@Buff threw out a bet, against my better judgement I accepted, the bet being he take Sandhagen I take Font, loser has one week to watch Untold: Jake Paul, and write a 500 minimum word review. With the braincells I have left I wrote a review.
Untold: Jake Pauls opening starts with Jake backstage before the silva fight, hes just unlikeable, he has an entourage that makes Floyd Mayweather look antisocial, a motivational coach is trying to help him envision his victory, Jake is trying to convince you that hes some kind of underdog, Im already mad, a guy thats entire life is a fabrication made to get me to feel some sort of emotion, is doing that I dont like Jake Paul I dont like Logan Paul, and here I am having a strong emotional reaction to Jake Paul, Hes already winning
But then opening credits start and end, but something incredibly strange happens, Logan Paul immediately tells us "Jake Paul is a promoter, Yall got fooled into thinking hes a boxer", but then we cut to Jake and hes begins to tell us "I used to be a landscaper, now Im a seashell collector and a boxer, and I knock people the fuck out". Im now confused, are they playing good cop bad cop, or was Logan warning me none of what I was about to see was real, its all simply Jake Paul promoting himself.
We get to Jakes child hood, and theres an attempt to convince me he has the origin story of every other person that came from nothing, they were just two kids from the sticks and their dad was mean, but then they found a camera and slowly realized they could make videos and make money online by being "infuencers", Jake then informs us that him and his brother are actually the reason thats a term, Im somewhat relieved, my dislike in these guys isnt misplaced
We go through a montage of Jake on the come up, Disney star, 14 million follwers, being recognized everywhere he goes, women are throwing themselves at him, theyre making money but now a sibling rivalry begins to grow, Jake wants to prove to his big brother thats he grown up and on his level, they slowly become more competitive with each other, Logan Paul makes a rap video about sleeping with his little brothers ex girlfriend, but its all likes, so theres an understanding that its just business.
Cut to some controversies, Logan being disrepectful in Japan, he followed a man into the "suicide forrest", and basically documented him hanging himself then proceeded to essentially mock his dead hanging body, Jake and Logan had some kinda of arrest for guns, they then go into Jakes sexaul assault allegations. This all caused Jake to be "in a dark mental place", Logan and his father were concerned Jake is sad, and theyre concerned Jake might kill himself, Jake had some kind of revelation and does not think suicide is funny anymore, but theyre on a mission to help Jake find a purpose.
That purpose is fighting, Jake like Tyson Fury went through a "depression" that has motivated him, hes has a fire inside of him and hes had somewhat of an epiphany, he can combine everything hes learned through being a social media sensation and apply it to boxing, they play footage of ALI alongside Jake promoting their fights, Jake says hes enjoys playing the heel, he can make us tune into his fights by being an obnoxious prick.
We go through his boxing match with rival youtuber Deji, Jake proclaims its the biggest amatuer bout of all time, Jakes nose get popped its gushing blood, his mind is telling him to stop, his body is tired, his legs are giving out, but Jake isnt like you or me, he loved it, something inside took over, he gets a second wind, he turns it around, he comes from behind and gets a tko stoppage.
Jake is now a boxing phenom, but his brother is also on the rise, he boxes KSI and loses a controversial decision and Jake is saddened and it breaks his heart to brother lose. Jake starts Most Valuable Promotions, now montage of Jake doing fighter things like ice baths in his private Puerto Rican villa, he tells us hes done with youtube hes a boxer now, youtube ade him a person he didnt like, but boxing has cured his depression and hes going full force into being a boxer, we cut to the Tommy Fury fight.
Jake continues performing auto-felatio on himself, because what other 4-0 and boxer is fighting another 4-0 boxer, this is just crazy who could imagine Jake Paul in a professional boxing match with another professional boxer, this is just dangerous and no one in boxing has ever taken these risks.
Cut to clips of boxing purists not liking Paul turning this into a circus, we go through Jake proving himself to them by boxing basketball star Nate Robinson. Jake tells us why hes the problem child, they explain how coordinated and calculated he is in calling out specific mma fighters, how hes doing this to go against Dana White for not paying fighters enough, followed by clips of people reacting to him koing Ben Askren and referring to him as if hes in legit fighter.
This is where I become confused by the entire Jake Paul narrative, is talking these guys and referring them as pussies and telling them hes going to knock them the fuck out, and months of Jake being himself as some form of love for these mma fighters and thinking they dont get paid enough, its like Jake is putting these guys through some sort of humiliation ritual to make a fraction of what he makes just for one night.
Back to the movie, and were now watching clips of jake be discussed by sports personalities, were now in the part of this they are trying validate his existence in boxing, Jake wants to make create a fighters union and when Jakes discussing fighter pay, I cant help but feel like this Im watching the equivalance of Exxon making a commercial letting us know they support LGBT cause or BLM after an oil spill.
Jake would like you to know he is a product of child abuse, him and Logan "have been through some shit, it wasnt fun, it was torture", I believe this is what kids call clout, but Jake is traumatized, and its all culminated in giving him motivation and drive to keep doing this, cut to his win over silva cut to Stephen A Smith making the same point every one with a brain knows, Jake isnt boxing boxers but is calling himself a boxer, then back to Jake explaining this is actually why he wants to be a boxer, he wants to sell the biggest payperviews of all time, and he thinks he knows exactly what he needs to do to get what hes in search of, they must be accomplished, they must be tougher than his last opponent (Anderson Silva), they must also be entertaining and as much a spectacle as Jake, they must be likeabke, but most importantly " The Story Line", this will all create the biggest money fight there is, and now were setting up a boxing match with a man who fits this criterias brother, Tommy Fury, yes, this is the moment weve all been waiting for. This is the biggest fight in the world.
Jake never stops trying to convince you that hes still an underdog while betting lines have never once reflected this, we have some back and forth segments between Paul and his opponents father, because his opponent doesnt matter, this is the Jake Paul show, and the movie continues to be formulaic in the sense that its Paul doing his best to sell you on him being the biggest underdog to do it, finally we get to the Tommy Fury fight, and if you didnt see the fight for yourself youd think Jake beat the shit out of him and lost a controversial decision.
Jake is sad backstage he looks much more disappointed than angry, understandibly so, at the end of the day losing hurts, and the Tommy Fury fight was really Jakes first chance to prove himself to the world, was it all smoke and mirrors was he picking fights with guys that were made to lose boxing matches, was he taking boxing serious and able to compete with a legit professional boxers brother, and he answered the questions relatively well, he could hang even if he didnt get the win.
Mike Tyson thinks Jake is an anti hero, not a villian, he thinks he a positive for boxing, he could "save" boxing, because he has such a huge knowledge of the entermaint industry and how to capture and maintain viewership, and Tyson is right, Jake Paul and his brother are simply polarizing, you cant help but feel something about them, of you know of them you will have an opinion of them, and it will be strong, and Paul is well aware, and he plays to it.
Youre not going to walk away from this feeling any different, or learning anything new about Paul, its all very fabricated, and plastic feeling, weve sat through an hour and 10:00 minutes of Jake Paul showing you everything you already know, and also letting you know that he knows he just doing it all as a ploy to get your attention, and at the end of the day hes a master at being grating enough to just scratch at something inside you and make you care.
This movie is best summed up in its opening when Logan Paul tells us "Jake Paul is a promoter, Yall got fooled into thinking hes a boxer", one thing I have walked away with is feeling that Paul is an empty blob thats shaped by whatever vessel will garner the most attention possible, and he will succeed in doing so.
