One thing I really believe though is that we don't have an essence. Like, "discover who you are!" ... I don't think we can fully know ourselves. I can't say who I am. I think we have traits that are stronger than other traits, that is, tendencies... But all in all, a storm of personalities that sometimes "scream" to show up.
Or like, when someone is generally calm, polite, and in a discussion, unexpectedly, this person explodes and starts cursing at the other person. Some may say that "the person revealed themselves at that time"... I don't think so though. I generally think these moments are also more calculated than an off moment, like, "wow, I didn't want to". I think the explosions in heated arguments are premeditated, but at the same time not a reveal of the person's "true nature". More like, a side that is generally controlled so much that it is constantly shouting for a moment, which is released in rare cases.
Or when ppl talk about "release yourself, be who you are deep down, express yourself, don't hide your nature"... That's, to me, a foolish advice many times. Not always, but when people, artists, whatever, encourage others to be themselves, ehh... Most people are monsters inside. I don't want people to express themselves openly. Like, be whom you are, but just don't express yourself too much lol. I think the social side in which most people adapt to and keep an ugly side to themselves is good, needs to be encouraged and it doesn't make the person fake. It means they have a consciousness that can tame that ugly side because they know it's an ugly side, and the control they exert so extreme actions never manifest is who the closest to who they are — basically, you are who you most times present yourself as.
If someone did something terrible, like a serial killer, serial rapist, a genocidal... That is the definition of a monster. Can they have their reasons to act that way? Yes. But with certain extreme actions, I think the reasoning is important for a social study, but not to excuse the killer, the genocidal. If someone spoke to a Nazi soldier who was a part of the horrors of Nazism, I'm sure they could tell their side of the story that could make people sympathetic to them in some sort of way, but it doesn't matter at all because the extreme crime will always be the definition of that person no matter how their stories may be true and have contributed to shape them...