I was going to post this in the WR "open discussion" thread, but it got locked by savagely liberal fascist nazi green party mods. So I will post it here. Just...pretend it's in there, for context.
@HomerThompson glared across the dim room, standing, erect, his bulbous shoulders golden in the lamplight, like the tops of brass bedposts.
"How do you want it?" he asked, wryly.
"Do me like a liberal!" begged Ehtheist, the corners of her mouth moist with anticipation.
In moments her feet were bouncing off the ceiling- repeatedly- her body contorted into strange and fantastic new poses, receiving all the raw male determination of Homer. She nearly fainted. Twice. Huffing, puffing, heaving, she asked for another. "Do me like a conservative!" she squealed, eyes shot red with passion. Homer frowned, and laid on top her, nearly motionless, possibly weeping. Ehtheist was well-used to this, and while it brought her no pleasure, it served as a palate cleanser for her desire.
"Do me like a Libertarian!" she cried at last. Homer frowned again, and reached across her slippery form to retrieve his wallet. "You can swipe your Visa right here" said Ehtheist, parting her thighs slightly. Homer, a savvy politician himself, knew she wasn't lying. But he was short on cash, and replied, as was customary, "How about my daughter's mountain bike in exchange for 17.5 minutes of moderate sex?"
Eighteen minutes later, both of them nearly spent, lying on their backs next to one another and staring at the ceiling- with occasional white popcorn ceiling stuff falling into their eyes- she had one last request of her broad-and-boldly-shouldered lover. At a near whisper she asked, "Homer, will you please, please, do me like an Independent?" He began to honor her request. But then, he hesitated. At the taint. He
hesitainted, unsure which direction to go...
