Whew that was close

[toasty]

Please share any close calls you've had

Don't know why this story has come back to me and is now stuck in my head but it is.

When I was in college, we had these incredibly long hallways that were divided in half by these big heavy solid metal doors with no window or peep hole. I mean these fuckers were big heavy could have been used to seal a submarine type fire proof dented bastards that never sealed properly with those push bars in the middle of them. Like one below this but much wider and really thick and always loose from prior damage,



Anyway, I guess I was pissed off about something and I took a running start at one, hit it with a flying shoulder slam, and watched it leap open and crash against the back wall of the other hallway. Only to see my friend from the hallway standing there with his hand outstretched to grab the door handle and a look of utter terror on his face.

Somehow it never occurred to me that someone might be on the other side of that door.

He looked at me and said something like "Holy fuck dude, if I had been a fraction of a second earlier you would have fucking knocked me cold"

We're still friends to this day but I doubt we would've been if I'd busted his arm or caved his face in with a flying steel door slam.

 

[Fedorgasm]

One time I accidentally knocked this gang banger's cigarette out of his hand and into his lap where it burned him.

I was horrified but for some reason I started laughing and you know how when you try not to laugh, it just makes you laugh harder? Well that's what happened to me. In my head I'm certain that this guy is about to murder me, and yet I can't stop laughing at him. Right in front of his friends too.

I have no idea why that dude didn't at least punch me. But I'm thankful for it. His friends probably still make fun of him for letting this punk ass teenager clown him like that.

I guess deep down he was a nice guy.

 

[Get To Da Choppa]

Please share any close calls you've had

Don't know why this story has come back to me and is now stuck in my head but it is.

When I was in college, we had these incredibly long hallways that were divided in half by these big heavy solid metal doors with no window or peep hole. I mean these fuckers were big heavy could have been used to seal a submarine type fire proof dented bastards that never sealed properly with those push bars in the middle of them. Like one below this but much wider and really thick and always loose from prior damage,

View attachment 1112626

Anyway, I guess I was pissed off about something and I took a running start at one, hit it with a flying shoulder slam, and watched it leap open and crash against the back wall of the other hallway. Only to see my friend from the hallway standing there with his hand outstretched to grab the door handle and a look of utter terror on his face.

Somehow it never occurred to me that someone might be on the other side of that door.

He looked at me and said something like "Holy fuck dude, if I had been a fraction of a second earlier you would have fucking knocked me cold"

We're still friends to this day but I doubt we would've been if I'd busted his arm or caved his face in with a flying steel door slam.

I once almost married a single mom

 

[syct23]

I once almost married a single mom

User name checks out…

 

[Brom Bones]

I once almost married a single mom

 

[Fuzzybabyducks]

When I was a kid me and my friend were at a lake at a campground. We were swimming under water pinching each others butts for some reason.. I lost track of him and grabbed some Hispanic guys ass by mistake . Didn’t realize until I popped up laughing ,. Once I saw it wasn’t my friend I slowly sunk back under water and swam away, left and never went back to the lake.

not sure if this is what you were looking for

 

[Batjester]

Middle school, probably about 6th or 7th grade, and walking home we had to cross a pretty busy street. We would just haul ass across it instead of waiting of the light to change (cartoons man). Well one day instead of paying attention to the traffic I just booked it across the street. Got to the other side and looked around right away and a bus was about a quarter of the way already in the intersection. I missed getting taken out by a city bus by maybe a foot or two.

 

[Batjester]

When I was a kid me and my friend were at a lake at a campground. We were swimming under water pinching each others butts for some reason.. I lost track of him and grabbed some Hispanic guys ass by mistake . Didn’t realize until I popped up laughing ,. Once I saw it wasn’t my friend I slowly sunk back under water and swam away, left and never went back to the lake.

not sure if this is what you were looking for

"by mistake"

 

[toasty]

One time I accidentally knocked this gang banger's cigarette out of his hand and into his lap where it burned him.

I was horrified but for some reason I started laughing and you know how when you try not to laugh, it just makes you laugh harder? Well that's what happened to me. In my head I'm certain that this guy is about to murder me, and yet I can't stop laughing at him. Right in front of his friends too.

I have no idea why that dude didn't at least punch me. But I'm thankful for it. His friends probably still make fun of him for letting this punk ass teenager clown him like that.

I guess deep down he was a nice guy.

and today that burnt gang banger is known as @Pittie Petey and post about his love of playful dogs and rom coms. life, so many twists.

 

[Stoic1]

Was able to detect a vehicle approaching from the rear way to quickly TWICE. Was able to pull off into the shoulder from a dead stop and watch vehicles in front of me get totalled. One was an ambulance so it had mass.

