What do you think of "separating" from your family?

[ZroC]

What I mean is, how would you feel if you moved away and didn't see your parents or siblings once over the course of twenty years?

I would love to move abroad soon but the idea of not seeing them for that long would break my heart. These days this seems like something from a bygone era now. Young people seem to be staying closer to the nest or not moving out till later on at all.

The idea of moving far away at say 17 and just not seeing your family again seems so alien to me. My Auntie left home at 14 and moved to England where she eventually raised a family, didn't see her mother for thirty years. I mean what are people who do this thinking? It seems almost animalistic, like how kittens grow up and don't even recognise who their mother was.

I guess one of the reasons it bothers me is because when I was a kid my cousins were my best friends, my aunties and uncles used to pop around all the time. Then we moved to the country side and after the house warming parties I didn't see any of them again until we were all around 24. My last memory of them were as kids. I'd hate for something like that to happen to my closest family. Imagine leaving for 20 years then returning to find your mother in a wheelchair barely able to speak.

While I'm sure plenty of people still do this, as I said above, I also think it must have decreased quite a bit. It seems like everyone in my Dad's generation fucked off to the UK and Denmark as teenagers for years on end without second thoughts. Most of the people I went to school with haven't ventured far from the nest.

I was looking at the news here (in Ireland) a while ago and there was a sob story about how a twenty five year old might have to move out of his parents and go to Oz to get a job because of the recession. I'm not saying it's wrong to be at home at that age, because there are different circumstances for everyone. I just think it shows a sign of the times when mainstream media is encouraging 25 year olds to live with their parents, when back in the day they used to boot 13 year olds across the border in droves. In 1940 the reporter would have smacked him upside the head with an XXX whiskey bottle.

 

[BrutalBoy]

20 years? I havent seen them in 7 months and I already miss them

 

[Strychnine]

I joined the military when I was 17. I'm retired now, but you get adjusted to being on your own.

 

[Bolshevik***]

i've gone years without seeing my family and it was no big deal to me. after a certain point, they weren't that important to me anyhow, so that could be why.

 

[ocean size]

Homie, you can fly back and see them whenever- this isn't the days of a steamship ride that costs 6 months pay or indentured servitude. I dunno if you have to wait 20 years

I've lived 3000-5000 miles from home for almost a decade. It probably helps I see my family every 6 months to a year though. It can be cost prohibitive if you aren't making ok money.

 

[Hitman81]

I'm mixed on it. When I don't see my family I miss them but when I do see them I wonder why I ever missed them.

 

[mrsinister]

You can google chat anytime.

 

[Bolshevik***]

I'm mixed on it. When I don't see my family I miss them but when I do see them I wonder why I ever missed them.

ain't that right? i guess when you're not around them you only think about the good things, but then when you're around them, they only show you the bad things.

 

[ZroC]

Homie, you can fly back and see them whenever- this isn't the days of a steamship ride that costs 6 months pay or indentured servitude. I dunno if you have to wait 20 years

I've lived 3000-5000 miles from home for almost a decade. It probably helps I see my family every 6 months to a year though. It can be cost prohibitive if you aren't making ok money.

I want to go to Japan. It's about a grand for a flight.

My other option is to get a job on a cargo ship that goes out that way.

As you can see there isn't really a back and forth option there.

 

[rorydaboss]

I like to see my family at least once or twice a year. 20 years would be a no go. Even 2 years wouldn't work.

 

[Bolshevik***]

I want to go to Japan. It's about a grand for a flight.

My other option is to get a job on a cargo ship that goes out that way.

maybe they can help you out and pay for half of your air fare once a year.

 

[Hitman81]

ain't that right? i guess when you're not around them you only think about the good things, but then when you're around them, they only show you the bad things.

Yup, I live on the west coast and most of my family lives on the east coast so I don't see them often. Every couple years I think it might be a good idea to move there to be close to them but instead I just visit for a week and that's often a few days too many. I always wish I got to hang out with my dad more but then when I see him he just wants to sit on the couch and watch Happy Days reruns.

 

[ocean size]

I want to go to Japan. It's about a grand for a flight.

My other option is to get a job on a cargo ship that goes out that way.

As you can see there isn't really a back and forth option there.

If you really want to live abroad but really want to see your family, I don't see how prioritizing a 1k plane ticket every year is that big of a deal - if you are going to afford Japan I imagine you'd have to have a decent job there anyway. Or make some flight attendant friends - they always have buddy passes they can share

 

[ZroC]

maybe they can help you out and pay for half of your air fare once a year.

I have enough trouble asking them for change to get a coffee. My older brother got all the luxuries, college fees and that. I get the hand me downs.

 

[ZroC]

If you really want to live abroad but really want to see your family, I don't see how prioritizing a 1k plane ticket every year is that big of a deal - if you are going to afford Japan I imagine you'd have to have a decent job there anyway. Or make some flight attendant friends - they always have buddy passes they can share

That's actually a good idea.

 

[Bolshevik***]

Yup, I live on the west coast and most of my family lives on the east coast so I don't see them often. Every couple years I think it might be a good idea to move there to be close to them but instead I just visit for a week and that's often a few days too many. I always wish I got to hang out with my dad more but then when I see him he just wants to sit on the couch and watch Happy Days reruns.

damn. talk about boring. my wife was the type to talk about how she liked spending time with her family. anytime we went to visit them, her mom would spend most of the day on the computer, checking facebook, and her dad would be in the basement, watching tv and surfing the web. what's the point of even visiting?

 

[Bolshevik***]

I have enough trouble asking them for change to get a coffee. My older brother got all the luxuries, college fees and that. I get the hand me downs.

doesn't sound like the kind of people i'd be spending 1-2k a year to visit.

 

[MortalWombat]

I know tonnes of people who've moved about as far as you can while still staying on Earth (various bits of UK -> Australia) and they see their families often.

 

[TripLikeIDo]

You can always Skype them if you want to. Then you'll be reminded in a face-to-face way that you have nothing to talk about and no reason to see them in person.

 

[gspieler]

Eh, if its something youre sure you want to do, then do it. If you get that homesick, you'll just end up moving back in a year or two anyway. Or, say you get homesick with no way back or stuck in a situation in your new homeland you cant leave: after a few years of feeling bad about it you will simply grow conditioned to it, move on(figuratively, course), and accept it as your reality as human beings most often do. The point is, dont let a hypothetical that doesnt even exist yet stop you from pursuing what you want in life.