate on that, it's pretty normal. When I took psychology last quarter, my professor mentioned that students always say they have to work so much harder than everyone else to get the gpa they have. She said people have a false idea of how well everyone else is doing, because a lot of the time people don't share when they're struggling.


I feel out of my depth in my biology class this quarter, and several times I've felt like it's just too hard for me and I should give up, I'm not smart enough. Then I talked to a few other students and found out that about half of the class is really struggling with the material. It's still hard, but I just tell myself that a certain % of these same people struggling are going to gut their way through it, and eventually get their degree and be successes. I'm going to be in that group, because I'm not going to give up.


So don't let it get you down, a lot of people feel the same way that you do. I would advise trying to make friends with people in your class, I think the advice about exercising and maybe some sort of charity work are good as well. I'd stick with the therapy as well, it'll help out in the long run.

 

[Strange King]

You have to understand no one is perfect no matter how much they pretend to be.

Live life ready for rejection and no matter if and when it comes you do your best

 

[mb23100]

Dont worry shes probably already banging Luke Rockhold

 

[Loiosh]

We're all taking different roads to the same destination.

 

[TrippleOG]

lol i came in here expecting the guy to be a loner with no friends, no pussy. But he's whining about dating a "beautiful woman" and "graduating college" GTFO meme anyone?

 

[Bobby Boulders]

@MikeHolmes

Be the God of your world dude.

At the same time, be humble. I don't think you have a problem with that.

At the end of the day, you're the most important person in your life. And that's true of anyone, regardless of the cliches that will be thrown my way for saying that.

Love yourself.

 

[Jimmy Jazz]

I wish I could be like you and let someone love me. Ever since my break up I've ignored 5 really nice and attractive girls who were into me.

 

[KONG-D'SNT-TAP]

Hey bud, good for you. You graduated already huh? You got a new job now? I forgot what you were studying. And you got a new relationship too? Good for you man it sounds like everything is going great for you right now.


As you know I have the same kinds of issues, and the best advice I can give you is not to overthink it too much. When you have depression it's hard to give yourself credit and just let yourself enjoy your successes, but from someone looking at it from the outside you've got a lot to be proud of. Just keep doing what you're doing. When you're not used to happiness it's difficult to adjust to it at first. Just maintain the behavior that's gotten you to where you're at, and after a while you'll notice you're starting to enjoy life more and second guess yourself less and less. It's a gradual process.


Just concentrate on your career and treating your lady right and the rest will follow. Really happy for you bud.

Mike I don't know why you have bad self esteem. You seem like a real good guy

It kinda annoys me you're always bummed out. Not thst I'm annoyed at you per se just thst you seem cool and I feel bad you're bummed a lot.

If you lived by me I'd make you come hangout with me and my buddies. I'd take you to do fun stuff like the beach and happy hour down the jersey shore for the summer

 

[76Knockout]

I have the same issues but am single so it could be worse man.

 

[Mike]

Mike I don't know why you have bad self esteem. You seem like a real good guy

It kinda annoys me you're always bummed out. Not thst I'm annoyed at you per se just thst you seem cool and I feel bad you're bummed a lot.

If you lived by me I'd make you come hangout with me and my buddies. I'd take you to do fun stuff like the beach and happy hour down the jersey shore for the summer

That's nice of you to say. It seems to be a combination of genetics (depression and anxiety set in when I was around 11 or 12) and poor decisions I've made, from a combination of being in a mental fog, having no belief in myself, and having no mentors when I was younger.

I'm working on turning things around though, so we'll see. Ideally my education will work out, and I'll manage to get a good job in a few years when I finish school.