In Iraq I had a bad feeling about a building as we were doing door to doors in Diyala. Like, my squad leader about to hit the door and I told him to wait and look in the window first. House IED. We hadn't looked in windows earlier. I remember him sitting down smoking a cig as we called EOD. He was staring at me and I said, "Bro, I feel like we can't skip the chaplains service when he comes out" We both laughed.

As a kid I was putting gas in the lawnmower out in the shed/carport closet area where we kept the mower. That was also where the waterheater was. Apparently fumes are flammable. The entire place exploded and I was on fire. Managed to get out alive with just minor burns.

Just a couple months ago I had a reef shark come way too close and I had to boop him on the nose with my fin.

I have like a thousand of these...

 

[Pittie Petey]

and today that burnt gang banger is known as @Pittie Petey and post about his love of playful dogs and rom coms. life, so many twists.

Life comes at ya pretty fast, sometimes

 

[toasty]

When I was a kid me and my friend were at a lake at a campground. We were swimming under water pinching each others butts for some reason.. I lost track of him and grabbed some Hispanic guys ass by mistake . Didn’t realize until I popped up laughing ,. Once I saw it wasn’t my friend I slowly sunk back under water and swam away, left and never went back to the lake.

not sure if this is what you were looking for

And that hispanic guy was @Pittie Petey and this explains all his posting about his love of fuzzy baby ducks, It's a small world after all....it's a small small world

 

[Pittie Petey]

And that hispanic guy was @Pittie Petey and this explains all his posting about his love of fuzzy baby ducks, It's a small world after all....it's a small small world

He's got strong hands

 

[Versez]

I once almost married a single mom

Oof

 

[PRIDEWASBETTER]

I was driving home from work one day and I saw someone in one of the merge lanes veer off and hit a light pole. The pole fell down into my lane about 15 feet in front of me. Luckily I was paying attention and stopped to let it fall or else it would've gone through the roof of my car. Someone was watching out for me that day.

 

[Flower2dPeople]

When I was 17, I once played drums for my sister's sport cheering squad at an all-female catholic college (lots of thirsty college chicks). The one with the biggest tits invited me to her place. We started making out in her room. Her older brother and his gf arrived and saw my packs of marlboro reds in the living room. The chick and her brother's gf telepathically linked (idk how they do that). The gf said it was hers (she smokes marlboro lights) and invited the brother to his room. Big tit chick pulls me out of her closet where she shoved me 2 minutes prior and I ran like hell out of there. I only got a blowjob. No ragrets.

 

[GSP_37]

At this intersection where sometimes the light absolutely won't change for several minutes unless a car on the opposite side is on the weight sensor, I stop as close to the line as possible. Once, this big fucking public bus turned left and kinda fast and looked like for sure this fooker was gonna scrape my car and I couldn't back up or steer way enough and luckily it probably barely missed me.

 

[TheTickG]

Please share any close calls you've had

Don't know why this story has come back to me and is now stuck in my head but it is.

When I was in college, we had these incredibly long hallways that were divided in half by these big heavy solid metal doors with no window or peep hole. I mean these fuckers were big heavy could have been used to seal a submarine type fire proof dented bastards that never sealed properly with those push bars in the middle of them. Like one below this but much wider and really thick and always loose from prior damage,

View attachment 1112626

Anyway, I guess I was pissed off about something and I took a running start at one, hit it with a flying shoulder slam, and watched it leap open and crash against the back wall of the other hallway. Only to see my friend from the hallway standing there with his hand outstretched to grab the door handle and a look of utter terror on his face.

Somehow it never occurred to me that someone might be on the other side of that door.

He looked at me and said something like "Holy fuck dude, if I had been a fraction of a second earlier you would have fucking knocked me cold"

We're still friends to this day but I doubt we would've been if I'd busted his arm or caved his face in with a flying steel door slam.

I had a gun to my back, that was kind of close.

Another time, I lifted my knee so that it would get stabbed, instead of my stomach. That was kind of close.

Another time I was driving and entering a highway. The entrance to the highway was from the right side. I was going 50-60mph. To my right was a gas station. The guy from the middle lane on the left side decided to speed into the gas station. He would have t-boned my car if I didn't see him. Instead, I had to gun it into the gas station to avoid getting hit and luckily hit no one in the process. That was close.

Another time I drove over black ice and my car did a 360 in one direction, then the opposite direction. When I finally stopped, my car was in the wrong lane, facing sideways direction, and a couple feet from falling in a ditch. Also, close.

 

[Bacco]

Got tons of these, even just list of almost getting caught cheating would be long lol

Thinking weird stuff

We was kids, my cousin was swimming in the sea, threw discobolus style decent size flat rock at him to scare him because fuck him, end up throw was bit too good and actually reached him, lucky it kinda bounced on top of his hed just with the flat part and keept the trajectory rotating
Few centimeters lower and would have struck his forehead full power with the edge of the "disc"
Ran into water grabbed my cousin and brought him to the beach explaining my horrified aunt "a stone hit him"

Super fun thing i struck very same cousin with a plastic boomerang on the forehead causing big deep cut on his forehead, but there at least nobody could say was intentional as we were very far and i'm not some fucking australian boomerang pro, plus shit did some weird curve he was on the side completely sure to be safe took it like a rabbit take a car in the face

Another time one night was with my friends in a parked car after a party (was my birthday) we moved the car to go buy some beers at some night food truck, we returned on our parking in like 15 minutes only to discover fast huge car destroyed itsef on very same spot we was parked in and ambulance was already coming, so could have happened

One time we was one scooter (i was the passenger), one car passing with red light crashed on us on right side, saw it come with corner of my eye istinctively raised my right leg and when scooter got struck i got bounced flying on the left
Somehow i landed on my palms and knees without basically any damage but realized i landed exactly in the middle of opposite traffic direction lane, raised my face shitscared to see if car was coming only to see car pushing breaks hard stopping just in time short distance from me like in some cheap action movie lol

Another time with scooter my accelerator handle got stuck at max had something like this

and had to "wrestle" it down to remove keys, lucky was evening/night iirc so no many cars/people around

Not funny to write as there's not uch to say, but one time trekking on Alps could have done loooong fall on rocks but lucky my hand found a branch when i was still standing so none of that happened, so essentially nothing happened but still was probably closest to death experience

One time as teen was at a riding stables one my ex gf was taking lesson, had nothing for like an hour to do just fucked around at some point out of nowhere two unleashed decent size angry dogs bolted out of nowhere coming at me, i realized run was'nt option as one pitbull like one instantly looked very fast so just stood my ground there, we had this weird staredown where they were barking aggressively getting closer and i was shouting at them as if they were my own dogs behaving badly and i was mad at them too instead shitscared, somehow it confused/calmed them to the point when they was bit more calm made them sniff hand and pet them (i really love doggos as soon stop want murder me), GF found me playing with sticks with them iirc lol

Then the ones you would not write on a forum lol

 

[Flower2dPeople]

Got tons of these, even just list of almost getting caught cheating would be long lol

Thinking weird stuff

We was kids, my cousin was swimming in the sea, threw discobolus style decent size flat rock at him to scare him because fuck him, end up throw was bit too good and actually reached him, lucky it kinda bounced on top of his hed just with the flat part and keept the trajectory rotating
Few centimeters lower and would have struck his forehead full power with the edge of the "disc"
Ran into water grabbed my cousin and brought him to the beach explaining my horrified aunt "a stone hit him"

Super fun thing i struck very same cousin with a plastic boomerang on the forehead causing big deep cut on his forehead, but there at least nobody could say was intentional as we were very far and i'm not some fucking australian boomerang pro, plus shit did some weird curve he was on the side completely sure to be safe took it like a rabbit take a car in the face

Another time one night was with my friends in a parked car after a party (was my birthday) we moved the car to go buy some beers at some night food truck, we returned on our parking in like 15 minutes only to discover fast huge car destroyed itsef on very same spot we was parked in and ambulance was already coming, so could have happened

One time we was one scooter (i was the passenger), one car passing with red light crashed on us on right side, saw it come with corner of my eye istinctively raised my right leg and when scooter got struck i got bounced flying on the left
Somehow i landed on my palms and knees without basically any damage but realized i landed exactly in the middle of opposite traffic direction lane, raised my face shitscared to see if car was coming only to see car pushing breaks hard stopping just in time short distance from me like in some cheap action movie lol

Another time with scooter my accelerator handle got stuck at max had something like this

and had to "wrestle" it down to remove keys, lucky was evening/night iirc so no many cars/people around

Not funny to write as there's not uch to say, but one time trekking on Alps could have done loooong fall on rocks but lucky my hand found a branch when i was still standing so none of that happened, so essentially nothing happened but still was probably closest to death experience

One time as teen was at a riding stables one my ex gf was taking lesson, had nothing for like an hour to do just fucked around at some point out of nowhere two unleashed decent size angry dogs bolted out of nowhere coming at me, i realized run was'nt option as one pitbull like one instantly looked very fast so just stood my ground there, we had this weird staredown where they were barking aggressively getting closer and i was shouting at them as if they were my own dogs behaving badly and i was mad at them too instead shitscared, somehow it confused/calmed them to the point when they was bit more calm made them sniff hand and pet them (i really love doggos as soon stop want murder me), GF found me playing with sticks with them iirc lol

Then the ones you would not write on a forum lol

Your cousin needs a titanium forehead.